Tracy McGrady’s basketball fireworks pave way to Hall of Fame

Tracy McGrady’s basketball fireworks pave way to Hall of Fame
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How the Property Brothers Are Using HGTV Fame to Become Household Names

Drew Scott, Jonathan ScottEnter any office waiting room and HGTV is likely being screened. And on those TVs, you’ll likely see identical twins Jonathan Scott and Drew Scott.
The 39-year-olds’ flagship…

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Morten Andersen brings down the house after finally entering Hall of Fame

Morten Andersen brings down the house after finally entering Hall of Fame
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Marc Bouwer’s President and Influencer Paul Margolin Discusses Fleeting Online Fame

IN AN INSTANT: While many know Paul Margolin as the president of Marc Bouwer Inc., even more know him from Instagram. That was until Wednesday when his account was hacked — and gone with it, 46,000 followers.
That was unwelcome news for Margolin, who has worked as a social influencer with such brands as The Underwear Expert, Morphine Lips and the Chappy dating app, among others. When not working in Bouwer’s Fulton Street studio and office, he has been fielding requests from Musefind and WeTrend. More often than not, Margolin posted images with his fiancé Sergio Zapata. The 360-degree drone-shot video of Zapata proposing to Margolin near Bethesda Fountain in Central Park helped to make them a popular InstaCouple.
“My Instagram stories were getting 4,000 views on a story. There is a value to all of it,” Margolin said. “Plus, I just disappeared to everybody. I only followed 350 and I was followed by 46,000.”
In his 20s Margolin ditched a short-lived modeling career to help Bouwer start his company from the designer’s Greenwich Village apartment. A regular at one of Equinox’s downtown club, Margolin often posted photos of his shirtless self. The favorable responses to his fitness-related posts made him consider getting

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Chris Hemsworth: You Don’t Need Fame To Get Your Butt Into Thor-Like Shape

“Being fit is about motivation and action creates motivation,” he says.
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Donkey Kong and Pokemon join gaming hall of fame

Halo: Combat Evolved and Street Fighter II also honoured with places in the permanent exhibition.
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Books of The Times: In ‘Nevertheless,’ Alec Baldwin Charts His Course From Long Island to Bumpy Fame

Mr. Baldwin’s unexpectedly moving new memoir reflects on topics ranging from a directionless childhood to Harrison Ford’s looks.
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Does Tupac belong in Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

Tupac Shakur has become the first solo rapper to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
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Tupac in rock hall of fame 20 years after death

Tupac Shakur is among those to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2017.
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Pearl Jam, Tupac Shakur and Joan Baez Will Join the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

The class of 2017 also includes Journey, Electric Light Orchestra and Yes, and a special honor goes to Chic’s Nile Rodgers.
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Actors Hall of Fame Launching Shakespeare Film and TV Productions for China

The Actors Hall of Fame is launching film and television productions for China starting with William Shakespeare’s plays, Variety has learned exclusively. The initiative is launching with feature versions of “Romeo and Juliet” and a 3D animated feature of “A Midsummer’s Night Dream.” It’s in pre-production on both projects. “We are in talks with a… Read more »

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Fiction: Zadie Smith’s New Novel Takes on Dance, Fame and Friendship

As two girls grow up, and apart, in Zadie Smith’s “Swing Time,” subtle distinctions in family structure and class magnify over time.
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Eleven Bass Players Who Belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

2015-10-08-1444318592-9253506-TomSemioliWhiteBass.jpg

We serve the singer, the song, the soloist, and ultimately the listener. Though we do not possess the harmonic nor sonic range of a guitar, keyboards, voice, horns, wind instruments, nor the dynamics of drums and percussion-the bass player determines how a musical chord actually sounds – which, in essence -often determines whether or not you’ll like the track. Do the math!

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees have been announced and I congratulate all the artists: The Cars, Chic, Chicago, Cheap Trick, Deep Purple, Janet Jackson, The J.B.’s, Chaka Khan, Los Lobos, Steve Miller, Nine Inch Nails, N.W.A., The Smiths, The Spinners, and Yes.

Since the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation began in 1983 there has been much controversy over who belongs and who does not. It’s no different than sports Halls of Fame. Controversy, dispute, and rock ‘n’ roll are siblings, and I accept that. However I must stand up for my woefully neglected bass brethren, some of whom no longer lay down the groove on this mortal coil.

As such, history reveals that when iconic Rock and Roll Hall of Famers fired their signature bass players, their commercial and artistic fortunes waned considerably: Elton John, Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen – who recovered when he re-hired the E Street Band, Billy Joel, Eric Clapton, and Alice Cooper – who dumped his entire original band; among others, were never the same sans their formative four string bandmates.

Obviously there are more than eleven bass players who deserve recognition in the Hall. Based on conversations with my fellow players, musicians, engineers, producers, writers, and vinyl loving devotees, herein are eleven from the classic rock era who must be cited, especially given the fact that they appear on several Rock and Roll Hall of Fame artists’ most important recordings.

This list, in the tradition of Spinal Tap, goes to 11!

Dee Murray: To atone for producer Gus Dudgeon’s curious refusal to utilize his extraordinary road band in the studio until 1972, Elton John released 11-17-70 which is among the essential live albums of any era in rock. Bassist Dee Murray and drummer Nigel Olsson, who, along with guitarist Davey Johnstone, also created the vocal harmonies to Elton’s early classics, distinguished themselves as an elite rhythm section. The original Elton John Band’s absence from the Hall of Fame is inexcusable.

Carl Radle: From the late 1960s until his untimely passing in 1980, bassist Carl Radle’s jaw-dropping resume includes enduring releases by Hall of Famers Eric Clapton, George Harrison, Dr. John, Leon Russell, Buddy Guy, Art Garfunkel, Donovan, and Bob Dylan. Carl’s work on Layla & Other Assorted Love Songs is irreplaceable: every bassist in Slowhand’s subsequent ensembles renders Radle’s lines from that album nearly note-for-note – that’s how extraordinary Carl was!

Kenny Aaronson: Cited as Bassist of the Year in 1988 by Rolling Stone, Kenny is among rock’s most versatile and resourceful players. His career spans scores of seminal sides and concert performances, including Hall of Famers Ronnie Spector, Bob Dylan, Sammy Hagar, Joan Jett, Daryl Hall & John Oates, and one artist whose omission from the Hall is sacrilege: Rick Derringer.

Harvey Brooks: Session bassist and producer Harvey Brooks was the go-to player on the New York studio scene in the 1960s. As the electric bass was essentially in its infancy, Brooks brought his deep understanding of blues, pop, soul, folk, and jazz to the instrument, appearing on such influential albums by Hall of Famers Bob Dylan (Highway 61 Revisited) Miles Davis (Bitches Brew -with Dave Holland), the Doors (Soft Parade), and Al Kooper’s Super Sessions with Mike Bloomfield, to name a few.

John Dalton and Jim Rodford: Behold the missing Kinks! Of the bassists who served Muswell Hill’s favorite sons following the departure of founding member Peter Quaife, John Dalton is likely the one player whom American rock fans heard the most on FM radio by way of “Lola,” “Victoria,” “20th Century Man,” “Celluloid Heroes,” and “Jukebox Music,” among many others from 1969 to 1976. Jim Rodford was a founding member of the progressive pop powerhouse Argent (1969-76) and the longest tenured (1978-96) and most musically adept bassist The Kinks ever employed.

Klaus Voorman: In addition to his brilliant performances on the Beatles’ extensive solo canon, Klaus was a first- call studio bassist for Hall of Famers B.B. King, Donovan, Jerry Lee Lewis, Lou Reed, Randy Newman, and Dion, among others. Voorman’s intro to Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain,” a hit song about another Hall of Famer, is among the most recognizable motifs in the history of pop music.

Herbie Flowers: “Being a bass-player is like being a truck driver…you’re paid to arrive on time and safely at your destination!” His repetitive, major 10th interval glissando created rock’s greatest bassline for Hall of Famer Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side.” With a blue 1960 Fender Jazz which he purchased from Manny’s in New York City for $ 79.00, Herbie Flowers emerged as the quintessential session player in his native UK. His drop-tuning bass on David Essex’s “Rock On,” and riveting counterpoint beneath David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” remain watershed.

Lee Sklar: A session giant with album credits in the thousands, Lee was the foundation for “The Section” – a musical assemblage of Los Angeles based virtuosos who were the catalyst on scores of iconic album and singles sessions. Among the Hall of Famers Lee enhanced include: James Taylor, Ray Charles, Daryl Hall & John Oates, Donna Summer, Jackson Browne, Diana Ross, David Crosby, Graham Nash, and Michael Jackson, among others.

Doug Yule: For all the hipster hosannas heaped upon the Velvet Underground – and deservedly so, one essential member is oft overlooked – bassist Doug Yule, who joined the band upon John Cale’s dismissal in 1968. Unlike Cale, who was indifferent to the instrument, Yule was a fine bass player and singer who complimented Lou’s gravitation from the avant-garde towards the then burgeoning singer-songwriter movement. Though The Velvet Underground & Nico (1967) and White Light/White Heat (1968) were influential, groundbreaking efforts; to my ears Velvet Underground (1969) and Loaded (1970) both with Yule, are the VU’s most enduring works.

Will Lee: Assuming the mantle created by Doc Severinsen’s legendary NBC Orchestra as heard on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson – bandleader Paul Shaffer and bassist Will Lee’s groundbreaking tenure in the World’s Most Dangerous Band for David Letterman’s Late Night and Late Show brought the language of rock, blues, soul, folk, country, jazz fusion, and funk to the Great American Songbook.

Photo of Tom Semioli by Kathena Bryant

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You Can Help Pick This Year’s Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Inductees

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame just announced this year’s nominees for induction into its ranks. The 15 nominees — including Janet Jackson, Nine Inch Nails, The Smiths and Chaka Khan — span many genres, styles and time periods, though to qualify, they have to have released their first album or single at least 25 years ago. 

Here’s the full list of nominees, in alphabetical order:

  • Chicago
  • Cheap Trick
  • Deep Purple
  • The Cars
  • Chaka Khan
  • Chic
  • The J.B.’s
  • Janet Jackson
  • Los Lobos
  • Steve Miller
  • N.W.A.
  • Nine Inch Nails
  • The Smiths
  • The Spinners
  • Yes

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame — located in Cleveland, Ohio — doesn’t have a set number of slots open for induction each year, though a representative said that they usually aim to admit five performers, plus several more in other categories. 

The final list of inductees will be determined by votes from more than 800 musical artists, professionals and historians from around the world; each will be able to select up to five of the nominees. 

In addition, fans everywhere will be able to vote for inductees online — including right here:

The five artists that get the most votes from online fans will be added to a “fans ballot” that will be tallied along with the ballots from the Hall of Fame’s panel.

The names of the inductees will be revealed in December, and the actual induction will take place April 2016 in New York City. 

Also on HuffPost:

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You Can Help Pick This Year’s Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Inductees

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame just announced this year’s nominees for induction into its ranks. The 15 nominees — including Janet Jackson, Nine Inch Nails, The Smiths and Chaka Khan — span many genres, styles and time periods, though to qualify, they have to have released their first album or single at least 25 years ago. 

Here’s the full list of nominees, in alphabetical order:

  • Chicago
  • Cheap Trick
  • Deep Purple
  • The Cars
  • Chaka Khan
  • Chic
  • The J.B.’s
  • Janet Jackson
  • Los Lobos
  • Steve Miller
  • N.W.A.
  • Nine Inch Nails
  • The Smiths
  • The Spinners
  • Yes

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame — located in Cleveland, Ohio — doesn’t have a set number of slots open for induction each year, though a representative said that they usually aim to admit five performers, plus several more in other categories. 

The final list of inductees will be determined by votes from more than 800 musical artists, professionals and historians from around the world; each will be able to select up to five of the nominees. 

In addition, fans everywhere will be able to vote for inductees online — including right here:

The five artists that get the most votes from online fans will be added to a “fans ballot” that will be tallied along with the ballots from the Hall of Fame’s panel.

The names of the inductees will be revealed in December, and the actual induction will take place April 2016 in New York City. 

Also on HuffPost:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




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Sandra Bullock Talks Fame, George Clooney, and the One Thing That Forced Her to Get Her Sh-t Together in November Glamour

Sandra Bullock is on the cover of Glamour this month, where she sits down with her Our Brand Is Crisis costar Zoe Kazan to answer questions about her career, motherhood, how she landed a role…


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Lady Gaga Fame Monster Kids Hoodie

Lady Gaga Fame Monster Kids Hoodie


This Lady Gaga Fame Monster kids hoodie is an original design from My Icon Art. This kids hoodie is available in a wide variety of sizes & colours and is also available in adults hoodies. All hoodies are in stock and ready to ship with free postage within the UK and fast worldwide shipping. This is an original design & is not intended to breach any intellectual properties under UK law. It is 100% unofficial merchandise & is not authorised by any person or group.

Price: $
Sold by Rakuten.co.uk

Hitler and the Nazi Cult of Film and Fame

Hitler and the Nazi Cult of Film and Fame


A shocking, meticulously researched account of Hitlers fantasy of power and stardom. In Nazi Germany, the cult of celebrity was the embodiment of Hitlers style of cultural governance. Hitlers rise to power owed much to the creation of his own celebrity, and the countrys greatest stars, whether they were actors, writers, or musicians, could be one of only two things. If they were compliant, they were lauded and awarded status symbols for the regime; but if they resisted-or were simply Jewish-they were traitors to be interned and murdered. This fascinating analysis offers a shocking portrait of a Hitler shaped by aspirations to Hollywood-style fame, of the correlation between art and ambition, of films used as weapons, and of sexual predilections. The Führer believed he was an artist, not a politician, and in his Germany politics and culture became one. His celebrity was cultivated and nurtured by Joseph Goebbels, Germanys supreme head of culture. Hitler and Goebbels enjoyed the company of beautiful female film stars, and Goebbels had his own “casting couch.” In Germanys version of Hollywood there were scandals, starlets, secret agents, premieres, and party politics. The Third Reich would launch filmmaker and actress Leni Riefenstahl to prominence by making her its own glorifying documentarian, most famously in The Triumph of the Will, the innovative propaganda film starring Hitler and widely considered to be one of the greatest movies ever made. It is no coincidence that Eva Braun, Hitlers longtime partner and wife for the two days leading up to their joint suicide, was a photographer, and in fact shot most of the surviving photographs and film footage of her lover. This book reveals previously unpublished information about the “Hitler film,” which Goebbels envisaged as “the greatest story ever told,” although it was ultimately trumped by the dictators own, real-life Wagnerian finale.19 black-and-white photographs

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Meghan Trainor reflects on rising fame

Meghan Trainor looks back on her career as her video for All About That Bass smashes the one billion mark on Vevo.
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Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum

Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum


Admission to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum Guided tour of Historic RCA Studio B – Nashville’s only historic studio tour Get two packages for you to choose from
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Articles on Halls of Fame in Florida, Including: International Swimming Hall of Fame, World Golf Hall of Fame, United States Show Jumping Hall of Fame, United States Astronaut Hall of Fame, American Police Hall of Fame & Museum

Articles on Halls of Fame in Florida, Including: International Swimming Hall of Fame, World Golf Hall of Fame, United States Show Jumping Hall of Fame, United States Astronaut Hall of Fame, American Police Hall of Fame & Museum


Used – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Hephaestus Books represents a new publishing paradigm, allowing disparate content sources to be curated into cohesive, relevant, and informative books. To date, this content has been curated from Wikipedia articles and images under Creative Commons licensing, although as Hephaestus Books continues to increase in scope and dimension, more licensed and public domai

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Lady Gaga Judas Skull Fame Monster Kids Zip Hoodie

Lady Gaga Judas Skull Fame Monster Kids Zip Hoodie


This Lady Gaga Judas Skull Fame Monster kids zip hoodie is an original design from My Icon Art. This zip hoodie can also be bought in Adults styles and is available in a wide variety of sizes & can be bought in five different colours. All zip hoodies are in stock and ready to ship with free postage within the UK and fast worldwide shipping. This is an original design & is not intended to breach any intellectual properties under UK law. It is 100% unofficial merchandise & is not authorised by any person or group.

Price: $
Sold by Rakuten.co.uk

Rebecca Black: Fame in the Youtube Age

Rebecca Black: Fame in the Youtube Age


Rebecca Black’s video “Friday” was posted on Friday, February 10th 2011. And then everything changed. 5 weeks after posting on YouTube, Rebecca Black had had some 16 million views. Within 6 weeks that number jumped to 35 million views, and the song had been covered by the pop luminary likes of Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers. Rebecca Black: What Comes After Friday? chronicles Rebecca’s sudden rise to fame. Learn the real story behind the creation of the “Friday” music video that became an unforgettable pop culture phenomenon. Look beyond Rebecca Black as an internet icon and learn who she is as a human being.

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Why Sofia Vergara Says She’d Be ‘OK’ With Losing Her Fame

Sofía Vergara is at the pinnacle of her career thanks to a handful of endorsement deals and her role as Gloria in ABC’s Emmy-winning series “Modern Family.” But the Colombian-born actress recently said she never expected to become an actress, much less famous.

Vergara, 42, is set to grace the cover of Cosmo for Latinas’ summer issue, out on newsstands May 19. In her interview with the magazine, the star spoke about why she wouldn’t mind losing her fame, and her experience as a Latina in Hollywood.

The “Modern Family” star has been TV’s highest-paid actress for three consecutive years. But her success, she says, is not something she ever expected or aimed for.

“Sometimes you want fame to go away a little bit, because you want to do normal things,” Vergara told Cosmo For Latinas. “I think I’m old enough that I’ve already enjoyed all of it, so if it goes away, I think I’m still going to be OK. It was never really what I was looking for — it wasn’t even being an actress or being famous — it was just supporting myself and making money and doing a business for myself.”

When asked about her thoughts on the lack of Latinos in Hollywood, the actress said the community should instead focus on the recent success of Golden Globe-winning “Jane The Virgin” star Gina Rodriguez and director Alejandro González Iñárritu’s big win at this year’s Academy Awards.

“There aren’t as many roles for Latinas as we would want there to be, but we shouldn’t be complaining because a Latin girl just won a Golden Globe, a Latin director just won an Oscar,” Vergara told the magazine. “We should be very happy that there are people out there who are doing things and being recognized.”

In an interview with the Los Angeles Times earlier this month, however, Vergara did note that she feels there aren’t enough Latinos behind the scenes writing in Hollywood.

And the actress isn’t wrong about the numbers. “The Latino Media Gap,” a report released last June by Columbia University, found that between 2010 and 2013, only 2 percent of TV writers with a “critical position” were Latino.

“The problem is there aren’t Latin people creating content,” Vergara told the newspaper. “Many of them are doing soap operas. It is a lack of Latin people writing. It’s not the fault I think of an American writer. Usually when you write, you write what you know about. I admire the people who write for Gloria in ‘Modern Family.’ They’re mostly men. Mostly they’ve had wives like Julie Bowen’s character, but they’ve never had a Latin woman.”

For more on Sofia Vergara’s interview, head to Cosmo For Latinas.

sofia cover

sofia

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Tim Gunn Was Surprised By ‘Project Runway’ Fame: ‘I Never Expected To Even Be On Air’

“Make it work” has become to go-to motto on “Project Runway,” but the man behind those now-famous words never expected to be so quotable on the show — or even on the show at all.

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Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum 2014 Wall Calendar: 9780789326324

Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum 2014 Wall Calendar: 9780789326324


Spend your days with some of country music’s most beloved artists. This year’s spectacular lineup of popular stars is featured in alongside vintage favorites in the beautifully produced Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum 2014 Wall Calendar from the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum in
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The Perks of Fame Revealed: A Second Piece of Costco Sample Sausage

2014-07-02-ScreenShot20140702at12.56.57PM.png

You’ve been to Costco, right? You’ve seen the people who set up a stand and give away samples of meatballs or fish sticks or crab dip, right? You know that the people giving out the samples will often say if you ask for a second sample: “I’m sorry, but it’s just one sample per customer,” right? Well, before I tell you about the magical time I got a second piece of Aidell’s sausage from the woman handing out the samples at Costco, I must tell you this first…

I’M FAMOUS: During the spring of 1999, more than 2 million people per night tuned in to watch me on TV. That is, assuming you understand the word “me” to mean… Craig Kilborn. You see, I was one of the original writers on the Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn… and was frequently featured on air, in one comedy bit or another. In retrospect, I use the term “comedy” loosely. Anyway, why was I featured? Was it because I had some particular comic gift? Or because I agreed to work for less than scale? Of course not. You see, there’s a rule in show business that a handsome, glib, 30-something, blond-haired white man can not occupy the TV screen ALONE for more than 12 consecutive minutes — it has something to do with a fear of aryans among the early Jews who invented show business. Seriously. Think about it. During Entertainment Tonight‘s salad years, do you ever recall seeing John Tesh alone on screen? Of course not. They only told you Mary Hart was there because she had great legs. Go back and watch 90210. There’s a reason you never saw Ian Ziering do Shakespeare’s “Alas, poor Yorick” monologue. And it wasn’t because he’s a crummy actor. Although, he is. Moving on. In my case, the only salve powerful enough to undermine Craig’s pristine looks and mid-western charm was the frequent, awkward appearances of his shlubby, red-haired, Jew-from-Long-Island writer.

HAVARTI VS. GOUDA: During my near two years at the Late Late Show, I appeared on TV two or three times a month, give or take. I was frequently featured in the show’s signature piece, The Five Questions. In case you don’t recall, the first guest on any episode was asked five questions in a quiz-like format at the end of their interview. Correct answers were indicated with a “bell” sound. Incorrect answers were indicated by a “buzzing” sound. Only here’s the thing, most of the questions were just the guest’s opinion. For example: Which cheese sounds funnier: Havarti or Gouda? Or, Which Disney character is more likely to be secretly gay: Goofy or Pluto? Anyway, I had been writing the bulk of these questions for months and when I got to “Gruyere”, I realized I was now out of funny sounding cheeses. Cheddar isn’t funny, right? Well, cheddar that was the only cheese I had left, so I suddenly needed a new type of question. Out of shear desperation, I submitted to Craig: “Would you give our writer, Jon Hotchkiss a hug?” I didn’t think Craig would go for it… but he did.

Over the course of several weeks, I got hugs from Cheech Marin, the supermodel Kathy Ireland, several other super models, and about a dozen “B-list” celebrities promoting their guest-starring role on that week’s NCIS. Given all the hooting and laughter as I nuzzled the lead guest, the audience seemed to like this bit. However, upon further reflection, it now dawns on me that the audience wasn’t laughing at the scripted delight I seemingly took from exaggerating an awkwardly long hug with a gorgeous famous stranger, but rather, the audience was laughing because the gorgeous famous celebrity was awkwardly forced to hug the shlubby writer, who in terms of looks, was clearly below their exalted station. Yes. Being on TV felt a bit like starring in a Disney movie. Unfortunately, it was Beauty And The Beast.

Anyway, not only did I get to hug supermodels, I was also featured in a bit at the top of the show with just Craig. Back in 1999, comedy improv had taken the world by storm thanks to the huge popularity of Whose Line Is It Anyway?. So, in an effort to capture and delight some of that comedy improv audience, I wrote a bit for Craig and I. Craig would sit at the desk. I would sit beside him. In my hands, I held a fish bowl. Inside the bowl were slips of paper. Craig would do some kind of set up where he’d say something like:

“Improv has become very popular. And I would like to show off some of my improv skills. Sitting beside me is one on my writers, Jon Hotchkiss. Now, Jon, you and I have never met, is that right?”

People would laugh. I would follow up with: “No Craig, that’s not right. I’m one of the writers. We see each other all the time.”

This got a bigger laugh. At least, that’s how I remember it. Craig would continue:

“Jon, you are holding a fish bowl. Inside the fishbowl are some suggestions for me to improvise. I have not seen these suggestions, is that correct?” On TV, I would say he hadn’t seen the suggestions — although, in reality, he had. But, more on that in a moment. Next, Craig would ask me to reach in the bowl and take out one of the slips of paper and read it. I would stick my hand in the bowl and vigorously mix the slips of paper — none of which really had anything written on them. I would pull out the first suggestion and remember the line I had rehearsed, “Things You Don’t Want To Hear Your Caterer Say At Your Daughter’s Wedding.” Craig would repeat the set-up and then as the lights dimmed, Craig would “go into a trance” — in order to think up a few things he wouldn’t want to hear a caterer say at his daughter’s wedding. When the lights came back up, Craig — miraculously, as if by magic — would rattle off a few jokes that he had improvised — “just thought up.” Right. That. Second. While he was in the trance.

“We’re out of KY Jelly,” is a joke I just thought up. You would not want to hear the cater at your daughter’s wedding say “KY Jelly.” Then, after I read the third suggestion Craig would again go into a trance… only this time, he would “REALLY” concentrate… he would scrunch his face, grimace like he was really thinking… then, abruptly break the trance, shout to the director to turn the lights on… He would fumpher and stammer a bit — clearly, something was wrong. In a stage whisper, he would indicate to me that he was having some trouble… I would then gesture with my eyes that he should look off to the right… When that didn’t get his attention, I “surreptitiously” gestured with my forefinger for him to look off stage… At that moment, the camera would cut from Craig — so the audience could see — to reveal a guy off screen holding a three foot tall cue card. On top of the cue card in five-inch high letters in black ink was written the same set up I had just read off the slip of paper. And underneath, in a bullet pointed list, were two or three jokes for Craig to tell — as if he had just thought them up. Next to the cue card guy were two more cards, which had the jokes from the first two set-ups. The audience laughed at our “cleverness” and the TV academy gave us both Emmy awards. At least, that’s the story I tell my kids.

A SECOND PIECE OF SAUSAGE: OK. So. On the day I head to the local Costco I had been featured on the Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn perhaps 12 or 15 times already. As I’m shopping, I see about six people behind a couple of tables. On the tables are about 12 crock-pots. Inside each crock-pot is a silver-dollar-sized slice of Aidell’s sausage. Each crock-pot has in front of it a sign indicating which sausage sample you’ll be given on the end of a toothpick. When it’s my turn, I walk up to a girl whose likely in her mid-20s. I ask to sample the apple sausage. She opens the crock-pot, stabs a piece with the end of a toothpick and hands it to me. I eat it. Then, I say to the same girl, “Can I also try the spicy one?” She looks at me and gently says: “I’m sorry, it’s just one sample per customer.” I shake my head with disappointment and as I turn to walk away, she says: “Hold it. Have I seen you on TV?” I turn back and sheepishly admit that it’s possible, depending on what she’s watching. She says: “You’re on the Craig Kilborn Show. You do that improv bit with Craig, right?” Her recognizing me pleases me to no end. Why? Not because she thinks I’m “famous,” but rather because I was under the assumption that Craig’s only viewers were prison inmates. With our bond now established, she gestures for me to lean in and then whispers “OK. You can have a second piece of sausage.”

TA-DAH!

Amazeballs, right?

A second piece of sausage.

BREAST IMPLANTS: After thanking her several times for her generosity and for watching the show, I continued on my shopping way, where I’m suddenly confronted with a realization that had previously been somewhat ephemeral. Although at that point in my show business career, I had worked on many shows, been around many celebrities, I don’t think I was so keenly aware of the charmed and uniquely frictionless life lead by famous people. Who would have guessed that the definition of “famous” was so malleable that it could be stretched to include: “appeared 12 to 15 times in bits on a late night talk show.” We all know that famous people don’t have to wait on line at crowded restaurants… they fly first class on the airplane… and they get out of speeding tickets — assuming they show the cops their breast implants. And not just actresses. Tom Arnold and Wilfred Brimley, too. But, even better than all of those perks, even if Aidell the Sausage King’s sample policy is just one per customer, when you’re famous, you can get a second piece of sausage.

Jon Hotchkiss is the creator of the new series, This vs That, a show featuring leading scientists that reveals the answers to questions like: “What’s the fastest way to load 100 passengers onto a 757?” You’re invited to see the series premiere, FREE by clicking here.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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