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The Top 5 Bridesmaid Etiquette Questions, Answered

For BRIDES, by Jaimie Schoen.

What's a bride without her bridesmaids? Whether you're selecting the women who will stand by your side at your own wedding, or have been invited to be a bridesmaid for a friend or family member, the honor comes with a lot of responsibilities — and a lot of questions. Thankfully, our experts have the answers!

If I Was Her Bridesmaid, Do I Have to Ask Her to Be Mine?
The short answer is, no. If you aren’t as close as you used to be, there’s no rule requiring that you return the favor and ask the friend in question to be in your wedding, as well. Even if you’re still close friends, if you’ve decided to have a much smaller wedding party, there are many other ways you can include her in your wedding without asking her to wear a matching dress and plan the bachelorette party. Still best friends? Then by all means, ask away!

How Many Bridesmaids Should I Have?
The size of the wedding party is usually proportionate to the size of the wedding as a whole. Weddings with much larger guest lists tend to have more bridesmaids and groomsmen, while more intimate celebrations often feature just a few people in the wedding party. If you’re having trouble narrowing it down, focus on inviting close friends who you know will be responsive, excited, and cooperative: The last thing you want is a group of bridesmaids who don’t get along or disagree with every idea you have, so that might mean keeping the group smaller for the sake of your sanity.

See More: The 49 Mistakes Bridesmaids Always Make

What Should I Do if I Can't Afford to Be a Bridesmaid?
Let’s face it: Being a bridesmaid is expensive. From the dress and hair appointment to the bridal shower and bachelorette party, it’s a lot to spend! If you’re on a budget, talk to the bride about it early-on. Figure out if she’d rather have you at the bridal shower or the bachelorette party, and if you can do your own hair or makeup instead of springing for the professional. When it comes to your dress, check resale sites to see if you can get the same gown for a steal, or look into companies like Vow to be Chic or Rent the Runway to rent instead of buying. (The latter is a great option if the bride has requested mismatched attire!) And of course, if you’re really strapped for cash, consider stepping down and offering to participate in the wedding another way, whether it’s as a greeter at the ceremony or by giving a toast at the rehearsal dinner, and then simply attend as a guest.

What Does a Bridesmaid Do?
When you’re not the maid of honor, you might think there’s a lot less for you to do, but you still have responsibilities! Bridesmaids can pitch in to help the MOH, whether it’s coordinating travel schedules while she makes hotel reservations for the bachelorette party or stepping in to take care of smaller details for the bridal shower. If you live close to the bride, you may be called upon to help with DIY projects or run last-minute errands before the big day. The biggest role is to be supportive, and then to serve as a quasi-hostess once the party starts. Socialize with guests, smile, and get down on the dance floor!

See More: The Best Wedding Dress Looks From Bridal Fashion Week

Do Bridesmaids Get a Plus One?
Common plus-one practice has definitely evolved with the times, and the general rule today is that anyone in a serious relationship should be invited along with their significant other, while more casual relationships or single guests are invited solo. You could apply this rule to your wedding party, as well, but given how much your ‘maids have done throughout the planning process, most brides and grooms opt to extend a plus-one invitation to their bridesmaids and groomsmen, no matter their relationship status.

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— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
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The 5 Questions Brides Ask Most About Etiquette, Answered by the Emily Post Institute

From the moment you get engaged until you receive your last wedding present, etiquette questions abound for the bride-to-be. Some are classics that decades of women have asked, while others are completely new for our…

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How to Be a Lesbian: Our Burning Questions Answered


I’ve been learning how to be a lesbian lately, because my boyfriend and I opened our relationship last year.

“Open relationship,” for us, means we’re still committed to each other but also date other people. So I get to be a lesbian sometimes, and he gets to be, um, the same. But with more sex.

Ten productive months into being a sometimes-lesbian, I still have a lot of questions. So I reached out to Natashia Mower, this lesbian I know personally,* to set me, well, gay, I guess.

Dana: Where can I find the best vests? Is there a special store online?

Natashia: You don’t actually find the best vests; the best vests find you. Be patient; it’ll happen. My favorite vest didn’t find me until I had been out of the closet for almost six years. (Things would’ve been so much easier if the vest had been in the closet I came out of.)

Dana: How short does my hair have to be before they’ll know I’m gay? What styles read “bicurious”?

Natashia: This is heavily debated in the gay community, so I can only give you my personal opinion. Sideburns are tricky and will most likely indicate “straight” or “bicurious.” Trust me; I’ve been side-burned too many times thinking a girl was gay just because she had short hair with sideburns. In my experience, the best method to ensure your hair clearly defines your sexuality is to find a photograph of your father from the late ’70s and go with whatever haircut he had at the time.

Dana: Can my dog be any kind of mutt, or does it have to be a purebred German shepherd?

Natashia: You won’t be kicked out of the lesbians if you have a mutt; we find any breed or mix of breeds acceptable. German shepherds are only so common amongst gay women because they’re like the lesbians of dogs: loyal, capable and they look great in vests. Again, German shepherds aren’t a requirement. It is preferred that you at least have a pet of some kind: dog, cat, gerbil, ant farm, algae, etc. For the record, ferrets are very in right now.

Dana: Is there a class I can take on “EDM for Introverts,” or is that something you just learn from the other lesbians?

Natashia: Well, I hope there’s a class, because I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about right now. I guess I’m just too busy being home alone, avoiding everyone and everything. By the way, can you recommend any good music?

Dana: What is the easiest way to locate my nearest Whole Foods?

Natashia: Get yourself a GPS (gay-positioning system) off of Amazon, $ 35. It will point you towards the nearest Whole Foods, Lady Foot Locker and the renovated garage where my ex-girlfriend Trinity grooms homeless dogs.

Dana: Is there a cheaper version of Birkenstocks? (How is a barista supposed to afford those?)

Natashia: Stirkenbocks, found at Payless, Shoe Carnival and some farmer’s markets. They are very uncomfortable. Stirkenbocks!

Dana: How long into a first date should I wait to give her a key to my apartment?

Natashia: Immediately, if not before the date. If that’s too fast for you, judge based on how the date is going. For example, if the date is going well, give her the key right before you order your food. You may have a love-at-first-sight scenario, in which case you will want to have come prepared with what’s referred to as a “bouquet of keys” (a key ring with a copy of every key you have), a romantic tradition started by lesbian janitors.

Dana: Tofu, tempei, seitan: Which really tastes like chicken?

Natashia: This is a common misconception wherein people confuse gay women with people who have money. I don’t have money. Is the answer chicken? Chicken tastes like chicken.

Dana: So that I’m not lost in a conversation, what are some of the must-know fanfic sites?

Natashia: FictionElle, FictionEllen and FictionL-Word are the three most popular and are currently part of various lawsuits against each other, for obvious reasons.

Dana: How many bumper stickers is too many — or too few?

Natashia: Quality over quantity, I say. If you pull up to a coffee shop or lesbian bar in a Subaru that is plastered in a variety of bumper stickers, the only thing it will say about you is that you couldn’t afford a new paint job. Think very carefully about your personal values, opinions and which secondhand bookstore you most want to advertise for.

Dana: Are there great trails for hiking anywhere in the U.S., or do I need to move west to be a lesbian?

Natashia: When you’re a lesbian, you can hike anywhere. As long as you’re a homosexual lady walking outside, it counts. It’s called dykeing.

Dana: Now that I’m a lesbian, will I still get into Heaven — sorry, Sheaven?

Natashia: As long as you never renounce your lesbianism and never murder anyone, you will most likely get into Sheaven. Heaven, on the other hand, isn’t a real place.

*No we’re not sleeping together. But you’re right; that would be hot.

Natashia Mower is a stand-up comedian from Salt Lake City. She was recently nominated for a Salt Lake City Weekly Arty Award for best local stand-up and moved into her parents’ garage around the same time. Follow her on Twitter @tashiamo.

Dana Sitar is still not sure how to dance to EDM. You can find more stories and resources from her at
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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5 Major Questions We Need Answered From Last Night’s Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce

Vegas, baby, was at the heart of last night's Girlfriend Guide to Divorce. And usually what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but we actually took home a ton of questions that need answers! It…

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All of Your Embarrassing Bikini Wax Questions, Answered!

All of Your Embarrassing Bikini Wax Questions, Answered!The best advice we can give you: start now – whether you choose waxing, laser, electrolysis, or another long-lasting hair-removal method. And if waxing is your choice, then you're in luck, since we tapped Noemi Grupenmager, CEO and founder of Uni K Wax Centers, to answer the questions you might not want to ask your friends or your mom (yeah, we all get itchy down there sometimes). POPSUGAR: What is the best way to avoid ingrown hair? Noemi Grupenmager: If you wax regularly, you'll lower your chance of getting an ingrown hair.

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