After the cast of “The Bachelorette” Season 13 was made public by ABC last Wednesday, Bachelor Nation rushed to check out Rachel Lindsay’s crop of 31 gentlemen and left with one burning question: What is a “whaboom”?
On Monday night, during the season premiere, we found out what a “whaboom” is: The actual worst guy on “The Bachelorette,” perhaps ever.
Contestant Lucas listed his profession as “whaboom” on his cast bio, and unfortunately he did little during the premiere to enlighten the audience, or Rachel, as to how exactly he makes a living as a whaboom. Nonetheless, he leaned wayyy into his brand. Lucas exited the limo toting a megaphone and sporting a muscle tank emblazoned with the word, which is apparently his signature catchphrase. (It punctuates a moment, like “boom” but, uh, more obnoxious.)
During the evening, he treated the Bachelorette, the other suitors, and America to a series of “whabooms” so loud, sustained, and passionate that his neck veins bulged, his face purpled, and at one point he tumbled onto the floor.
He also made use of his megaphone to announce to Rachel that one of his testicles is larger than the other (errmkay…) and to narrate loudly her one-on-one time with another, unfortunate bachelor.
Lucas’ non-stop whabooming was so aggressively unpleasant that it easily beat out a couple other strong contenders for Most Off-putting: Milton, who repeatedly treated Rachel to feline growls of approval; Jamey, who unironically cited his $ 2,000 suit as a selling point; and Jonathan, whose limo exit involved a surprise tickle party. (Just say no to tickling strangers.)
Lucas got the final rose Monday night and lives to see week two of “The Bachelorette.” Will he turn out to be Rachel’s newly minted fiancé? Let’s just say we doubt it.
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