Nonfiction: Exonerated for a Murder They Didn’t Commit

In “Good Kids, Bad City,” Kyle Swenson tells the story of three men who suffered a terrible injustice and a city, Cleveland, complicit in the wrong.
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For Bridesmaids Not Ready to Commit: Lauren Conrad Styles for Rent

“Vow to Be Chic,” a designer rental site created by a serial bridesmaid, has added Lauren Conrad’s Paper Crown collection to its roster. The former reality TV star, who also designs LC Lauren Conrad, a lower-priced line for Kohl’s, revealed on Jan. 1 via Instagram that she’s expecting her first child with husband William Tell.
Kelsey Doorey, founder and chief executive officer of Vow, said the site is pleased to be working with Conrad and her business partner, Maura McManus, and praised the collection for its mix of “boho and modern designs” and its fabrics and fit.
 The web site will carry three Paper Crown styles, including a full-length version of Jeannie, which has a chiffon overlay and skirt and is exclusive to Vow; Mandi, with a soft ruffle on the double-V neckline and full column skirt, and Natalie, a draped number that can be worn with or without its matching sash. The dresses — which come in two colorways: Silver Peony, a shade of blush, and Spiced Wine, a deep red — can be rented for under $ 99 each. Paper Crown gowns retail from $ 225 to $ 325.
“No longer do bridesmaids have to spend $ 300-plus on a dress in a random color or style that they’ll never wear again,”

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Photographer Steven Klein Shoots 2017 ‘Commit to Something’ Equinox Campaign

Equinox wants you to commit to more than just walking through its doors in the new year. The high-end fitness club has been known to take an edgy approach to its advertising imagery, and 2017 is no different — its newest campaign, a continuation of last year’s “Commit to Something” series shot by fashion photographer Steven Klein was just released.
At first glance, the seven images have little to do with working out. Imagery includes model Jessica Stam sitting inside a cannabis grow center, a man lounging with a virtual reality headset over his eyes, a pit of concertgoers all fixated on their iPhones and a shirtless man covered in a swarm of bees. Thinking about your next personal training sesh yet?
“It’s certainly no secret that Steven [Klein] is a fearless creative with a strong point of view on social issues, so it was a no-brainer to continue telling the commitment narrative through his powerful lens,” said Elizabeth Nolan, Equinox Executive Creative Director. “This year’s imagery goes even deeper to showcase his greatest strengths as a storyteller, collaborator and cultural steward.”
Klein approached the campaign as a commentary on personal identity and the activities which consume people’s hours. “It is examining the physical body

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My Man Won’t Commit, Why Not? 8 Critical Questions!

Whether you live in an area chock o’ block full of eligible males or a remote location where single men are scarce, one thing is a given.

Many men are commitment phobic. We won’t delve into the reasons here. They’re unimportant. What we will do is look for signs that he may be the right guy and then discuss tactics to encourage him to commit.

We often use a Mind Acrobatics™ photo that relaxes us as we ponder. Here’s one taken in a city where men are plentiful and women claim “they’re all either married or gay.”

2014-03-28-AB1.jpg
Photo courtesy of Adrianna Bach

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. I believe men and women are wired differently.

Although times and mores have changed, in general men find it much easier to engage in sex without feeling any spiritual or emotional commitment. I know that’s not always the case, but it is the more common scenario, although it’s changed somewhat with the Millennials.

When we meet someone of the opposite sex most often there’s an initial chemical attraction. But as we all know it’s only one ingredient in the complex mosaic of a relationship. Albeit an important one!

Our physical urges often cloud our cognitive reasoning. As a coach I’m so often distressed by the frustration of my clients. They describe a seemingly perfect match, but are unable to move the relationship to the next level.

This is when we engage in a variety of introspective questions to help us clarify the quality of the relationship and its impact on the individual.

These are a just a few of the questions I often ask:

1. “How strong is the physical chemistry on a scale of 0 – 10?”
2.”How comfortable and good does he make you feel about yourself?”
3. “How much of the real “me” do you share when you’re together?”
4.”In an emergency how do you feel he would respond?”
5.”What kind of father would he make?” Even if children are not part of the equation.
6.”What are the three qualities he possesses that you most admire?”
7.”What would your answer be if he asked you to marry him tomorrow?”
8.”What makes him the right man for you?” Describe this in one sentence.

The point of the above is to help you assesses if this is a guy who has as close to
‘it all’
as can be reasonably expected.

If the answer is yes, then there are actions you can take.

Mind Acrobatics Exercise: Is He Mr. Right?

Materials & Time Required

Comfortable clothing
Writing instrument and paper or journal
Comfort Food
Peaceful location to sit or recline
Twenty uninterrupted minutes

Part #1

Take your paper and draw a vertical line down the page.
On the left hand column write “What I like most about (insert name) ”
On the right hand column write “What (insert name) does that frustrates and annoys me most!”

Part #2

1. Make yourself comfortable.
2. Take 5 slow breaths.
3. Munch on your snack.
4. Be aware of the moment and relax. Imagine you are on a tropical isle.

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Photo courtesy of Adrianna Bach

5. For the next 15 minutes write in pure stream of consciousness on both columns.
6. Don’t over think. Don’t censor. Just record whatever comes to mind.
7. Stop when it feels appropriate.
8. Put the list away to look at later.

In a day or two when you have some down time take out the list. Look carefully and cross out all you feel is unimportant to you.

Now with an open mind look at what you have recorded. If you find that the plus column far outweighs the minus column… you’ve got something to work with.

Ask yourself “What do I think is stopping him from taking our relationship further?” What if anything comes to mind?

You may discover there seems to be no logical reason that he doesn’t want to commit.

That’s O.K. and not uncommon.

No, you can’t pressure or cajole a guy into commitment. Yes, you can have a bit of fun and get some valuable insight into your relationship.

Prepare a piece of paper just like above but insert your name in the two columns. The next time you see your guy tell him you just completed a COSMO survey. He’ll believe that:)

Ask him to take it and say you’ll have fun comparing notes later.

Then give him some space.

If he’s a communicative kind of guy he’ll be willing to participate. If he’s not, you’ve got a great clue staring you in the face.

When the time and mood is right enjoy a cup of coffee or glass of wine as you review the exercise together.

When you’re finished, if all goes positively as planned, simply say “that was fun wasn’t it” and move on to another topic or activity.

Say no more about it. Let him ruminate, cogitate and evaluate.

What’s written below is only if you have been dating for some time, feel you really want to test the waters and are willing to accept the results. It’s risky. I suggest speaking with a life coach, therapist or confidant before trying this! If the thought of his possibly breaking up with you is unacceptable absolutely don’t engage in the following!

Game playing… not something I usually advocate… however the results can be revealing!

Call him the next day and say you are aggravated. A family commitment came up and you won’t be available for about a week but look forward to seeing him soon. Set a date and time when you’ll meet.

You are now in control of the destiny of the relationship.

When next you meet, if he’s in the right place for commitment there’s a good chance he will take a step forward in the relationship. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If he doesn’t make a move then he may not be the right guy for you. You can’t be sure though.

Is there a risk he will have found some other woman while you were not available? Absolutely!

However, if he’s ‘the one’ he’ll be chomping at the bit with the realization of just how much he wants you.

After that it’s like all of life, a crap shoot. Hopefully things will progress and he’ll feel comfortable taking the relationship to the next level.

If he doesn’t, take charge of your life. Decide to stick it out for awhile if that works best for you.

Or, don’t be afraid of letting go both physically and emotionally. Move on to a new chapter. Yes it can be scary. But then again it may be a great adventure and who knows what diamond in the rough you may find! Life transformation is invigorating!

I’d like to add one more thought. Relationships usually aren’t easy. They take time, commitment, accommodation and flexibility. But once you’ve reached a decision to leave work diligently at emotionally separating.

It’s much easier to stop seeing someone than it is to keep yourself from ruminating about them. There is no magic pill to simply forget a guy you believed was the love of your life.It may feel agonizing for some time. It goes with the territory of serious dating.

However, you can make an aggressive attempt to put him out of your thoughts. Take control!

Good luck and I hope you find a fulfilling, satisfying relationship with a combination of chemistry, caring and loving.

Consider sharing this article with a daughter, granddaughter, niece or any loved one. It’s never too early to learn how to manage healthy relationships.

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Please feel free to comment and share your experiences. I reply to all article posts.


Excerpted from the forthcoming book: Comfy In My Skin… Transformation From The Inside Out! By Dave Kanegis

Follow Dave Kanegis on Facebook Mind Acrobatics™

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