Kristin Cavallari’s Uncommon James Team Already Has Tension on Very Cavallari: ”I Just Kind of Want Her to Stay in Her Lane”

Very Cavallari 101 Kristin Cavallari may be the face of Uncommon James, but she doesn’t run the lifestyle brand alone!
In fact, in this clip from the premiere of Very Cavallari, Kristin’s worker…

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Why Miranda Lambert Didn’t Do Interviews for Her Latest Album: ‘I’d Already Been Through Hell’

Miranda Lambert had a good reason for not doing any interviews before she released her latest album — she didn’t want to “rehash” the heartbreak that inspired it.

The Weight of These Wings was written while Lambert was going through a very public divorce from fellow country singer Blake Shelton in 2015.

“I came into Marion office and said, ‘I’m not speaking to anyone until they hear this record,’” Lambert, 34, told music journalist Holly Gleason in an interview with HITS Daily Double.

“I thought that was fair,” Lambert continued, explaining that she thought the songs spoke for themselves.

From “Vice” to “Tin Man,” “all the sad moments were there, all the truths were right in those songs. All you had to do was listen. I didn’t need to say anything,” she remarked.

The singer also revealed that she wasn’t eager about the prospect of discussing the painful memories that inspired the album over and over again.

“It was going to be hell, and I’d already been through hell,” she explained. “It was hell putting it on paper, putting my words on paper. So I didn’t want to rehash. I’d finally gotten to a place where I wasn’t sad anymore.”

RELATED: Miranda Lambert Is ‘Honest About Being Flawed’: ‘I Get My Heart Broken’ and ‘I Break Hearts’

Lambert went on to say that anything she would have told interviewers “would’ve been taken out of context.”

“It would’ve set up some expectation that couldn’t be met,” she added. “I was very publicly going through this thing, and there wasn’t an explanation to be given.”

RELATED: Blake Shelton Seemingly Calls Out Ex-Wife Miranda Lambert Amid Reports She’s Dating Evan Felker

Then, when the album came out and she was finally ready to do an interview, she was immediately asked about Shelton’s relationship with Gwen Stefani.

“I got on the phone for the first interview. First question was, ‘How do you feel about Gwen?’ I hung up. I told Marion, I just can’t do this,” she said. “What was in the music was real, and I wanted people to get it from that. Take from it what they would. Then if I needed to talk, I would. But I haven’t really. Until now.”

RELATED VIDEO: Miranda Lambert Talks Record Breaking ACM Wins: ‘I Just Always Try to Live in the Moment’

During the first part of the interview, Lambert also opened up about how she’s not afraid to put everything, good and bad, into her music.

“I am who I am. I am honest about being flawed. That’s all I can be, you know? I cuss. I drink. I get divorced and get my heart broken. I break hearts,” Lambert, who has been dating new boyfriend Evan Felker amid rumors that their friendship turned romantic after he suddenly filed for divorce from his wife, shared of her personal experiences.

“I can’t do or be that anymore, or it’ll drive me crazy. I won’t be good anymore. I felt, maybe, a different kind of fear than any other record. It was really my life’s work and my life’s story. But there was also relief, I was thankful to let the music do what the music does — and to allow myself that,” she continued.


PEOPLE.com

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Victoria Beckham Is Already Wearing These Summer Must-Haves

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Victoria Beckham Is Already Wearing These Summer Must-Haves

ESC: Victoria BeckhamThe summer solstice is right around the corner.
What a perfect excuse to go shopping!
Instead of the cut-offs, floral minis and crop tops that usually max out your seasonal…

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The Bachelorette Sneak Peek: Find Out Who Is Already Falling in Love With Becca (and Letting Her Know)

The Bachelorette, Becca KufrinSomething smells funky, and it’s not anyone’s extensive cologne collection.
In the next episode of The Bachelorette, colognisseur Jean Blanc decides it’s time to tell Becca…

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This Is Us Ending Is Already Set: Dan Fogelman Reveals They’ve Shot Portions of the Series Finale

This Is UsThis Is Us has already filmed portions of its series finale. [Brakes screech.] Yes, series finale!
Dan Fogelman revealed the news at the NBC drama’s FYC panel, which featured Mandy…

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This Story Has Already Stressed Ryan Reynolds Out

The star and driving force behind the “Deadpool” films has long been racked by anxiety. He planned to do most interviews for the movie in character, but not this one.
NYT > Arts

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Stranger Things Season 3 Announces Production and Priah Ferguson Is Already Stealing the Show

Stranger ThingsStranger Things season three, or Stranger Things 3 if you will, is officially in production. To mark the occasion, Netflix released the above video featuring all your old friends, like Millie…

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Stranger Things Season 3 Announces Production and Priah Ferguson Is Already Stealing the Show

Stranger ThingsStranger Things season three, or Stranger Things 3 if you will, is officially in production. To mark the occasion, Netflix released the above video featuring all your old friends, like Millie…

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Meghan Markle’s Christmas Luncheon Outfit Proves She’s Already Figured Out “Sartorial Diplomacy”

Meghan MarkleWithout saying a word, Meghan Markle has already made quite a statement on the way to her first royal pre-Christmas luncheon.
On Wednesday, the American star and future bride was spotted…

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Has All of Opera’s Gold Already Been Mined? John Adams Thinks Not.

Hiking in California’s gold country with John Adams, an enfant-terrible-turned-elder-statesman whose new Gold Rush opera is definitely not Puccini’s.
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Pelton mail: Lakers rookie Kyle Kuzma already a shooting star?

Pelton mail: Lakers rookie Kyle Kuzma already a shooting star?
www.espn.com – NBA

Is Embiid already a max player after 31 games? (Yahoo Sports)

Joel Embiid

Joel Embiid has teased everyone with the promise of his talent, which everyone got to see for the first time last season. Now, it’s time to talk contract.



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Game of Thrones Fans Are Already Freaking Out About Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen Meeting

Game of ThronesIt’s the Game of Thrones moment you’ve been waiting for. Like, for years. Viewers have waited for this for years. Do you know what it is yet? Do you? You do.
It’s the moment…

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Colonel Chic: KFC Clothing Already Selling Out

COLONEL SANDERS CHIC: KFC’s fast-food fashion is selling like hot cakes. A day after the chain unveiled its online shop offering fried-chicken themed apparel, accessories and other limited-edition items, a third of the products have sold out.
Much like Starbuck’s vastly successful unicorn frappuccino, “www.kfclimited.com” seems to have been designed with the Instagram-obsessed generation in mind. Customers can order Colonel Sanders shirts, jewelry, pocket squares, lapel pins even a KFC pillow. The company web site teased: “Dance like no one’s watching. Sing like no one’s listening. Dress like you haven’t eaten lunch yet.”
Among the eclectic mix of merchandise is even a $ 20,000, 400-year-old meteorite in the shape of a Zinger sandwich.
MORE: Lindsay Wixon Quits Modeling >> 
“KFC and Colonel Sanders have been American pop-culture icons for more than 70 years,” Steve Kelly, KFC U.S. director of media and digital said. “Our fans were craving a way to embrace the fried chicken lifestyle, and KFC Ltd. gives them the opportunity to let their colonel flag fly.”
The brand simultaneously revealed a new KFC-branded mobile phone for the Chinese market in collaboration with Huawei.
The Louisville, Ky.-headquartered company has a penchant for creative brand extensions. In 2015, the brand recruited London men’s wear designer Katie Eary to create a collection

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Browns already lost draft pick to serious injury (Yahoo Sports)

Howard Wilson

The Browns lost one of their draft picks to a significant knee injury during non-contact practice.



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The HoloLens Inventor Thinks “the Phone Is Already Dead”

Microsoft’s Alex Kipman, HoloLens inventor has proclaimed that mobile phones as a device are dead.

While discussing the medium, Bloomberg reports that Kipman is sure that the phones will soon be replaced by hybrid devices more akin to the HoloLens. “The phone is already dead,” he says. “People just haven’t realized.”

This sentiment is seemingly echoed throughout Microsoft as the company focuses on their other devices, despite the potential 1.5 billion smartphones likely to be sold this year.

Microsoft has said it would rather stay out of the mobile phone market entirely unless they can offer something truly different. Marketing chief Yusuf Mehdi has even stated  “We’re not going to come out with another device that someone’s done,” remarking on the stagnant nature of innovation within the industry.

Continue reading…

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Here’s Why Today Show Viewers Are Already Toasting to Hoda Kotb’s Big Return

Hoda Kotb, Kathie Lee Gifford If you’re a morning show viewer, chances are you’re feeling pretty darn pumped for Funday Monday.
No, there isn’t a major tell-all interview on the calendar. And no, a beloved…

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The Handmaid’s Tale Has Already Become One of the Most Influential Shows of 2017

The chilling official trailer just dropped.

Lifestyle – Esquire

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Charo Is Already Starting a Dancing With the Stars “Controversy” With Judge Bruno Tonioli

Dancing With the Stars Season 24, DWTSThe queen is in the ballroom. The queen of the cuchi-cuchi that is. Charo and professional dance partner Keo Motsepe made their Dancing With the Stars debut on the season 24 premiere and netted a…

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This Behind-the-Scenes SNL Video Proves Kate McKinnon Is Already One of the Greats

Impressive as hell.

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We’re Already Getting A Miniseries About The 2016 Election

We are 26 days into Donald Trump’s presidency, and there’s already a miniseries about the 2016 election on the horizon.

That’s right, you can soon channel your crippling panic about America’s federal horror show via an eight- to 10-hour drama from “Zero Dark Thirty” scribe Mark Boal and producer Megan Ellison, according to Deadline. Boal, who won an Oscar for writing “The Hurt Locker,” is expected to make his directorial debut and pen part of the series.

Boal and Ellison will work with Hugo Lindgren, the former New York Times and Hollywood Reporter editor who in 2014 launched Page 1, a company that develops movies and TV series based on recent news stories. Lindgren is reportedly compiling a team of investigative journalists in New York and Washington, D.C., to work on the project. 

Whether or not a few months provides enough distance to process the nutty election we just endured is yet to be seen. It seems like this endeavor most closely resembles Game Change, the meticulously reported behind-the-scenes account of the 2008 election. Game Change started as a 2010 book and became an Emmy-winning HBO movie in 2012. 

There’s no network attached to Boal and Ellison’s series yet. Showtime has already contributed to the election postmortem with “Trumped: Inside the Greatest Political Upset of All Time,” a documentary that aired Feb. 3. PBS also dedicated a January episode of “Frontline” to chronicling how the hell Trump made it all the way to the White House. It’s almost like the whole thing is so dreadful that no one can think of anything else! Fire up your Hillary Clinton casting wish list now.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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This Distracted Beagle Is Already Our Favorite At Westminster Dog Show

Bless Mia the beagle for behaving like a dog during Saturday’s showing at the Westminster Dog Show in New York.

She didn’t conquer the agility competition — but she won plenty of hearts with an adorably distracted performance.

“That was a delightfully entertaining run,” the announcer says in the clip.

The breed judging for the Westminster Kennel Club’s 141st annual show began Monday.

H/T For The Win

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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No debate: Tom Brady already greatest QB ever (Yahoo Sports)

Tom Brady can win his fifth Super Bowl ring on Sunday. (AP)

Before Sunday, it will be debated if Brady will be the greatest quarterback ever with a fifth ring. But he earned that moniker years ago.



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We May Already Know The Cliffhanger Coming In ‘Game Of Thrones’

A “huge cliffhanger” is coming …

In a recent interview with Time Out for Netflix’s “iBoy,” Maisie Williams described Season 7 of “Game of Thrones” by saying, “It’s just kind of tumbling now.” 

The actress continued:

We’ve come to the climax and it’s rolling down to the end. It’s exciting. I really felt like at the end of last season everything was set up for how it was going to end. Every character came to a little junction in their lives. Now we’re all going to crash down together to however this show ends.

Williams says fans can expect “a huge cliffhanger” on the way, though we may already know what that is.

A number of “Game of Thrones” leaks came out late last year on Reddit. Usually supposed leaks hit the internet and one can quickly dismiss them, but these leaks have gradually been getting confirmed

Warning: Potential spoilers ahead.

One of those leaks posited that the season ends on a pretty major cliffhanger, just like Williams teased.

The Wall will fall at the end of the season, while Jon and Dany have sex.

Wow. Just as Khaleesi supposedly Winter-falls into your arms, the Wall will come crashing down. You know nothing about romance, Jon Snow

As more proof that the teased cliffhanger is the Wall coming down, remember Williams’ verbiage as she described the season: It’s all “tumbling” now. The cast is going to “crash down” together. 

It’s doubtful Williams intentionally peppered in words that hint at the ending.

(The actress already went on record saying people who leak spoilers from “Game of Thrones” are sad. A girl hates it.)

But it all fits kind of perfectly, and as the United States Postal Service says, “If it fits, it ships.” Or in Jon and Dany’s case, if their relationship fits, we’ll ‘ship. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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Summer House Is Just Getting Started and There’s Already Major Drama in Montauk

Summer HouseEverett Weston and Lindsay Hubbard are starting the season off a couple, but will they still be that way by the time summer turns to fall on Summer House? We’re already worried.
In…

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Your Children Already Know What They’re Getting for Christmas—Thanks, Internet

Online shopping makes it simpler to buy gifts, but cookies, browsing histories and shared accounts make it harder to hide them; what Siri has to say about Santa Claus
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Top Scientists Confirm: America Already 4.8% Greater Again

Read The Political Garbage Chute for daily, totally fake news.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Less than 48 hours after alleged billionaire Donald J. Trump was elected as the 45th President of the United States of America, some of the nation’s top scientists have made a rather momentous announcement. Speaking at a press conference outside the National Science Institute’s headquarters, Dr. Glenda Halsey told reporters the NSI’s initial tests confirm an “uptick” in the country’s Greatness Quotient — a measurement the science community has relied upon for centuries to empirically measure just how great a country is or isn’t.

“As soon as Mr. Trump was declared the winner,” Dr. Halsey told reporters, “the nation’s GQ — that’s Greatness Quotient — went up by 4.8%.”
2016-11-10-1478792125-9589554-Donald_J._Trump_at_Marriott_Marquis_NYC_September_7th_2016_03.jpg
Halsey says that the NSI uses an evaluative battery of tests to determine the GQ of any nation. The tests look to see how many guns are owned per citizen, how much freedom “libtards and other Commies” have, in addition to a multitude of other variables. The results are measured against the optimal levels and then the GQ is calculated. Dr. Halsey, when reporters asked what factors caused or contributed to the uptick in America’s GQ, hedged a bit.

“We’re not really one hundred percent sure,” Dr. Halsey said, “we just know that magically, overnight, America was greater again. Nothing specific happened, but we do have some interesting hypotheses.”

One theory, Halsey said, is that the country’s colors stopped running. Another is that a large number of Americans who didn’t love it, left it. Still another theory is that Americans en masse began contributing their daily $ 1.05 to the Freedom Fund started after 9/11 by the George W. Bush administration. Her colleagues told Dr. Halsey they have another theory that involves “millions of true, red-blooded, ammo hoarding patriots” replacing the words “France” or “French” with “freedom” in their common vernacular.

“I’m not really sure which, if any of these theories is the correct one,” Halsey said, “but we are very soon going to have a reality-TV star and guy who’s taken several of his businesses into bankruptcy as our president, so I’m not even entirely sure the normal universal scientific laws even apply anymore.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Sold-out Snapchat sunglasses already on eBay

Sold-out Snapchat sunglasses already on eBayIf you’re looking for a pair of Snapchat’s new video glasses,



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You Already Know What to Do: 10 Invitations to the Intuitive Life

You Already Know What to Do: 10 Invitations to the Intuitive Life


We experience intuition as an instinctive action, a flash of inspiration, a moment when we feel one with the world. Intuition tells us what to do: how to make that difficult decision or achieve a creative breakthrough-and one has been teaching or writing about the subject longer than Sharon Franquemont. Drawing upon twenty-eight years’ experience teaching intuition in college courses, seminars, and private training, through challenging exercises and illuminating narrative, Franquemont explores this great natural resource on a life-changing level. Her perspective is unique. Intuition not a quick-fix tool to reach superficial goals, she believes, but rather a way of being: a means by which to harvest a more passionate and powerful existence. In addition to the traditional topics of creativity, decision making, and problem solving, You Already Know What To Do includes information on (1) the role of intuition in discovering purpose, (2) intuition and the Soul Mate process, (3) collaborative intuition in work teams and families, (4) mastery of intuitive time and space, and (5) how to tap your passion, power, and purpose on Earth. To date no one but Franquemont shows how intuition can improve collaboration in business and group settings, or teaches couples how to use intuition to deepen relationships. Best selling books like Laura Day’s Practical Intuition have barely begun to tap the power of intuition. You Aleady Knows What To Do reminds each of us that w
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Add the Best Books of 2015 to Your Reading List (If You Haven’t Already)

The Amazon Books editors read hundreds of thousands of pages throughout the year to curate their list of the Best Books of 2015—and each month, they meet to discuss which titles make their cut as…


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Anne Hathaway Reveals She’s Already Losing Roles to Younger Actresses

We've talked about Hollywood's twisted ageism complex before: It surfaces every time an actress has to lie about her age, or we see a twentysomething actress paired up romantically with a 40-plus actor, or an…


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10 Behaviors Middle-Aged People Need To Stop Doing Already

Who doesn’t love a good silly list? In the comments below, please add to our serious and not-so-serious list of things and habits we should all probably have shed by now.

1. The “meh” shrug.

The “meh” shrug has emerged as a Donald Trump trademark. Please, before the “meh” shrug becomes as ubiquitous as cell phones in restaurants, can we please rid ourselves of this smug expression? We are reminded of Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman, who somewhat prophetically once asked, “How come we choose from just two people for President, and 50 for Miss America?” Now, did you just do a “meh” shrug when you read that?

 

2. The generational claim to the best. music. ever.

Yes, boomers owned Woodstock. They also can claim the British Invasion. But we can debate til the cows come home whether the music shaped the generation or was merely the background score to their coming of age. The fact that many boomers bemoaned how they had no idea what to listen to during the 1980s suggests that they weren’t trying very hard. The reality is that every generation has shunned the music of those that came later.  It’s time for boomers to stop with the claim of “nothing compares with The Grateful Dead” and asking their grandkids, “How can you listen to that stuff?” Truth is, weren’t The Animals a passing thing?

3. Buying furniture from Ikea.

Everyone appreciates how the Swedish put-it-together-yourself-if-you-dare furniture maker outfitted our first apartments. But like most first loves, we reach a point where it’s time to move on. As a matter of fact, most marriages would improve if there was a law that said all furniture must come preassembled. 

The one exception to our Ikea-is-for-kids rule is their meatballs. Actually they have some neat decorating stuff too. But nothing that needs assembling.

4. Hanging on to unframed prints.

If you haven’t done it by now, that poster you picked up at the museum gift shop in Amsterdam in 2004 isn’t really ever likely to see a frame or the light of day. Why clutter your closets with things like this when by now you should have learned that buying a postcard (that fits in your purse) of your favorite painting makes more sense.

5. Keeping incomplete sets of cutlery.

“No, no, I need the forks with the round handles, not with the wavy lines on them!” Who among us hasn’t screamed those precise words at a child who is helping set the table while the dinner guests are ringing the doorbell? The simplest solution is to get rid of all the partial sets of cutlery and just get one complete set. While it is inevitable that the occasional spoon must be sacrificed to the Great Garbage Disposal God, when your utensil set reaches a critical mass of missing pieces, it’s time to toss and repeat.

4. Displaying your CD collections.

With rare exception, your CD collection probably shouldn’t be the focal point of your living room when you are 50. That said, we feel differently about your old vinyl collection, although do you really want visitors rifling through your albums and leaving smudge marks with their dirty paws?

5. Hanging on to your kid’s first school backpack.

At some point, you must accept that your 25-year-old will grimace when he sees that adorable photo of his first day of kindergarten where he’s wrapped himself around your knees begging you not to leave. Take it to the bank: He certainly won’t ever use the backpack he’s pictured wearing. And no, your grandchildren likely won’t either. 

6. Stashing stuff under your bed.

Declutter the person and you declutter the mind. Under-the-bed storage is really just clutter. It largely consists of things that at one point you developed a sentimental and maybe even irrational attachment to. It’s stuff that you never use (or it wouldn’t be under the bed, would it?). Seriously, you never know what you’re going to find there. And giving your cat an additional hiding place will endear you to her, in her own way of course.

7. Accumulating piles of unopened mail.

First of all, why aren’t you opening your mail? Sure, most everything of importance is now handled online, but occasionally — stuck in between all the paper advertisements and unsolicited credit card offers — is something that is actually important. Collect your mail from the mailbox every day (overflowing mailboxes also tip off the bad guys that you may not be home) and spend 30 seconds dispensing with it.

 8. Thinking shot glasses, snow globes and refrigerator magnets  from your travels make you a collector.

There are many other ways to commemorate your travels besides identical Starbuck’s mugs that have different cities’ names on them. We prefer photos of you standing in front of the Eiffel Tower or posing by a Venetian gondola to shot glasses that were all manufactured in the same factory in China, no matter where you bought them. If you are going to buy souvenirs, why not at least have them be representative of the place you are visiting. Vermont maple syrup, Murano glass, French wine — all make more sense to us than a snow globe with the Hollywood sign in it. It doesn’t even ever snow there.

9. Covering your windows with anything other than drapes or blinds.

While you may have a soft spot for those Indian blankets we used to keep the sunlight from waking us up before noon in college, it’s a decorating style that will draw unwanted assumptions — and maybe even the attentions of Homeland Security — should you try it later in life. 

 10. Showing signs you could be a hoarder.

Can we just say this up front? We think porcelain dolls are a little creepy. They look creepy and the idea that they are dolls but you can’t play with them is also creepy. Not judging, mind you. The broader point is that most collections are just dust collectors. They clutter our shelves and our lives. They take up space. Do you really need them? Would the money you spend collecting those dolls could be put to a much better use, saying, buying a real doll for a real kid who doesn’t have one.

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Julianne Hough Was An Extra In ‘Harry Potter,’ But We Actually Already Knew That

Julianne Hough took part in Us Weekly’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me” feature, in which the magazine asks celebrities to list 25 interesting or random facts about themselves that the public probably doesn’t know about them. But Hough’s list comes up short, because there’s at least one fact we definitely already knew:

11. I was a Gryffindor in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,” but don’t blink or you’ll miss me!

While this isn’t news to us, maybe it’s news to you. And there really isn’t a bad time to revisit a moment in Harry Potter history. Hough’s role’s as a Hogwarts student was blink and you’ll miss it, indeed. She can be seen sitting near Hermoine (Emma Watson) and Ron (Rupert Grint) while they cheer on Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) at a Quidditch match.

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Hough has actually spoken her appearance in beloved 2001 children’s movie on more than one occasion.

“Oh, yes. I remember it like it was yesterday. I’m still such a big fan. I always go and watch the midnight showing, so I’m excited to see it,” she told Parade magazine in 2011 when asked if the ending of the film series felt bittersweet.

She added, “I might get in trouble for this, but I actually stole the Gryffindor scarf that I had as a memento. I was like, ‘I have to keep this scarf!’”

Then in 2012, during an appearance on “Live With Kelly,” Hough brought up the scarf story again and admitted that while filming the movie as an 11-year-old she fell hard for Harry Potter himself.

“I was kind of in love, especially with Daniel Radcliffe. I wrote him a love note. It was Valentine’s Day and I got him the Valentino Beanie Baby. I never heard back,” she said.

You can also see Hough in this deleted scene from the first “Harry Potter” movie:

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If We Weren’t Already Married, Would You Choose Me Again?

When I deal with married couples facing difficulties in their relationship, I know that the key to help them effectively resolve their current problem lies in finding the core of love they felt for each other when they began their relationship. If they can revisit the reasons they originally chose each other, they will automatically be more motivated to triumph over their current distress. Their answer to this specific question tells me what commitment energy is still available for us to work with.

“If you weren’t married right now, how likely would it be that you would choose each other again?”

It would be a welcome surprise if the answers were always a resounding “yes.” More often though, the question is met with a perfunctory reassurance that might not reflect what each really feels underneath. It is more probable that I’m going to see two once-beloved partners struggle to answer what each would want to hear, but may no longer be fully true.

Perhaps they haven’t asked each other how they have changed who they are inside or what they have wanted differently for a very long time. Maybe they haven’t even thought of the individual dreams each may have left behind in service of the parallel team they have become. Dealing with the challenges and unexpected pitfalls they’ve had to face, what if they’ve forgotten how to love each other above all else? If their common goals didn’t materialize because tragedies emerged, illnesses took their toll, or outside temptations threatened their mutual trust in each other, how has that affected their relationship?

Significant challenges might have given opportunities for renewing their prior closeness, but perhaps the stresses were too difficult or too many for them to hold on to what they once knew. Most probably, after each succeeding crisis, they were just glad to return to life as it was, back in the day-to-day groove they came to know as comfort.

You Are Not Alone

If you are one of these committed couples who have drifted far away from your initial vows to love and treasure each other forever and above all else, please understand that your current state is not unusual.

Most people marry with the best of intentions to live out their lives together. They believe that their love is strong enough to weather any and all challenges that life will bring, strong enough in their union that they will triumph over all odds.

A committed couple, who transforms too often from personal intimacy to parallel commitment, may inadvertently and unconsciously exchange their original love bond for a more platonic friendship. In leaning on each other to get through the tough times, they can easily forget to recreate what brought them together in the first place.

As that parallel orientation becomes habitual, the original sweetness that made them pledge their hearts together can easily fall away without their knowing. Habits and rituals have replaced innovation and discovery. Compromise has suppressed individuality. The lure of secure predictability has become a way of life.

On the surface, this established couple may seem to have found a time-worn compatibility to be proud of, but underneath there may be a different story. They may have forgotten so much of what they once deeply knew about each other, or what may have changed dramatically inside that is no longer shared. Whatever newness, discovery, adventure, and exploration they had for themselves, each other, and the world when love was new has given way to doing whatever they can to make the relationship work.

If you ask them whether they still love each other, they will say, “of course.” If you ask them how their relationship is doing, they will say, “as good as you can expect, considering the challenges we’ve faced.” If you asked them, instead, “Given the chance to do your relationship over, what would you change?” and they were honest, you might hear stories about long-lost dreams that did not materialize, or decisions that they wish they could have made differently.

If you then ask them how they might make their relationship become more alive, passionate, and exciting, you might hear “I don’t know,” “That would be nice, but it’s okay the way it is,” or “I’m not sure.” It would be clear that they are not necessarily unhappy, but it is a far cry from what they felt at the altar place when they committed themselves to a lifetime together.

The couple is deeply entrenched in practicality and security, but their romantic connection has diminished. Even as their answers state the status quo, there are hopefully two people somewhere deep inside who once loved each other more passionately and are wishing desperately that the other will notice their fading light.

How can couples who have substituted comfort and predictability restore the significant connection they once knew and promised to each other? What tools can they use to prevent losing each other in the first place or find each other again if they are too far apart?

Prevention: Yearly Check-ins and Renewed Commitments

Every year of every love relationship, it would be ideal if intimate partners would take stock of what they wanted to happen during that year and whether or not they are on track. They could re-assess what changes have happened to each of them internally and inter-personally and whether they need to change some of their expectations. They would openly and honestly face any disappointments either partner might be feeling and how they could be addressed. They would make certain that their intimate connection stayed intact regardless of the outside challenges they might be facing. They would remember who they were when they pledged their forever love and would be willing to do whatever they needed to feel that way again.

Then, they would ask each other the crucial question: “What would I need to do or become today that would make you want to marry me again?”

As if in a new beginning, each partner would immediately make the other’s request of utmost importance and instantly begin making plans together to implement them. Willing to make each other front and center again, the couple would together strive to foresee potential disconnects and head them off before they gathered steam. They could help each other view the past year and evaluate what they had done, what resources were depleted in the process, and what they needed to do to repair any damage.

Repair: If You Need to Love more Deeply Again

If you love each other still but have forgotten how to show it to each other, begin with writing down the answers to each of these questions. Do that separately first before sharing them with your partner. Take your time and answer each one as completely and honestly as you can.

Before you share your answers, look deeply into each other’s eyes for five full minutes before you speak. During that time, ask yourself silently that, of this were the last time you would ever see each other, what would you feel? Hopefully, it would be great sadness.

If so, this exercise will prepare you to share and receive your authentic answers from each other with consideration and kindness, and begin your commitment to love each other more deeply again.

1) What did you most love about me when we married?
2) Why did you think I chose you?
3) What were your dreams then for us?
4) What have you felt have been some of our most precious moments over the years?
5) What experiences have pushed us apart?
6) What do you still love most about me?
7) How would you like me or our relationship to be different?
8) What do you need from me now to feel more treasured?
9) If you could have any kind of future with me now, what would it be like?
10) Would you like us to have more time alone together, and, if so, doing what?
11) Can you tell me your innermost thoughts and feelings? If not, what would that take?
12) If our relationship were to end, how would you be?
13) What are your disappointments in our relationship?
14) What good things have happened to us that you didn’t expect?
15) What would make you feel more alive and excited about your life?

This exercise is an opportunity for re-doing your wedding vows based on a long-term relationship of shared history and a much deeper knowledge of who you both have become. Whatever aspects emerge will be the foundations for change because you now have the best of a new beginning along with the lessons from the past. Hold on to all that is still sacred, leave behind what no longer is helpful, and commit to a new, re-ignited future.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:


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