"Jersey Shore" Parenting Playbook: Snooki, JWoww & More

Deena Cortese prepares to join Snooki, JWoww & Ronnie in parenthood–here's what the "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" stars have learned!
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Ana Gasteyer’s Parenting Tweets Are Hilarious

Ana Gasteyer knows the good, bad and ugly sides of raising kids today.

The “Saturday Night Live” alum has a 14-year-old daughter, Frances, and a 9-year-old son, Ulysses. She often vents her parenting frustrations and shares hilarious stories and musings on Twitter.

In honor of Gasteyer’s 50th birthday Thursday, we’ve rounded up her funniest, wisest and most spot-on parenting tweets. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Mom Draws The Trials And Tribulations Of Parenting In Hilarious Cartoons

Ali Solomon has been drawing cartoons since she was a child. As she grew up, her characters have aged alongside her, so once Solomon became a mom, it was only natural they would become parents as well.

A middle school art teacher and freelance illustrator, Solomon lives in Queens, New York and has two daughters, ages 3 and 5. She draws comics about the trials and tribulations of parenting for her blog, Wiggle Room

“I was way too tired to create a baby book, but my cartoons and blog became a sort of record of my kids’ life moments, from heartfelt to completely bonkers. Also, it gave me an outlet to help manage the insanity of having a newborn,” Solomon told The Huffington Post. 

“I’d love to be able to capture not just the relatable everyday stuff, but the absurd, undignified, or magical aspects of parenting,” she added. “For example, recently my daughter stamped red ink all over me, which, contrary to the product’s claims, doesn’t wash off skin. For days, people avoided me, thinking I had a face tattoo, a contagious rash, or had applied my make-up blindfolded. Naturally I turned it into a comic. “

Solomon said she hopes other parents relate to her cartoons and feel entertained. “Parenting can be exasperating and isolating. There’s comfort in knowing that other people have similar experiences.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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What John Legend And Chrissy Teigen Learned In One Year Of Parenting

It’s a big day for John Legend and Chrissy Teigen. Their daughter, Luna Simone Stephens, turns 1 today!

What a year it’s been for the couple, who have opened up about parenting experiences like sleep deprivation, postpartum depression and shaming― on and off social media.

Happy birthday, Luna Simone!

A post shared by John Legend (@johnlegend) on

In honor of Luna’s birthday, we’ve rounded up some of her famous parents’ standout quotes about raising kids. Keep scrolling for some reflective, hilarious and always real thoughts on parenting from John Legend and Chrissy Teigen. 

On birth:

“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers too.” ― Chrissy

On the pressure to “bounce back”:

“Anyone in the public eye, we have all the help we could ever need to be able to shed everything. So I think people get this jaded sensation that everybody’s losing [pregnancy weight] so quickly, but we just happen to be the ones who are out there. We have nutritionists, we have dietitians, we have trainers, we have our own schedules, we have nannies. We have people who make it possible for us to get back into shape. But nobody should feel like that’s normal, or like that’s realistic.” ― Chrissy

A post shared by John Legend (@johnlegend) on

On being a new parent:

“It just takes over your life when you have a child … I spent a lot of time at home with her for the first three months and with my wife, you know, it just humbles you. I think everyone struggles with being a new parent, everyone’s trying to figure it out and I think it’s a humbling process.” ― John

On shaming:

“Funny there’s no dad-shaming. When both of us go out to dinner, shame both of us so Chrissy doesn’t have to take it all. We’ll split it.” ― John

“I know that when I post something, if she’s in a car seat, I’ve got to be ready for the million people telling me she’s in the car seat wrong, even though she’s in there correctly. At this point, I know what they’re going to say before they say it. If I’m holding her while I’m cooking, or if I’m holding her within 10 feet of a stove top, I’ve kind of just come to expect it.” ― Chrissy

“Photos are literally split-second moments in time that evolve. I despise mommy shamers. I am a proud shamer of mommy shamers.” ― Chrissy

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

On equal parenting:

“[There are] a lot of people that still think it’s a woman’s job to do the child rearing. I think it’s something we should share.” ― John

On breastfeeding:

“I just think it’s so funny. Sometimes I’m Googling how to do it better. I’m like, ‘Is it working? Is it taking? I don’t think I’m feeling enough pain!’ You just get so confused about how it’s supposed to feel, and as hard as anyone said it was, I feel like it somehow managed to be harder.” ― Chrissy

“They just use you for your milk and you just feel like you are just a cow all day.” ― Chrissy

“Just spray tanned around my breast pump outline. The logistical challenges of a healthy beach glow while boobing are incredible.” ― Chrissy 

have you ever seen a more "why me?" face

A photo posted by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

On postpartum depression:

“Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful. My lower back throbbed; my ­shoulders — even my wrists — hurt. I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me … I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: ‘Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom.’” ― Chrissy

“You don’t see it coming. You’re not emotionally prepared for someone that’s going through a dark time as you’re welcoming this new life. When you don’t understand what’s happening, it’s a bit challenging to figure it out and you don’t know if it’s something you’ve done or some other ­reason why she’s not feeling well. Once you understand what the reasons are then it makes perfect sense and you can adjust accordingly.” ― John

“You should read about it and understand what it is and really just be there to help. You need to be present and you need to be compassionate. And we’re all learning and trying to figure it out as we go. At least do that and try to figure it out together.” ― John

Back on set for #lipsyncbattle season 3B!

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

On watching your baby grow up:

“I love seeing Luna grow and develop. I love all the new things that happen every week, every day even. And I LOVE when she smiles!” ― John

“I want to work less now, you know? I want to be home more, and be able to just help my wife with whatever she needs. Also, just be there to experience [Luna] growing up. I want to take them on tour. I want to be around.” ― John

On “doing it all”:

“My mom lives with us. I have hair and makeup people. I’m not getting up and doing all this by myself. If I’m not being done for something, I’m not going anywhere. A lot of hands go into it. We have help. It’s important for people to know that.” ― Chrissy

6 months old!

A post shared by John Legend (@johnlegend) on

On sleep:

“My biggest parenting conundrum: why it is so hard to put someone who is already sleepy to sleep?” ― Chrissy

“When Luna is awake I want her to sleep and when she is asleep I want her awake. This is my parenting life.” ― Chrissy

On date night:

“I’m not kidding, I go there not to watch a movie, I go there to sleep. I order food, lay on my side and shovel it into my mouth. I get the blanket and lay there and he watches the movie and I am passed out.” ― Chrissy

On hopes for the future:

“Just having the product of our love right in front of us, it’s a really powerful thing. I feel the responsibility that comes with that. We want to raise her into a great human being and hopefully, we can do that. It makes you kind of reprioritize what matters the most to you, and think about the kind of world you want to raise your daughter in.” ― John

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Style – The Huffington Post
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The Walking Dead’s Alanna Masterson Shares Her Parenting Advice for Costar Christian Serratos

From mommy to mommy-to-be, The Walking Dead‘s Alanna Masterson is sharing her advice for costar Christian Serratos, who recently revealed she’s expecting her first child.

Masterson, who welcomed her first child in 2015, says parenting is all about “balance.”

“Balance, and having a really good partner who’s there for you and is able to take care of your kid when you’re working,” she told PEOPLE on the PaleyFest event for the hit AMC show in Hollywood on Friday. 

The 28-year-old, who is mom to daughter Marlowe, 1, with longtime boyfriend Brick Stowell, adds it was tough to return to work after giving birth.

 FROM COINAGE: Ask Yourself These Questions Before You Buy A Home

“It’s super hard being away from your kid, like you don’t quite understand it until you do it and it’s sad and you’re like, ‘Oh man, I’m missing out on so much,’ ” she says. “But I grew up in a household with a super, super hard working mother and she showed me what hard work gets you and I hope that Marlowe can look at me and admire me for that.”

Serratos, 26, showed off her baby bump for the first time on Friday, wearing an off-the-shoulder black dress and floral-detailed high heels.

The pregnancy announcement comes three years after Serratos started dating boyfriend, New Politics singer David Boyd. A source tells PEOPLE, “They’re extremely happy and have been looking forward to starting a family.”


PEOPLE.com

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Pooch Hall on Parenting a Daughter with Cerebral Palsy: ‘I Want Her to Have as Much Normalcy as Possible’

Pooch Hall is a self-proclaimed “family man” — and that commitment is lived out both on and off screen.

Hall’s new movie Media — which premieres on TV One on Saturday — explores the drama and secrets behind a powerful family dynasty. In the film, Hall, 40, plays the hot-headed but protective eldest brother of the powerful Jones family, who is battling the competitive challenges of keeping their status and position in the communications industry.

“My character has a little bit of Godfather dynamic, as far as making sure his family is good,” Hall, 40, tells PEOPLE about his role. “The Jones family is about unity, strength, power and understanding how to stay on top. I hope when people watch Media, they walk away with a new definition of what it’s like to be a not so perfect but proud African American.”

Hall says doubling as an actor and living life as a family man with four children — Djanai, 18, Djordan, 8, Djaeda, 10, and Djulian, 14 months — is never easy. “As far as me, being an actor and a family man in this world that we are working in … it’s never going to be easy,” he says.

But when it comes to the parallels between the fictional Jones family and the real-life Hall family, he quips, “Both families aren’t playing around.”

Hall’s eldest daughter, Djanai, has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. In support of their daughter and other special needs children, Hall and his wife, Linda, created the non-profit inClusion ClubHouse, where children with developmental disabilities can learn and play. Their ClubHouse will include five key spaces, including an arts and crafts “creation station” and a multi-sensory experience room.

“I want my daughter to have as much normalcy as possible. And other parents, who really wish they can have this for their daughter, or son, where they experience and exercise their normalcy in the world that we live in. … It’s real work,” he says about his family’s efforts to support the special needs community.

Hall also shares that he is excited for Djanai to be treated with equality at the ClubHouse. “I think I’m mostly excited about her being equal and her being like, You know what, I’m equal,” Hall explains. “My daughter, Djanai, is not looking at herself as I’m different. She will go, Okay, I’m part of this world and I am equal. She’s not looking at as far as I can’t walk or talk. My daughter is super fun, super dope.”

When the Ray Donovan actor isn’t filming, he says he spends as much time as possible with his family. And the ClubHouse, which is opening soon in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley, will be a new space for focusing on family fun.

He adds that his Media cast has been extremely supportive of his family’s endeavor: “It’s crazy how much support I get. … I’ve been blessed.”

On Sunday, March 5, Hall and his wife will host a Celebrity Karaoke Night in L.A. to benefit their organizations, with proceeds going towards helping them continue offering much-needed programs for children with special needs and towards a building fund to open inClusion ClubHouse.

Media premieres Feb. 25 (8 p.m. ET) on TV One.


PEOPLE.com

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These Honest ‘Parenting Support’ Cards Say What Parents Really Need To Hear

There are greeting cards that congratulate new parents and parents-to-be on their growing families. So it makes sense that there should also be cards that acknowledge breast pumping, sleep deprivation and the other trials of raising children.

This week, greeting card designer Emily McDowell launched a new line of “Parenting Support” cards. The line features cards with messages like “You’re not a monster. Parenting is really hard” and “Hang in there, you’re doing great.”

”Parenting is really hard, and yet it’s frowned upon to publicly admit anything about it that could be perceived as negative, because of the fear that we’ll be judged as not loving our children enough, or pegged as a ‘bad mom,’” McDowell told The Huffington Post

“There’s a well-worn set of cultural expectations about how parents are supposed to feel about the experience of parenting, and women in particular get hammered with it, both from other people and within ourselves,” she added. “When reality doesn’t live up to those expectations, we end up with tremendous guilt and shame, and secretly concluding that ‘there must be something wrong with me’ ― which of course isn’t true.”

McDowell is a stepparent to an 11-year-old boy and also has two very young godsons. She told HuffPost her godsons’ mother has been her best friend for 25 years and served as “unofficial consultant” for her “Parenting Support” cards. 

The designer said she wants her cards to have an impact on people in the throes of parenting.  

“I hope parents who receive these cards (or even see them!) can feel a sense of relief and reassurance that they’re not failing, they’re not alone, and it’s totally normal and OK to both love your kid and have complicated feelings about being a mom or dad,” McDowell explained.

”Someone commented on my Instagram last week that she’d bought herself a whole set of our Empathy Cards (for serious illness and loss), not to send out, but to keep and look at when she wanted to feel understood,” she added. “I hope these can serve a similar purpose for parents.”

McDowell has three “Parenting Support” cards available on her website and is currently in the process of creating more. The next batch will focus on the way your relationship with your partner changes after having kids, issues of identity struggles and finding humor in parenting situations, from caring for infants to raising teenagers.

Said McDowell, “This is a hugely broad topic, and I’m really looking forward to finding different ways to look at it.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Style – The Huffington Post
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Parenting for children, Exploding Brain, illustration Greeting Card

Parenting for children, Exploding Brain, illustration Greeting Card


5 x 7 Paper Greeting Card
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Parenting: Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth

Parenting: Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth


THE ONLY PREGNANCY RESOURCE YOU’LL EVER NEED! For the past decade, Parenting magazine has gained the loyal readership of smart, involved parents by getting to the heart of what moms and dads need to know about raising a child. Now Parenting, with an advisory board of leading experts, have created a comprehensive sourcebook to give parents-to-be-and their newborns-the best start possible. The Parenting Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth takes you from conception through the first weeks of a baby’s life. Here is up-to-the minute information on: What’s Going on in Your Body: Common changes Tips for a good night’s sleep When to call the doctor Pregnancy and sexWhat’s Going on in Your Head: Mood swings Miscarriage fears Ways to feel your best How Baby Grows: Trimester-by-trimester look at fetal development First flutters and kicks PrematurityCheckups and Tests: Choosing a caregiver All about prenatal tests Genetic counseling Eating and fitness: sensible weight gain Sneaking in nutrients Foods to avoid Exercise basics Getting your body back after pregnancySpecial Situations: Multiple births Placenta problems Gestational diabetes Older mom Bed rest The breech babyThe Big Day: Why every labor is different Pain management Stage of labor Epidural pros and cons Cesarean birthPlus: Work Concerns Newborn basics Naming baby Travel tips Real moms’ advice stories Handy checklists And much more!

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Toddlers First Steps: A Best Chance Guide to Parenting Your 6 to 36 Month-Old Child 2nd Edition

Toddlers First Steps: A Best Chance Guide to Parenting Your 6 to 36 Month-Old Child 2nd Edition


Toddlers First Steps: A Best Chance Guide to Parenting Your 6 to 36 Month-Old Child 2nd Edition
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Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Also on HuffPost:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Comedy – The Huffington Post
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‘Overwhelming’ Evidence That Same-Sex Parenting Won’t Harm Kids

Review of thousands of studies on the issue finds broad consensus among experts
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Pregnancy: What to Expect When You are Planning for a Baby- Women – Birth – Baby Books – New Born Babies – New Born Baby – Baby Care – Child Care – Kids – Parenting – Parents – Accessories

Pregnancy: What to Expect When You are Planning for a Baby- Women – Birth – Baby Books – New Born Babies – New Born Baby – Baby Care – Child Care – Kids – Parenting – Parents – Accessories


Pregnancy – Pregnant – Women – Babies: Are you Interested In Pregnancy & Childbirth? Are you Pregnant? Would you like to prepare yourself for Motherhood? If so you are about to discover and learn the fundamental points in becoming a mother and what to expect whilst you are in pregnancy! *Learn about a new born baby’s mood swings and sleep patterns *Learn the different cry sounds babies make to communicate with their parents *Discover what types of foods to serve your new born child *Find out what is the best baby clothes required for your newborns first few months *Also learn about what baby bottles are needed and much more All over the world Medical groups and doctors are recommending that all hopeful parents to be plan for their baby-giving at least a two or three month time period before they even attempt to try. In our top baby book (Pregnancy: What to Expect whilst you’re Pregnant) we guide want-to-be mums and dads step-by-step through the preconception (and conception) process. Everything you need to know is all here. All the important things couples need to know before a sperm and egg connect. Our eBook guide is packed with reassuring practical and empathic information & advice that all readers should come to expect but only much earlier. What to Expect When You are Planning for a Baby is the ideal and easiest to follow baby book for parents who wish to plan and have a new baby and we suggest it is the type of book that every expecting parents should have in their book collection.

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Dirty Fingers Baby Pride Lgbt Parenting Baby Unisex T-Shirt

Dirty Fingers Baby Pride Lgbt Parenting Baby Unisex T-Shirt


An original design from Dirty Fingers that has been lovingly printed on to a 100% cotton Baby T-Shirt, just for your child. Each garment is twin stitched, own labelled, tagged and bagged. 100% Cotton Machine Wash 40 Do not iron directly on to motif All garments picked and packed with love and care by Dirty Fingers

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Adoption and Parenting: The Ultimate Insider Guide to a Successful Adoption Process

Adoption and Parenting: The Ultimate Insider Guide to a Successful Adoption Process


It is no secret why some adoptive parents hide the information about the parents of their adopted child, well; your guess is as good as mine! …they don’t want the child to feel left out or unwanted. However, there are ways to take care of this. You will get details as you get hold of this book! For example explaining to the child that their natural parents gave them up to provide them with a better home….Yes, I know, because I am a parent, that the thought of having a child in your life is one that many people are excited about. However, you do need to carefully think about the adoption process for you to understand if it’s okay for you. There are many things to consider before you will be able to decide if it is right for you or not. Just get the book and find out… In fact, you may need to answer these questions sincerely…Do you enjoy being around children? If so, do you like them once they get older? The truth is that many people love the idea of having a baby in the home but don’t ever forget they will grow someday …!There are these days so many online adoption scams that normally seem very legitimate, but are not! In fact, some people have been in contact with what they think are young pregnant girls looking for a home for their child. After paying a ton of money, they then find out there was no baby at all. Don’t fall for such scam, read this book and you will be enlightened how to go about your planned adoption strategies.

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X-Treme Parenting: A Baby Blues Treasury

X-Treme Parenting: A Baby Blues Treasury


   Nothing is certain but death and taxes. And laundry. -Baby Blues proverb   When the recipe box has more pizza coupons than recipes, or for those parenting days when all you seem to accomplish is brushing your hair and making a tray of ice cubes, Baby Blues offers parental fatigue redemption. The brainchild of Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott, this Baby Blues treasury features cartoons from Briefcase Full of Baby Blues and Night Shift.   From prophetic Baby Blues proverbs like, The grass is always greener on the knees of your kid''s new white pants, to Dinner Table Olympics where Synchronized Whining is the main event, young parents Darryl and Wanda keep pace with energetic children Zoe, Hammie, and baby Wren, as Kirkman and Scott expertly navigate the daily nuances of newborns, nocturnal diaper changes, and the nirvana of family life.
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Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Read last week’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week and browse all past collections here.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Happy Chaos: From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures in Between

Happy Chaos: From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures in Between


Enthusiastic, spunky, and positive, Punky Brewster was the quintessential eighties kid. Nearly thirty years later, Soleil Moon Frye-the adorable girl who played her on TV-is all grown up. Now she’s a married mom of two, an entrepreneur who parlayed her successful kids’ clothing line into a partnership with Target, and a social media whiz with millions of followers. Many of the same girls who watched Soleil on television are now grown up with children of their own, too, and they look to her as a go-to source for realistic, in-the-trenches parenting advice, inspiration, and fun. Happy Chaos invites those women into Soleil’s world, and makes them revel in the chaos of their own lives, too. Soleil believes that “happy chaos” is the sign of a family operating at its best-when parents accept that they’ll make mistakes, that there will be messes, tears and skinned knees. She learned to love a jumbled life during her own childhood, when her own mom created an atmosphere that was thoroughly unconventional. Their house in Los Angeles was a haven for many young stars of Soleil’s generation, often far from home and looking for a safe place to hang out. In this book, she shows how her happy but chaotic childhood informed her parenting: Each chapter begins with a telling reminiscence before moving into insightful advice and fun stories about life with her husband and two adorable daughters.

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Why Oprah Believes Parenting Is a “Sacred Calling” – Oprah’s Lifeclass – OWN

Tune in Sunday, September 21, at 9/8c on OWN.
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Dr. Shefali Tsabary says that after her first appearance on Oprah’s Lifeclass, questions from parents kept pouring in. Now, Dr. Shefali, author of The Conscious Parent, speaks directly to parents in the Lifeclass Social Lab. “The intention here is to understand why it is that we react to our children the way we do,” she says. “Because we all are longing for that connection with our children.”

Watch as Dr. Shefali reveals the two things every parent wants. Plus, Oprah shares her thoughts on parenthood.

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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Families in Parenting Crisis – Oprah’s Lifeclass – OWN

Tune in Sunday, September 21, at 9/8c on OWN.
SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1vqD1PN

Oprah welcomes Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children, once again for an enlightening conversation with families who are in the midst of a parenting crisis.

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

Discover OWN TV:
Find OWN on you TV!: http://bit.ly/1wJ0ugI
Our Fantastic Lineup: http://bit.ly/1qMi2jE

Connect with OWN Online:
Visit the OWN WEBSITE: http://bit.ly/1qMi2jE
Like OWN on FACEBOOK: http://on.fb.me/1AXYujp
Follow OWN on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/1sJin8Y
Follow OWN on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/LnqzMz
Follow OWN on PINTEREST: http://bit.ly/1u0CqR6

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Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Read last week’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week
Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Read More
Last Week’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week
This Washington Monument Replica Looks Like Something Slightly Less Patriotic
Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways — so we like to round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.

This week, we’re so happy to welcome guest curator, Melissa Sher, a Best Parenting Tweets veteran with a knack for humor who speaks the truth about parenthood on her blog, Mammalingo, and right here on HuffPost Parents. Read her selections below, and follow @HuffPostParents and @thismelissasher on Twitter for more!

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Read More
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Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

10 Jobs I’m Now Qualified for Since Adding Parenting to My Resume

Although I’ve been home with my kids for the last 5 years, I have never thought of my situation as a permanent break from the workforce.

Don’t get me wrong; I have absolutely no regrets with my current at-home position. I love being able to be here at this stage in the game, and I’m so grateful to be in a position to do it. However, there are some aspects that I miss though that come with having a career outside of the home, like the adult interaction, for example. That’s one of the main reasons I started blogging.

Conversations with my then 5, 3, and 1 year old kids could only take an adult so far. You start to realize that your brain needs another level of engagement when you seriously start getting sassy with Dora and answering, “The Map! It’s the #@%$ Map again!”

Next year my youngest will be starting all day Kindergarten, so recently I’ve been thinking about what I’ll be doing with my free time while all three kids are in school all day. Will I finally have more time for my writing? Should I attempt to rejoin the workforce? Will I just be sitting around in my PJ pants, eating bon-bons and watching soap operas?

Each scenario clearly has its benefits.

Thinking through this a little further I wondered, What would I do if I did return to the workforce? Would I go back to corporate training (which was my last gig), or perhaps I could try something new? My initial concern was with my five year resume gap, but then, as I thought about parenting as a job itself, I realized that it has given me all kinds of new skills! In fact, should I decide to return to work, I’d have many new career opportunities to choose from thanks to all the new qualifications I’ve developed since becoming a parent.

2014-05-15-10JobsthatImNowQualifiedforsinceIaddedParentingtomyresume.jpg

1. Cruise Director
From the time my kids were old enough to sit up on their own, even before they were able to speak, I’ve been getting the look that says, “Entertain me!” Of course, now they are old enough to speak, and unless it’s allotted screen time, I usually have at least one kid per 20 minutes audibly expressing their boredom and their need to tell me they don’t know what to do. I can’t say they always like my suggestions. So whether cruise activities were swimming, playing shuffle board, or cleaning their own cabins, this cruise director can always find something to do.

2. Hostage Negotiator
You may think I’m being dramatic, or that there would be no way that without proper training I could be qualified for a job like this, but if your entire family has ever been held up because your toddler refuses to put on pants so you can all go enjoy the zoo, park, or any other activity that society requires be done while wearing pants, then you know exactly what I’m saying. Sure, you’re the parent and you could just make her put on the darn pants, but then there’s crying, yelling, and other unpleasantries that I prefer to avoid before even stepping out the door. The key, of course, is making her think that you’re on her side, and that you just want to help her. You gain her trust, speak in a soothing tone, and make her believe that wearing pants is her idea. After a standoff that lasts minutes, but feels like hours, she gives up and puts on pants! A win for the good guys! Until she says she has to pee…

3. Animal Trainer
I don’t mean to brag, but my kids are pretty much house trained. They nearly always pee in, on, or around a toilet. They will sit on command, especially if I’m offering a treat, and my kids will also even lay down when I (repeatedly) give the command (200 times) each night at bedtime. I know, it’s amazing, and it’s all thanks to my stellar training skills. I’m pretty sure this qualifies me to train just about any other kind of domesticated animal.

4. Circus Ring Leader
Not only do I have the skills to train animals, I am also able to run my house like a three kid, three ringed family circus. My house guests marvel at my ability to tame the savage toddler. They gasp as simultaneously another child in the next ring (room) paints the dog’s face like a clown’s, all while the third kid walks the tightropes that are my nerves by asking 9000 times if he can play video games. The floors resemble those that you’d find under a big top too, with a variety of snacks like popcorn and peanut shells. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think from all the stomping up and down the steps that we were housing elephants too. If I really wanted to pull out all the stops, I am also able to double as the Bearded Lady if given a few weeks notice.

5. Chauffeur
This one requires little explanation to anyone with children. Whether it’s school, extracurricular activities like sports or scouts, birthday parties, doctor’s appointments, or wherever your unlicensed youth need to go, it can sometimes feel like you’re living in your car. I even keep snacks and drinks, along with books for entertainment … for myself. Personally, I think I’d make a great professional driver since I’m already always in the car, my record is clear of accidents and violations, and at this point adding a fare device to charge a fee only seems fair.

6. Harry Potter House Elf
Just like a House Elf from Harry Potter, I am immensely devoted to the family which I serve. I work tirelessly for them, but unlike a Harry Potter House Elves, who can only be freed if their masters give them clothing, I can only be freed by the gift of clean clothing. Alas, a House Mom only truly becomes free once her masters start doing their own laundry. Looks like I’ve got a while left to serve. Although this isn’t a job I’d look for in the workforce, I’m unfortunately over-qualified for the no-pay position.

7. Sewer Inspector
I think that most people, regardless of their experience level with children, go into parenting with the expectation that it’s messy at times. But until you’re actually in it, you have no idea how far that actually goes, and how you may never look at a bathroom the same way again — particularly after potty training. Once kids are potty trained, however, you’re not off the hook. I’ve retrieved items from toilets that include, but are not limited to: large wads of toilet paper, entire rolls of toilet paper, cardboard toilet paper rolls, HotWheels, Matchbox Cars, army men, plastic dinosaurs, a whole banana, tennis ball, sock, coins, underwear, Legos, and a variety of plastic undersea animals. My toilet-fishing abilities might also qualify me for a spot on The Deadliest Catch, or at the very least, a spin off, The Nastiest Catch.

8. Bug Breeder
I had never really sat down and thought about where people get mail order bugs, but if I had to guess, I bet some of them like the kind people buy for ant farms, come from families with young children. At one point my family had cut out the middle man and had our own pet ants, much to my dismay (they left crackers under the doormats to attract them). Five years later and I’m still trying to get rid of these pesky pets.

9. Pooper scooper
I’ve been down with O.P.P. (Other People’s Poop) for over eight years, and as much as it pains me to admit this, I’d be overly qualified for just about any job that involved the cleaning or disposal of poop.

10. Personal Assistant to a Diva
I’ve calmly and effectively been able to deal with insanely unreasonable people who get upset for no reason (for example when their sandwich is cut into triangles and not squares). I’m used to taking orders all day long, even ridiculous requests like “Please wipe my butt because I’m too tired!” (See again why I’d be good at #9). So working as a personal assistant to a Diva or someone like Meryl Streep’s character from The Devil Wears Prada would be no big deal. I mean, at least I’d be getting paid!

What new skills have you acquired as a parent? Would you be qualified for a new career(s) too?

This post originally appeared on http://www.DivineSecretsofaDomesticDiva.com
Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Read More
Last Week’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week
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Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Read the latest batch below and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

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Last Week’s Best Parenting Tweets Of The Week
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Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Read the latest batch below and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

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ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Click through the slideshow below to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!


Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Best Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Click through the slideshow below to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!


Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!