Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: A Refugee Says, ‘Call Me American’

Abdi Nor Iftin went from a harrowing childhood in war-torn Somalia to freedom in Maine, thanks to winning a visa lottery.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: A Close Look at Where Kids Live, Learn and Play

In “The Design of Childhood,” the design and architecture critic Alexandra Lange examines schools, playgrounds, toys and other habitual features of young people’s lives.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: A Fresh Look at Benedict Arnold’s Treason

In “Turncoat,” the independent historian Stephen Brumwell argues that Arnold’s plot to foil the American Revolution was more complicated than it has previously appeared.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Drafting a Eulogy for Classic Rock

In “Twilight of the Gods,” Steven Hyden writes about what a generation of music gave to the culture — and whether any of it can last.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Making Good Time With the Pony Express

Jim DeFelice talks about “West Like Lightning,” his new history of the short-lived but long-remembered company and how it changed the United States.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Turning Routine Meetings Into Memorable Events

In “The Art of Gathering,” Priya Parker offers provocative and sometimes counterintuitive lessons on how to invigorate everything from weddings to high-pressure political negotiations.
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Alec Baldwin Schools Joe Piscopo On What To Tell Kids About Stormy Daniels

“SNL” alum Piscopo blasted the sketch featuring the porn star on Fox Business: “What do I tell my kids?”
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: An Escape From Impending War Into the Unknown

In “Miss Ex-Yugoslavia,” Sofija Stefanovic tells the story of her early childhood in a country that no longer exists and her ensuing years in Australia, where her family moved to get away from political tensions.
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How To Tell Your Dad He’s Not Walking You Down The Aisle

No offense, dad.
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The First Queen Of Hip-Hop Is Ready To Tell Her ‘Me Too’ Story

“Roxanne, Roxanne” is the grating, intersectional story of abuse we need.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Disarming Humor in ‘Heads of the Colored People’

Nafissa Thompson-Spires’s debut story collection shares its title with a collection of sketches by a 19th-century abolitionist.
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Nonfiction: James Comey Has a Story to Tell. It’s Very Persuasive.

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John Oliver: Even Mickey Mouse Would Tell Scott Pruitt To ‘Go F**k Himself’

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Bringing ‘Giant’ to the Big Screen

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Justin Bieber wants to tell you about Easter

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: The Mayor of New Orleans on Rethinking Southern History

Mitch Landrieu’s “In the Shadow of Statues” is part memoir and part history, building on a widely shared speech he delivered last year about removing Confederate statues from his city.
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Modern Love: Am I Gay or Straight? Maybe This Fun Quiz Will Tell Me

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Playoffs Confidential: Blitzing Brady, grounding Gurley, negating Newton — players, coaches tell all

NFL Nation reporters asked players, coaches and team personnel for their anonymous thoughts on each playoff team.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘Goddess of Anarchy’

Jacqueline Jones discusses her new biography of Lucy Parsons, a woman born into slavery who became an outspoken advocate for the working classes.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Elif Shafak on Mixing Faith and Doubt

In Shafak’s new novel, “Three Daughters of Eve,” a woman attends a dinner party in Istanbul and flashes back to charged friendships during her college days.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Debating Pot in America

Emily Dufton discusses “Grass Roots,” her look at the history of activism on both sides of the marijuana debate.
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Best trash-talkers, most overrated, more: NFL players tell all on QBs

Best trash-talkers, most overrated, more: NFL players tell all on QBs
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The Best Ways to Tell the Hard Truth at Work

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When Your Gym Shorts Tell You to Work Out Harder

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Maria Sharapova on ‘Unstoppable’

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: The Ways We Inherit Historical Traumas

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Companies must tell staff if emails monitored

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Q. and A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Patricia Williams Goes From Crime to Comedy

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘Eat Only When You’re Hungry’

Lindsay Hunter discusses her new novel about a man’s road trip as he searches for his drug-addicted son.
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Celebrities Use Obama’s Birthday To Tell Him How Much He’s Missed

It’s been a rough few months without Barack in the White House …
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How A ‘Batman’ Comic Continues To Tell A Relevant, American Story

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The Bachelorette Just Completely Destroyed Lee Garrett On the Most Fascinating Men Tell All Ever

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘Reading With Patrick’

Michelle Kuo talks about her experience teaching a troubled student in Arkansas, first in school and then while he sat in jail on a murder charge.
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Alisyn Camerota, Formerly of Fox News, Has a Story to Tell

The hair. The leg bronzer. Now at CNN, a journalist who accused Roger Ailes of harassment sets her first novel at a right-leaning cable network.
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Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘Affluence Without Abundance’

In his new book, James Suzman writes about the Bushmen hunter-gatherers and what they have taught him about how the modern world lives.
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Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘Why,’ About the Science of Curiosity

In his new book, Mario Livio delves into the fields of psychology and neuroscience, and speaks with people who have extreme curiosity.
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WWE Cancelled Talking Smack and Forget To Tell Its Hosts – and They Weren’t Happy!

It’s one thing to find out your show is cancelled. It’s another to find it out from a tweet.

But that’s what happened to WWE Talking Smack hosts Renee Young and Daniel Bryan, who learned Friday on social media that their 20-minute studio talk show that aired Tuesday nights following SmackDown Live would be no more.

On Friday, the WWE confirmed the news first reported by PWInsider that the weekly series was canned, explaining that the previous Tuesday’s episode was the last. Instead, the network plans to air the program following special pay-per-view events. “We continuously review WWE Network’s programming line-up based on a variety of factors, including viewership and subscriber research,” they said in a statement, PWInsider reported.

Debuting in August 2016 on the WWE Network, Talking Smack gave WWE superstars a forum to expand their characters beyond the ring. The unscripted panel program became acclaimed by fans for its unique format, many reacting to the chemistry between Young and SmackDown GM Bryan.

Fans were outraged on Twitter Friday — though their reactions were not nearly as surprising as Young and Bryan’s.

“Hmmm that’s one way to get the news,” Young wrote, responding to a fan who tweeted his disappointment.

She then retweeted a GIF of herself from the show, throwing a box of cookies behind her back.

Bryan appeared to be a little more angry.

“I come online to support #SamiForSyria and find this out,” he wrote, again responding to a fan who tweeted him the news. “I’m the GM!!! Nobody tells me anything!!!”

Their frustration was met with support from WWE personalities too — including Real World: Back to New York alum Mike “The Miz” Mizanin, who tweeted “RIP #TalkingSmack I enjoyed the freedom this show gave @wwe talent to showcase what they could do. @ReneeYoungWWE brought the best out of all.”

Young thanked Mizanin on Twitter — later telling fans, “Really disappointed about #TalkingSmack. We tried to make that show great. Guess I’ll go back to welcoming my guest at this time..”

RELATED VIDEO: Scott Hamilton on His ‘Humbling’ Brain Tumor Miracle

Talking Smack‘s cancellation comes amid changes for the network, which recently removed pyrotechnics from its shows. It also comes months after the WWE canned a similar program called Raw Talk, which aired Monday nights on the network after the three-hour live WWE Raw show.

Once Bryan’s appearances became less frequent, the show began to suffer. Add in the fact that the show was bumped until 11 PM to make way for 205 Live and Talking Smack was always swimming upstream in the battle for viewership.

The WWE told PWInsider that like Talking Smack, Raw Talk will also be back as a recap show following the brand’s respective pay-per-view shows.

Only on live weekly show remains on the WWE Network — 205 Live, which airs immediately after SmackDown. Unlike the other shows, it features WWE’s cruiserweight competitors.


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Q. and A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘In the Days of Rain’

Rebecca Stott discusses her new work of memoir and history, about life in a closed Christian world in England.
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Hearthstone’s Frozen Throne: Everything Blizz Would Tell Us

Blizzard unveiled its next Hearthstone expansion yesterday, and boy, is it going to shake things up. Knights of the Frozen Throne is coming in August and will take players to Northrend and give them 135 new cards to play with, including a new type of card, the Hero card. There’s one of these per class and playing them sees the hero transform into a Death Knight version of themselves. An evil, undead version of themselves.

Rexxar, for instance, becomes Rexxar Darkstalker. Playing his card will gain you armour, do AOE damage and give you a new hero power that lets you stitch together hideous chimera-like creatures, via a double Discovery, where you choose two beasts and then they fuse into one, with all the stats combined, all the abilities represented and costing whatever the total mana cost is. (Mike Donais has clarified how this works a little. You’ll be offered Hunter and neutral beasts at equal rates, they’ll always be five mana or below and the first pick is cards with text, the second with keywords or vanilla.)

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Lauren Conrad And Husband William Tell Welcome Baby Boy

Welcome to the world, Liam James Tell!
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘The Mind of God’

The neurologist Jay Lombard discusses the brain and its connection to what he describes as our deeper, spiritual underpinnings.
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Q. and A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: ‘The End of Advertising’

Andrew Essex discusses his new book about the fate of traditional advertising and what might replace it.
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Q. and A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: A Reporter Inside the World of Jihad

Souad Mekhennet discusses her new book, “I Was Told to Come Alone.”
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Nonfiction: Al Franken Has Been Sitting on Jokes for a Decade. Now He’s Ready to Tell Them.

“Al Franken, Giant of the Senate” is the story of how Franken pretended to be a serious person in public even as his inner comic monologue never stopped running.
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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Ben Falcone on the Father-Son Bond

In “Being a Dad Is Weird,” the comedic actor and screenwriter juxtaposes his childhood in Illinois with modern-day fatherhood in Los Angeles.
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How To Tell A New Partner You Have A Mental Illness

I cried in his arms our first night together. I’m not good, I kept repeating, tears falling into my ears as he caressed my face. I knew what love required, and I knew that, time and again, I’d failed at giving it because of the ways my anxiety distorted my thinking, and my panic disorder made me alternately dependent, selfish, and needy.

I wanted to write him a guide for loving me, so he could understand that when I tried to break up with him when one thing went wrong, when I changed plans because I didn’t feel like I could leave my house, when I criticized him much too harshly, it was because of faulty thought patterns and neurochemical flare-ups, not because I didn’t love him.

Love is hard for nearly everyone. But for those with anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses, love can be a minefield. The National Alliance on Mental Illness reports that 18.5 percent of adults in this country live with a diagnosed mental illness. That’s roughly 1 in 5 people, or 44 million total.

For years, my relationships would end abruptly because I hadn’t prepared the men I loved for the ways I’d lash out when I became claustrophobic; how I’d become distant and cold when panicked, and suddenly clingy and hot when the panic had passed; how I’d pick them apart against my will, obsessing over perceived shortcomings and imperfections, burning with embarrassment when they held forth at dinner parties or cowering with shame when I deemed them too shy.

After I ended my last relationship, I worked with a therapist on how to prepare myself and my partners for being in a romantic relationship not only with me, but with my anxiety and panic ― and how my partner could support me, himself, and us through it.

Dr. Ayelet Krieger, a psychologist who practices in the Bay Area, believes disclosing a mental illness early in a relationship is crucial.

“I like to talk about striking when the iron is cold,” she says. “You don’t want to tell your partner about your diagnosis when you’re in the throes of a crisis. It’s more productive to talk about it when you’re calm.”

Avi Steinhardt, a licensed clinical social worker in Brooklyn, New York, agrees. “Many of the risks of disclosing a mental illness are similar to the risks of falling in love,” he says. “How will this new, suddenly important person react? Will it scare them away? Unfortunately there is still stigma and misconceptions about mental illness in our culture, so there’s a good chance that this person has absorbed some misinformation over the years. But how a person responds to your disclosure may tell you a lot about this person’s sensitivity, biases, and capacity to listen with an open heart. If there is a risk that they won’t be sensitive enough, it is also good to know early on that this person would likely not be a good match.”

Rebecca Chamaa, who has paranoid schizophrenia, was dating her boyfriend long-distance. About three months into the relationship, she was hospitalized after a suicide attempt.

“After my release, I told him about my diagnosis,” she recalled. “He told me he didn’t know if he could handle it. I said, ‘Fair enough.’ But we were in love. The information may have given him pause, but it didn’t scare him away.”

“We were married less than a year later, and since that time my husband has been my number one fan and biggest help and support,” she went on. “I’m glad I was honest with him, and he was able to decide whether he wanted to give our relationship a try or walk away. The best thing that ever happened to me is that he stayed.”

They have now been married for 19 years.

Disclosing can be a valuable litmus test of whether a partner is a good long-term match. Sometimes, it turns out they’re not. Stephy Hamrick, who has complex post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, experienced this when she disclosed to a new partner.

“The first time I spent the night, the sound of his belt buckle as he undressed caused me to completely freeze and shut down, and I had to explain,” she remembers.

At first he was gentle with her, and very understanding. But a few months later, when he witnessed her depression, he didn’t know how to react.

“He had only seen the charming, adventurous optimist I was when healthy,” she said. “When my physical and mental health crashed, he couldn’t wrap his head around the amount of pain I was in, no matter how much I tried to explain it.”

It’s sometimes difficult for those who have never experienced a mental illness to grasp how debilitating it can be.

“You can say you’re drowning, but a fish has no frame of reference for that experience,” Hamrick says. “I thought I was disclosing fully, but he didn’t understand until I texted him at work to tell him that one of my friends was taking me to the psychiatric ER because I was suicidal.”

If Hamrick could do it over, she would be much more explicit in describing the seriousness of her depression.

“I didn’t realize he didn’t understand the difference between the clinical use of the term ‘depression’ and its popular use,” she said. “Next time, I will spell it out a lot more clearly.”

The good news is that educating oneself and one’s partner about mental illness is easier than it’s ever been. “There’s so much information online and blogs kept by people who struggle with mental health,” Krieger says. “The more you learn, the more you realize how common these are.”

Another positive aspect of early disclosure is that it can jump-start vulnerability. When one person opens up about something sensitive or challenging, it can elicit trust and an equal willingness to be vulnerable in the other. “It’s rare there’s a relationship in which one person is perfect and one is complicated,” Krieger says. “Both people usually have ‘stuff.’ Disclosing is dropping into that trust and vulnerability sooner.”

Iesha Williams waited 11 months and until she was married to tell her husband about her anxiety and depression.

“It wasn’t a planned conversation,” she remembers. “We talked about my depression on the anniversary of losing a baby, which was an emotional trigger. The depression was intense and seemed inescapable. Thankfully, he listened and was attentive to what I expressed.”

“He admitted to not fully understanding, but did everything in his power to support me,” she went on. “Disclosing my struggles made us stronger and better able to support, understand, and love one another. I’m very glad I disclosed.”

Steinhardt believes these conversations often result in both partners feeling more known, accepted, and loved.

“I can’t think of a romantic relationship where we don’t need to tell one another how we need to be loved, what our challenges are, our triggers, our weaknesses,” he says.

Confronting something this real and personal early in a relationship can be a catapult into deep intimacy and trust.

I told Joel everything right away, that first night. He responded beautifully, holding me and sharing painful aspects of his own life. Within the first few weeks, I taught him about common anxiety-induced relationship pitfalls, and more about panic. Four months in, he has been unfailingly responsive and calm, encouraging and nurturing, and inspires me to be the same with him.

Still, I’ve tried to end it a few times, to save us both the trouble. He reminds me this is part of it: the doubting, the fear, the bliss.

One evening I arrived late to a concert and saw him sitting there, eyes closed, body still. We walked wordlessly toward each other through the crowd and rubbed our faces together, swaying slowly. I let myself submit just the smallest bit more. A woman near us said, “Ah, love.”

We listened to the music.

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HELLO to 741-741 for free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line. Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of resources.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Andrea Petersen on Living With, and Studying, Anxiety

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Watch The Abbey’s Lawrence Tell His Dad He’s Going to Have a Baby With His BFF Brandi: “I Can Feel How Nervous He Is”

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: Rafe Bartholomew on Growing Up at McSorley’s

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Opens Friday, May 26, 2017

Deadly ghost pirates are determined to kill every pirate at sea… including Captain Jack Sparrow.

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World War II Veterans From Around The World Tell Their Own Moving Stories

The word “veteran,” at least to Americans, is likely to elicit an image of a reverent man, chin held high. But, as photographer Sasha Maslov illustrates in his new book, Veterans: Faces of World War II, veterans from a single, recent war include a huge swath of people, with wildly different perspectives. 

One of his subjects ― from Austin, Texas ― lamented that he got swept up in the draft and had to witness the loss of so many friends. But several others signed up willingly, including Themistoklis Marinos of Athens, Greece, who voiced his enthusiasm for fighting “against invaders.” Maslov took Marinos’s portrait sitting in his living room, surrounded by crosses and other religious iconography. 

His story is among the dozens told and chronicled by Maslov, who aimed with this book to collect veteran stories from around the world and to thereby illustrate just how far-reaching the effects of World War II were.

“The scale of this conflict was so large that I wanted to show as many angles of it as I could,” Maslov told HuffPost in an interview. “Then I discovered that in many countries, including the United States, the view of World War II is somewhat shaped by what is being taught in schools or what the ‘government line’ is, so it often isn’t accurate. That’s why it was so important to get the stories of the people who actually participated in the war and witnessed it first hand.”

When he began the project in 2011, Maslov wanted to be sure to capture not only his subjects but their environments, and how their homes and other personal spaces reflected their personalities. “The folks I photographed for this project had lived in their houses for a long time, so their homes said a lot about who they were,” Maslov said.

“With the rise of hatred globally, maybe this is a good time for this,” Maslov said. “What I’m afraid of is that people in need of history lessons now are not seeking education.”

Read a few excerpts from Maslov’s book below:

Imants Zeltins, from Bauska, Latvia

“By February 1, 1945, the Americans had invaded Germany. The soldiers put signs on hospital doors that forbade patients to leave the area. After a few days,
all the Latvians there got together and literally cried, not because the war was ending, but because they knew Latvia would be once again occupied by the Russians.”

Richard Overton from Austin, Texas, United States

“I didn’t want to go to war. Uncle Sam picked me; he enlisted me. […] I lost a lot of friends. Everybody in the army was my friend. I did regret going, but after I went, I was glad I went. I learned a lot.”‘

Anna Nho, from Almaty, Kazakhstan

“In 1937, many Koreans were deported from the Far East [of Russia]. We were transferred to Karaganda in Kazakhstan. They put up tents for housing. A few families lived in each one, but it was so cold that someone died every day.”

Themistoklis Marinos, from Athens, Greece

“I finished my school in Zakynthos and then moved to Athens to study economics. To finance my studies, I was also working odd jobs. When the Italians attacked Greece, I was called to arms, and I stopped studying.

“When the war was declared, we were very enthusiastic, and we were looking forward to fighting against the invaders. The Germans and Italians took over Greece, and I left for Crete, which was still free.

“With no practical experience in the military, I took part in the Battle of Crete.”

Jaku Kikuchi, from Tsukuba-Shi, Japan

“All these American planes would fly over and bomb us. When the Japanese airplanes met them in the air, the Americans would shoot them down. I do remember being very scared then.”

Images (c) Sasha Maslov from Veterans: Faces of World War II (c) 2017, Princeton Architectural Press.

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How To Tell Your Partner You Have An STD

When Sarit Luban, a 27-year-old writer from Boston starts dating someone new, there’s a conversation she has to have first.

Luban, who has genital herpes, says she has a couple of different approaches to disclosing her sexually transmitted infection. Sometimes she introduces herpes casually, as one of many facts about herself. Other times, she opens up the conversation by talking about STIs generally, and asking about the last time her partner was tested.

“I don’t apologize, and I don’t go into how I got it,” she says. “It can be as simple as, ‘Hey, I want to have sex with you. If you’re into that, I want you to know first that I have genital herpes.’ I like to give people space to ask questions, and I frame it as a discussion that we can have together.” 

Luban has had some time to come to terms with this aspect of her dating life, but it hasn’t always been this easy. We don’t have models for how to have this conversation, she noted, and since it’s so taboo most people are overwhelmed by panic after a diagnosis.

“So many people, myself included, are diagnosed and terrified not necessarily because [having an STI] is so bad, but because it’s like entering this big unknown,” she said.

No matter how a sexually transmitted infection diagnosis comes up, it will probably bring with it a few uncomfortable emotions. But if you’re in a relationship — committed, casual or otherwise — the knowledge that you must now share your diagnosis with your partner is likely weighing heavily on your mind.

Don’t beat yourself up over these feelings — you’re not alone. After all, nearly half of American adults will contract an STI in their lifetimes.

Telling your partner you’ve been diagnosed may seem terrifying, but sharing the news honestly, directly and clearly will start the conversation off on the right foot.

Dr. Alyssa Dweck, a gynecologist in New York and author of the forthcoming book The Complete A to Z for your V, recommends getting straight to the point and giving your partner all the information they need to process the news.

Get right to the point

“We recommend a direct conversation with your partner,” she says. “Just let them know, ‘I’ve been diagnosed with this infection, I’m getting treated. You need to be treated [and tested] as well.’”

Depending on what state you live in, she added, your gynecologist may be able to expedite your partner’s treatment.

Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship expert and author of The New Monogamy, agrees.

“Use simple language they can understand,” she says. “If you know how this happened, tell them. If you are as surprised as they are, be open about that. Tell them, ‘I thought something was strange, but honestly, I figured it was only a funny side effect of a medication I was on, so I didn’t think to tell you.’ Most people appreciate honesty and will relate to your naiveté, so don’t go into the conversation with any hidden agenda.”

If the infection is permanent, say so

If you’ve been diagnosed with something like chlamydia or gonorrhea, the conversation will be easier since treatment is available and those infections go away. If you have something like herpes or HPV, however—infections that have longer-lasting implications—the conversation may be more difficult.

“Honesty and trust should be expected on both sides,” Dweck said. “Especially for these infections where they’re not returnable [like herpes]…You can alter your sexual practices based on the potential for giving or getting an infection, so there’s something you can do about it.”

Consider having the conversation in your doctor’s office. Having a neutral third party in the room can help to make the conversation more straightforward, and remove some of the stigma of an STI infection since your doctor will be able to answer your partner’s questions calmly and with confidence.

Dweck says that her patients sometimes bring their partners to her office to share their diagnosis, or to have a follow-up conversation about testing and treatment where the partner can ask questions.

Try not to get defensive with your partner

Approach the conversation from a straightforward, medical place, even if you suspect your partner is the source of your infection ― or even that infidelity was involved. Dweck and Nelson agree that your health is most important at this point, and you will need to have many conversations about your relationship. For now, though, both partners need to focus on getting tested and treated.

“Be empathetic and try not to be defensive,” says Nelson. “Remember, someone gave this to you, and you are probably angry with them. And keep in mind that anger is many times a cover up feeling for fear. Your partner is probably scared.”

Try to ease your stress as much as possible too, Nelson added.

“Stress compounds any infection in your body, so make sure you do what you need to do for yourself to make these conversations as caring and honest as you can, but take time to heal yourself as well,” she said.

An STI diagnosis doesn’t have to end a relationship

“Some couples survive an STI diagnosis just fine. And depending on the infection, some clear up with correct treatment and follow up,” says Nelson.

On the other hand, an STI diagnosis could provide an opportunity to end a relationship that’s been rocky. “Other infections and other couples may see this as the can opener that gets them out of a relationship that wasn’t working well anyway,” Nelson added.

Luban says that, in general, her partners have handled her disclosure well, though it helps to frame the conversation positively and not go into it anticipating rejection. She suggests giving your partner space to process the news and ask questions. And, she adds, “it can be helpful to have answers to some of people’s most common questions about [the STI] or be able to point them in the direction of a couple good resources if that’s something they need.”

Start the conversation early

If you don’t have an STI to disclose, why not open up that conversation early in your relationship by suggesting getting tested together? It can be a healthy way to bond with your partner; you’ll get to know each other better, and find out how your love interest handles difficult conversations.

As Nelson and Dweck point out, STIs are a reality, and talking about them openly and without shame is the best way to end the stigma.

“As I got more used to the idea that I had herpes and gained experience with talking about it, disclosing became easier and easier,” Luban says. “And, fortunately, everyone I’ve disclosed to has been super cool about it.”

Stephanie Hallett is a lifestyle writer in Los Angeles and weekend editor at HelloGiggles.

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101 Portraits Tell The Stories Of People Who Survived Gun Violence In America

One day while picking up her daughters from daycare, Shirley Justice was attacked by her ex-husband. She was shot 14 times, and she survived.

Since 2013, photographer Kathy Shorr has chronicled people like Justice, survivors of gun violence in America. In her portrait, Justice stands near a window wearing a bra, revealing the scars writ across her chest and stomach. The expression on her face reads as mournful, even incredulous, yet at peace. 

“Fourteen bullets entered my body that day,” Justice recalled in her interview with Shorr. “Fourteen bullets that ripped through every major organ and artery. Fourteen chances to die. ‘I will live for you,’ I promised my girls as I lay on the ground watching my ex-husband flee the scene.” 

Shorr’s photo book, simply titled Shot, features 101 portraits accompanied by interviews and descriptions of her subjects, all of whom survived instances of gun violence in America. Shorr first began thinking about the project after she and her daughter were held up at gunpoint during a home invasion.

Neither Shorr nor her daughter were physically injured during the encounter, but the experience and the subsequent emotional trauma left the artist agonizing over the thousands of Americans each year whose lives are irreparably changed by virtue of a loaded gun. 

According to CNN in 2016, there are more mass shootings in the U.S. than in any other country in the world. That same year, The New York Times reported that gun homicides are a common cause of death in America, killing about as many people as car crashes. Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that between 2001 and 2014 alone, 440,095 people died at the hands of a firearm on U.S. soil.

“People don’t always think about the survivors,” Shorr told The Huffington Post. “Gun violence survivors are here and have a voice, a very important voice. They have experienced something that is kind of indescribable to someone that hasn’t experienced it.”

To begin her project, Shorr reached out to a man named Antonius, whose story she’d learned while listening to the NY1 news. She approached him on Facebook, they emailed back and forth and eventually met in person. After talking through the details, Shorr and Antonius returned to the Brooklyn street corner where he had been shot only seven weeks prior. Antonius took a Xanax to stay calm. 

The shoot, according to Shorr, was overwhelmingly positive. People from the community came by to shake Antonius’ hand. He pulled up his shirt and Shorr photographed his scar. Antonius told the photographer how cathartic it was to return to the site and take back the space. “At that point I realized this was a project I could really do,” Shorr said.

“I always saw it as a book,” she continued. “I just felt that once I started there was no turning back. Especially once I started talking to people and learning their stories, I felt an incredible amount of responsibility to complete the project.”

Shorr’s subjects adhere to no single age, gender, ethnicity, class or occupation. Their stories are equally as far-ranging. There is 8-year-old Taniya, accidentally shot by a fellow third grader who brought his father’s gun to school, and Greg, a Georgia-based police sergeant shot by a drug dealer during a bust. There are victims of robberies, domestic abuse, hate crimes and stray bullets. The physical impact of the violence manifests in wheelchairs, prosthetic aids, purple contusions or scars of gauzy flesh. The emotional impact the viewer can only attempt to imagine. 

Shorr describes her style as part street photography, part documentary portraiture. Some images zoom in on the physical residue of where bullet met flesh, while others are more straightforward portraits, focusing more on the person than the tragedy that shattered their sense of normalcy. Many photos were captured at the location where each subject was wounded, which the artist described as a way of saying, “You didn’t get me, I’m here.”

“The project was always meant to bring a face to an abstract situation,” Shorr said. “To show how gun violence affects everyone, not only certain groups of people. Anyone can be shot, anywhere. Many of the people in the project are gun owners themselves; one is even a member of the NRA.”

Shorr hopes her portrait series serves as a non-partisan foil to the polarizing shouting matches on the subject of gun violence. “It’s time to start talking about these issues so we can grow and learn from each other,” Shorr said. “When people can see both sides of an issue, and both sides have valid points, we can talk to each other rather than at each other. It’s not a black and white issue.”

Kathy Shorr’s Shot: 101 Survivors of Gun Violence in America is available now. On Thursday, April 13, Shorr will join Lyle Rexer for a discussion and book signing at Brooklyn’s Powerhouse Books. All captions were provided by the artist.

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The Lonely Island Tell The Story Of How ‘Dear Sister’ Came To ‘SNL’

Before they were never stop never stopping, or telling Lego World that everything is awesome, or even offering up “Congratulations on the Sex!” cakes, the comedic minds behind The Lonely Island — Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone and Andy Samberg — were brainstorming ideas for a digital short late into an April 2007 week during “Saturday Night Live” Season 32.

“We were hard up for an idea because we had gotten through that we’d be making a digital short every week at that point,” Samberg said to The Huffington Post, referring to the pre-shot segments cooked up by the trio that regularly ran on the NBC variety show from 2005 to 2012. “One of us was like, ‘What about that “O.C.” thing? Maybe we could do that.’”

The “’O.C.’ thing” was an idea they’d hatched years before, after watching a 2005 episode of the seminal Fox teen show where Marissa (Mischa Barton) shoots Trey (Logan Marshall-Green) over a soundtrack of “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap (more commonly known hereafter in the pop culture lexicon as “Mmm Whatcha Say”).

“We were all kind of obsessed with it together,” explained Schaffer. “One day, Andy and Jorm took out our home video camera and, just around our apartment, kind of shot what I would consider the first 45 seconds, maybe minute’s worth of a short with no ending in mind … but it was not for any intended audience or for anything, really. It was just for fun.”

The just-for-fun idea in their library combined with a looming deadline eventually morphed into the digital short we all now know as “The Shooting,” or “Dear Sister,” on April 14, 2007. (It helped that “The O.C.” itself had just finished its run two months before the short aired, so an homage felt appropriate.)

Translating the idea from its beginnings into something with an arc of sorts was a challenge.

“It took a while for us to figure it out, just ‘cause there was no logical end. We had to really invent something,” Taccone said.

“And then it became completely logical,” Shaffer added.

We took a walk down comedy-memory lane with Schaffer, Taccone and Samberg for the short’s 10-year anniversary.

Did you guys have to run the short by Lorne Michaels or anyone before it made it on the show? What was the reaction when you first showed it?

Samberg: The first time Lorne would see any of our shorts was at dress rehearsal at 8 p.m. so I don’t think this was any different. 

Schaffer: Yeah, and it played really well, and we were all kind of pleasantly surprised by that. I don’t think we thought it was gonna not do well, but we kind of didn’t know how much people would be on board for it, because it’s kind of a weird art film.

That’s what we kept laughing about, that we’d made kind of a weird art film that didn’t really have anything you could exactly explain why it was entertaining or if it was entertaining. The music layers on itself at the end, and that’s what was making us giggle in the edit room, it was like, “Ooh, we’re making kind of an art film here!” I remember saying that a lot. 

And then playing it at the thing, you never know how the audience is going to react. I didn’t think that they would hate it or anything, but I thought it would be maybe quieter than it was. But it felt like they liked it right away.

Samberg: What we learned was that the sort of cinema and TV trope of the gunshot off-camera and somebody, in slo-mo, seeing blood on their own hands and realizing it’s them was more popular than we realized. 

Jorma Taccone: I think that we also realized that we had our finger on the pulse. 

Samberg (exasperated): No, Jorm, don’t — 

Schaffer: Jorm should work in advertising for a little while. You have to forgive him. He’s a big advertising guy now.

When you guys brought Shia LaBeouf on, did he have any ideas of his own to add or was he just game for it?

Schaffer: He was just game. We always had a great time with Shia when he would come host. He was one of our favorites. I don’t even know how much we explained it to any of the actors, honestly. I think Bill [Hader] knew what it was ‘cause his office was next to ours and we would always, in the writing process, share with Bill, Bill would be there. And everybody else, we would just tell wardrobe what to dress them in and tell them where to meet us, and they would just kind of show up. I don’t know that we even pitched to them ahead of time.  

Taccone: That was also a late-night one too, that people were showing up pretty late. Like, what time was it?

Schaffer: That was definitely a Friday night shoot, which is the worst, ‘cause then you’re editing it straight up till airtime. The reason that it looks the way it does is because there had been no plan to do it. I mean, based on basically what we already told you, which is that we were so stuck for an idea that we thought worthy of doing a short that we had to go back into our library and find something two years earlier. So that tells you how much we had been kinda stuck that week.

So it was definitely a last-minute short, and the reason it looks like it does is ‘cause that’s just a hotel suite. When it gets to be Friday night and you haven’t figured it out, then the only thing you can do is rent a hotel suite, grab some lights, and film in there. And so that’s what it is, just a hotel room and some lights.

I remember [Jason] Sudeikis being asleep on one of the beds of the actual hotel suite because we had asked him and Fred [Armisen] to come, you know, in their police outfits — they didn’t even know what it was for — and now it was like, three in the morning and we hadn’t gotten to their part yet. 

Samberg: Yeah, and we kind of made up the ending on set, right? 

Schaffer: Yeah, We knew it would be police officers showing up and then they would shoot each other, but I don’t think we knew that we would have them do it over and over again. Or maybe they weren’t gonna shoot each other, and we came up with them shooting each other on set?

Taccone: I can’t remember which part we came up with on set. 

Samberg: It might have been just show up and read the letter and that was the blow on the whole thing, “Oh, she’s gonna [read] the letter about how they were all gonna shoot each other. How ‘bout that.” And then I think on set we had it that the cops shooting each other was also in the letter.

Schaffer: The fact that the music was overlapping was in edit. It was gonna be that it kept resetting.

Taccone: That was accidental. ‘Cause we let it go long, and then you were like, “Oh shit.”

Schaffer: Yeah, exactly, and it was like, “Oh, that’s cool.” And I do wanna give credit to Sudeikis because I feel like he was the first one to say, “Oh, we should shoot each other.” 

The feeling I had first watching “Dear Sister” felt similar to watching the “David S. Pumpkins” sketch in this season of “SNL.” I was wondering what you thought about slightly confusing absurdity becoming sort of viral and iconic.

Schaffer: That’s high praise. We’re big into David S. Pumpkins.

Samberg: Basically anything like that where it basically makes no sense but there’s somehow a set of rules, they’re just not the rules of reality as we know it, we generally enjoy. 

Schaffer: Yeah. It’s not pure random, because then pure random’s never funny, it doesn’t really have any meaning. But somehow, David S. Pumpkins taps into something everybody understands. It just becomes a delight.

Taccone: Those are also two great songs, you know: Imogen Heap, for obvious reasons, and David S. Pumpkins has an equally great song.

After the short took off with fans and got a life of its own, did that affect the way you approached shorts in the future at all?

All three: No, not really.

Samberg: It’s always a surprise which ones got, like, tribute videos and stuff. I never would’ve guessed that, for example, “Threw It on the Ground” would’ve been one, but that turned into one that people really liked. Like, kids liked it a lot. 

Taccone: That’s kind of the advantage of “SNL” too, is that every week, no matter what you do, there’s gonna be a show next week, and you have to kind of reset and start from scratch. You don’t really have time to even — I mean, we were always sort of conscious of not trying to repeat ourselves, but there was no trying to follow something that was popular, because you couldn’t … there was no time to try to come up with, “Oh, is this gonna go viral?”

Samberg: Nothing ever went viral where, before someone made it, they said, “We want this to go viral.”

Taccone: This was early enough in the process that they didn’t clear music for internet use always and they weren’t putting things on YouTube, so it was especially impressive that it went viral considering it wasn’t put online. It was only put online by kids who were putting it online themselves. They only cleared Imogen Heap’s song for air, and so it didn’t even go online, so that’s how … I don’t know.

Samberg: That’s how much we have our finger on the pulse.

Nothing ever went viral where, before someone made it, they said, “We want this to go viral.”
Andy Samberg

Are there any sort of fun little moments that you guys remember from filming the sketch that most people wouldn’t notice when they watch it? 

Schaffer: We were very impressed with Shia’s dead acting. When he hit the ground, he really let his head hit the ground. We were also impressed with how well he was able to hold his eyes still in a way that seemed, you know, whatever he was doing — thousand-yard stare — was really working for us.  

The gun in it is also the gun, if you watched any of our pre-”SNL” short things we were making for our website — that gun was, I forget where we got it, but it’s like, shooting little plastic balls. We used it for everything that required a gun. That’s how homemade the digital shorts were at this point. We didn’t even ask the props department for a gun, we were just like, “Oh, yeah, we have that gun at home.” Everyone’s wearing their own clothes except for the costumes of the police, right? You guys, I think, are just in your own sweatshirts and stuff. 

Taccone: To add to that gun story, what we did oftentimes with that gun — that was a little pellet gun — and we would ball up little wads of paper, when we all lived in Los Angeles together, and we would stuff them in the barrel and shoot each other with the gun and try to give each other little welts.

Samberg: Oh, yeah. 

Schaffer: It was like an endurance challenge.

Was there anything else you wanted to add about the short?

Schaffer: We just love that people are taking interest in it. We loved it a ton and didn’t think it would become this popular, so it’s very fun to talk about.

Samberg: I guess the last thing I would like to say is: Shoutout to Josh Schwartz for creating “The O.C.,” and shoutout to Imogen Heap for making an incredible, timeless, classic tune.

Schaffer: I wanted to say to the kids to follow your dreams. When you watch this short, it requires nothing. Anybody could make it in their living room of their own apartment or house. 

Taccone: Yeah, they could definitely get Shia LaBeouf to stop by.

Schaffer: We don’t have good lights, we don’t have anything. Except for cop uniforms, I guess. That would be — but anyone can go buy those at the Halloween store. My point is that there’s nothing fancy or unattainable about it, it looks like crap, it’s just an idea.

Taccone: I want to remind the kids to get out there and vote.

Hit Backspace for a regular dose of pop culture nostalgia.

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In a sea of sequels, it’s rejuvenating to welcome the fresh face of Horizon Zero Dawn to the video games stage. To help you better understand this post-post-apocalyptic adventure, here are some elements from movies and games that it most reminds me of. If you like these, Horizon Zero Dawn could be a perfect match.

Lara Croft and Aloy Both Aloy and the rebooted version of Lara Croft wield bows

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What Sex Therapists Tell People Whose Partners Don’t Want Sex

Being in a relationship with someone who’s disinterested in sex can feel incredibly lonely. A discrepancy in desire is more common than most people realize, though. 

What’s the best way to address it with your spouse? Below, sex therapists share the advice they give people with higher sex drives than their partners.

1. Be honest with your spouse about your needs.

Don’t shut your partner out and quietly suffer through your sexual frustration. The first step you should take to improve your sex life is to tell your S.O. that you wish you were intimate more frequently, said Keeley Rankin, a sex therapist in San Francisco, California. 

“See how your spouse responds,” she said. “Listen to what they say, feel and say they want. You never know, they may want more closeness as well.”

2. Discuss the things that make sex possible and the barriers in the way.

Without asking, there’s no way of knowing why your spouse is disinterested in sex. Maybe they’re just exhausted and too stressed out by the day’s end to initiate sex. Or if they’re experiencing sexual dysfunction of some kind (premature ejaculationerectile dysfunction or a lack of vaginal lubrication, for instance), it makes sense that they’re apprehensive about initiating sex. 

“You have to consider the life, emotional and physical barriers that can affect sex and shift libidos,” said Elizabeth McGrath, a sex therapist and educator who works in the Bay Area. “If your spouse has been caring for others all day, for instance, they might not feel ready for sex until they’ve had a moment to themselves to feel nourished and decompress.”

Once you’ve pinpointed some potential causes, figure out a workaround as a team; schedule a doctor’s appointment if there’s a physical barrier to sex, or give your spouse some totally kid-free “me time” if exhaustion is the problem.

3. Try seduction, not criticism or pressure. 

A slight mismatch in libido can easily become a larger one if the lower-desire spouse is badgered about the issue, said Danielle Harel, a sex therapist and the co-author of Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion

The mismatch often creates a cycle where the spouse with the higher sex drive complains, compares or criticizes their partner and the partner ends up having sex out of obligation, she explained. 

Instead of pressuring your spouse, “see if you can find out what turns them on the most and try seduction,” Harel said. “Try saying (and really meaning), ‘It’s fine if we don’t have sex tonight but would you be willing to just open up to see if you start to get turned on?’”

She added: “Just because you start, doesn’t mean you have to go all the way. Make sure you have this agreement with your partner.”

4. Take turns initiating intimacy. 

If you’re locked into a cycle of initiation and rejection, ask your spouse if they’d be willing to initiate some form of intimacy every few days, said Moushumi Ghose, a sex therapist and author of Classic Sex Positions Reinvented. 

“Take turns each day initiating some kind of touch, even if if the goal isn’t orgasm, but just non-goal oriented sexy time,” she said. “The next day, the other person initiates. This can help balance out the playing field.” 

5. See if your spouse is willing to make out. 

Reconnecting sexually is all about taking slow, measured steps. If your partner is willing to have a hot make-out session or just touch, be open to that, said Celeste Hirschman, a sex therapist and the co-author of Making Love Real: The Intelligent Couple’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion.

“Oftentimes, when people are asking for sex, a lot of what they want is just enthusiastic, loving connection.” Hirschman said. “Just remember: You both have to be enthusiastic about it; it won’t be fulfilling if your partner just gives you sex without being present or enjoying the experience themselves.” 

6. Get outside help. 

Instead of dwelling on what’s missing in the relationship, consider the bond and attraction that still exists and build on that, McGrath said.

“Explore workshops, sex education resources and sex therapy that can expand your sexual horizons,” she said. “Look at what is possible and continue to talk about what else you can do together as a team.”

7. Keep bringing your sexual energy, but in a loving, calm way.

Don’t lose heart if you’re the higher-desire partner, said Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and New York Times-bestselling author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.

“Higher-desire partners often get frustrated and feel rejected, creating a sexual disposition that is impatient and brittle and temperamental,” he said. “This often worsens the dynamic around sex and sometimes the higher-desire partner may opt out altogether, which is equally bad.”

The best thing you can do, according to Kerner, is to “stay in it to win it. That means nurturing arousal through positive acts of intimacy.”

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The Gettysburg Address: Using Lincoln’s Words to Tell the Whole Story of America’s Civil War, 1776 to the Present

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”Four score and seven years ago … ” They’re the famous opening words of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address delivered in 1863, and they point back to the founding year of the United States: 1776. To understand the issues involved in the Civil War, it’s necessary to go that far back in American history. Based on the founding fathers’ vision for America, how free were the states to leave the Union if they wanted to? Did the federal government have the power and right to stop them? What did Lincoln really think about the issues of slavery and race?Those are just some of the questions this graphic novel examines. Divided into sections corresponding to the phrases of the Gettysburg Address, this is an enlightening read that brings the reader face to face with the complex historical issues behind the Civil War. More than just a comic book, it goes surprisingly in-depth and shows the causes of the Civil War were not as simple as you may think.Product DetailsDimensions: 6” W x 9” HSoftcover graphic novel, 224 pages, by Jonathan HennesseyArt by Aaron McConnellISBN: 978-0-06-196976-8
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What You Don’t Know and Your Boss Won’t Tell You: Advice from Senior Female Executives on What You Need to Succeed

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To move ahead in your career you need to be concerned about many issues that are not taught in school or the company handbook. What You Don’t Know and Your Boss Won’t Tell You covers a wide range of topics explored candidly by experienced female executives who learned how to navigate the unspoken and often debilitating rules of corporate life. This book will show you how to actively manage your career, communicate in the language of business, find leadership opportunities and good mentors, and develop a personal style that projects confidence and competence. The book also shows how you can handle the nuances of dating, emotions, and office politics, how to understand the rigors and rules of business travel, and ways to balance work and family comfortably. Unlike other books geared toward women on how to succeed in corporate life, What You Don’t Know and Your Boss Won’t Tell You offers specific advice from a group of successful female executives that will help empower women to take char
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‘Tanorexia’ Is Real and I Lived to Tell About It

I remember the day so vividly. It was the summer after my junior year of college and I was working at a summer camp in Michigan.

I called my parents in Florida just to say “Hi” and let them know how camp was going, when my mom got very serious and said, “We got the biopsy results back from the Dermatologist. You have Melanoma.”

I was in complete shock. Who gets skin cancer at 19 years old?!

Flashback to Pre-Diagnosis

The week before leaving for camp that summer, I was in the kitchen getting a snack, wearing my colorful striped bikini (which I practically lived in), and my mom pointed out that I had a large dark mole on my back. I didn’t think much of it because I had freckles and moles all over my body…what’s another one? But, she insisted that I get it looked at because the color was “odd.”

I’m actually really surprised I took her advice because I hate going to doctors and I was a kid who thought she was invincible. But, I went to the dermatologist, had a biopsy done on the “odd looking mole” on my back and didn’t think a thing of it until I got the news a week later.

After the initial shock wore off, I was scared. I knew cancer was serious and I knew Melanoma was bad. I had just lost an aunt and grandmother from cancer and it sickened me at the thought that I had the nasty disease in my body that had taken their lives.

The worst part about the situation was that it was my own fault.

I can’t say that I did anything to protect myself from Melanoma. In fact, I did the opposite.

My Tanning Addiction

I grew up loving the outdoors and being in the sun. As a kid, it was just about having fun. As a teenager, it became more about vanity. I had always been known as the “tan girl” and I thought I looked prettier and skinnier when I was tan. With Indian skin, sandy blonde hair, light eyes, and skin that browned easily, I wanted nothing more than to stay tan all year.

Living in Florida made it easy. I practically lived outside in our family pool or at the beach with friends. Instead of sunscreen, I used baby oil to get my skin even darker. I liked the way tanning made me look and feel.

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Facing Melanoma

When I returned from camp a few weeks after my Melanoma diagnosis, I went in for surgery to have the cancer removed. I was terrified, but I remember acting like it was no big deal because I knew my parents were even more terrified than I was. I didn’t want them to be scared.

After the surgery was successful at removing all the Melanoma, I was left with a large scar across my back. As a 19-year old girl I was self-conscious about the scar, but not enough to keep me from jumping right back into my bathing suit and heading for the beach a few weeks later.

You’d think that after my diagnosis I would immediately change all my tanning habits, but it didn’t happen that way.

Even though I was more aware of my fragile skin, I still wanted to be tan. I would see all my friends getting tan and I would be jealous. I would lay out in my backyard just to try to “stay in the game” and get a little color.

The only difference between pre-melanoma Lindsey and post-melanoma Lindsey was that I would put sunscreen on occasionally, but really only on what I thought were the fragile parts of my body, like my face, chest, and shoulders. Never once did I put sunscreen on my legs because I was determined to have year-round tan legs as always.

This behavior went on for several years. Then one day I heard something on the radio that struck a nerve.

They were discussing something called “tanorexia.”

“Tanorexia” means that you are addicted to tanning. And it’s not a joke. “Tanorexics” are literally addicted to ultraviolet (UV) rays.

Studies have shown that frequent UV exposure produces endorphins, or the pleasure chemical in the brain. The same chemical that is produced after heroin use.

When frequent tanners are given endorphin blockers, they have been shown to experience withdrawal symptoms similar to what is experienced during drug addiction recovery, including nausea, vomiting, and shaking.

The term “tanorexic” started as a laugh in 2000 when writer David Sedaris was describing his extremely tan sister in his memoir Me Talk Pretty One Day. Now “tanorexia” is becoming more commonly used, and it is no laughing matter. Come to find out that 70 percent of “tanorexics” are Caucasian women between the ages of 16 and 49.

That was me. I was a “tanorexic.”

It wasn’t until after my second, third, fourth biopsy that I began to understand the consequences of my behaviors. I was putting my life at risk.

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I can’t say that a lightbulb came on and I changed all my tanning ways. It took effort to stop tanning, and it still does at times. I will see pictures of myself when I was tan and wish I looked that way again.

One way I believe I cope with my tanning addiction is by turning to exercise. Not only does exercise make me feel better about my body (which tanning did for me previously), but exercise gives me that (healthy) endorphin rush that I was so addicted to with tanning. It has been a coping mechanism for me as I continue to recover from my tanning addiction.

I have also drastically changed my lifestyle. I don’t live in Florida anymore and am not tempted daily by the beaches and hot sun. But, you won’t find me hiding inside. I still love the outdoors and make every attempt to enjoy the outdoors daily, but I do so with skin protection.

As more research is being done about tanning addiction, more evidence is showing that it is likely a behavioral addiction, much like gambling. Tanning addiction may not be as severe as drug addiction, but there is a lot of debate about whether to include it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a true behavioral addiction.

I have lived and survived through “tanorexia” and I know it to be real.

I think that the beauty trend of “having a tan glow” is pushing people towards unhealthy tanning practices that can lead to “tanorexia.” Instead, we should be promoting healthy beauty standards of naturally fair skin and help save lives. One way to do this is by educating people on the dangers of tanning and by promoting the use of sunscreen, as well as other methods of protecting our skin from harmful UV rays.

I was lucky enough to survive Melanoma this time, but many people do not survive. One person dies of Melanoma every hour. Don’t let that be you.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Style – The Huffington Post
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#BackStory: Funniest Parents on Twitter Tell More!

Funny tweets: So short, so perfect. Funny tweets about parenting? Even better!

We know HuffPost Parents is THE place to find the funniest parenting tweets each week. Some of those gems leave us shouting Yes! Exactly! And some leave us asking the question that all parents ask, What the hell?

What sparks the tweets that make us laugh out loud? We just had to find out. So, we asked 10 of the contributors to The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets to share the back story to one of their favorite tweets. As expected, they did not disappoint.

@MaryWiddicks: My 1-year-old has a new hobby: Naked climbing. He proudly strips off his clothes and diaper, then scales whatever piece of furniture strikes his fancy. The other morning I found him precariously balanced with one foot on a chair and one on the bookshelf. We made eye contact from across the room: Me with a look of horror and forbidding, and him with a mischievous grin. Before I could pluck him from his perch, he grabbed hold of the bookshelf and peed full-force, like one of those cherub statues in a fountain.

@CrazyExhaustion: I dragged my sorry self out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen, a solid three hours of sleep in the books (thank you, children). Fruit and cereal thrown together for the kids’ breakfast, and I set out to find some toothpicks I could use to prop my eyes open. In the midst of my quest to stay awake and be the responsible adult, dammit, I swiped my hand across the counter to dispose of some dried fruit that had fallen overboard during my gourmet breakfast preparations. Without thinking — or looking — I popped them into my mouth and went about my business. As they suddenly crunched under my teeth, I realized that I couldn’t recall any fruit in our house that should be crunchy…

@tchrquotes: My 6yo went to a birthday party and just kept eating. Cake, candy, fruit, pizza and punch. I was a little concerned, but he (unlike his older brother) had never really had a problem with overeating to the point of making himself sick. I decided to back off and let him enjoy himself. As bedtime approached, things were looking good. It wasn’t until about 3 a.m. that I realized I’d made a horrible mistake.

@LindaInDisguise: If you only saw the front seat of my car, you’d probably assume I was a decent human being. The minute you look behind — NO! DON’T LOOK! — You saw it, didn’t you? The back seat is a pigsty. I tackle it every now and then but not often enough. Jackets and water bottles and toys and… petrified fast food? Oh, grosssssss. Damn kids.

@PJTLynch: I was sitting on the couch, zoning out a bit on my phone, while our 9-month-old baby played on the floor. As babies will do, he was going from toy to toy, picking each one up and at some point putting his mouth on it. I wasn’t paying close attention, but when you have a baby you’re always at a certain state of alert, so I perked up when out of the corner of my eye I saw him pick up some gnarled black thing off the floor. From where I was it looked like it could have been an old French fry or a chewed-up pen cap. Whatever it was, he picked it up and gave it a look of utter disgust, as if to say, “I can’t believe this thing even exists.” Then, with what I swear was an “Oh well,” shrug, he popped it in his mouth.

—————————–

@TheBeardedIris: I’m currently shopping for a sandblaster to remove the fossilized boy urine from the wainscoting of my powder room. Is he impersonating a fire hose in there? What. The. Hell?

—————————–

@FatherWithTwins: I know the sound is coming. No matter how many controls and countermeasures I put into place, its coming. No matter how many warnings I give my children, it’s coming. I can spend all night with them, but if I leave the room for 30 seconds to use the bathroom or start the bath–CRASH!–over goes the toy box.

At that point, I’m faced with two options: 1) Force them to clean it up, which will take about three hours, or 2) Clean it up myself. I usually choose option two and have a relaxing evening of stepping on the small pieces I missed or pulling them out of the dog’s mouth.

@TheAlexNevil: What’s surprising is that something with a relatively few parts should be this much of a problem. A should attach to B. A SHOULD #%*£!@-ING ATTACH TO B!! A rubber mallet shouldn’t be required to convince A and B they’d make a really great couple. The joy one expects to get from putting a child’s gift together is replaced by unintelligible rantings of a deranged lunatic. It’s during this time there’s a realization: either I will break this beast or it will break me.

—————————–

@qwertygirl: I volunteered to help organize an event at the school. The woman who ran the committee missed four of the first five meetings without notifying us, insisted that we use her friends and relatives as vendors, and accused the PTO president (not me) of micro-managing everyone when she finally attended a meeting and took some notes on her iPad. The committee head didn’t understand why I dropped off the committee, and sent me an email, cc’ing every other committee member, asking me to justify myself. She was shocked when I refused to reply.

@maughammom: The habit of kissing my kids’ boo-boos has backfired on me more than once. I probably should’ve stopped after the first time my son made me kiss a scrape on his stinky foot. But when my sweet daughter came at me with a distressed look on her face and her finger in the air, my mom-instincts took over and I kissed it. She looked so confused …

Find even more funny from these parents (and others) in The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets. You can connect with Jessica on Facebook.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Tell Me Again

Tell Me Again


What do red boots, frozen dreams, and a flower princess all have in common? They’re all original fairytales retold with a new slant by Leah Cutter in the collection, “Tell Me Again.” Also included is an original piece, a fairytale about retelling stories, sharing myths. Tales include: “Red Boots” – A retelling of the Hans Christian Anderson tale, “The Red Shoes.” However, she’s a country-western dancer, so it’s “The Red Boots.” Originally published in the anthology, “Black Heart, Ivory Bones.” “Gulkhanam” – A retelling of the Kashmiri fairy tale, “The Flower Princess.” What if the earth the prince is buried in has a bloodlust that gets passed to him? Originally published in Talesbones Magazine #16. “Cold Comfort” – Based on the Siberian myth that the northern lights are dreams trapped in the ice. What if those dreams are mined and sold to shape the future of children? Originally published on the SDO online magazine, then republished in “The Best of SDO.” “One Fall Day – Magic requires the life of another. If the life the magician chooses isn’t strong enough, they’ll Diminish their own soul. But Catriana is tired of killing. Can she find a different life source, a new way to do magic? Original fiction, never before published!

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Hey, Mom. Tell Rod.

Hey, Mom. Tell Rod.


SYNOPSIS: In the city of Seattle, Washington, Rodney and Maggie Smythe receive a message on Rodney’s telephone answering machine from Maggie’s son Danny by a former marriage, saying “Hey, mom, tell Rod I am coming home, see ya’ soon.”. Danny and Rodney, step-son and step-father, have had a strained relationship since Rodney and Maggie were married. The message sends Rodney and Maggie into hours of arguments, wild goose chases, unanswered questions and dead end situations. They call airlines and Amtrak to find him and his family on their passenger lists. Unable to find them they decide to drive to the Amtrak Station to meet a train they think may be the one they are on, only to come up empty handed. While they are off on this wild goose chase, Danny, Angelique and Danny Junior arrive at Rodney and Maggie’s home, park their car in the garage and fall into bed exhausted. Hours later Rodney and Maggie return home exhausted and saddened having not found them at the train station. On his way to bed Rodney stumbles over the luggage left by Danny in the hallway. They hear a baby crying and decide to bring the “hungry” Danny Junior into the study for a visit. Minutes later Angelique screams from the bedroom. Why has Danny left a lucrative position in a large law firm in Los Angeles to return to university?

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How to Tell Airlines, Hotels, and More That It’s Your Honeymoon (and Why You Should)

Ahh, the honeymoon! It's the one classic trip that could easily see some upgrades come your way, but before hotels, airlines, and restaurants can offer up some congratulatory perks, they've gotta know, right? The…




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Girl's Best Friend - SuperJeweler.com

Enough: 10 Things We Should Tell Teenage Girls

Enough: 10 Things We Should Tell Teenage Girls


You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough. In a book based on her run-away blog post “Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls,” which garnered more than 2 million views in two weeks, Kate Conner calls us to action in Enough. We all have teenage girls in our lives who we love, whether it’s a sister, friend, or daughter. Kate has identified 10 things these girls need to hear today from someone who loves her. Peppered with wit and laced with grace, Kate’s list tackles relevant issues like Facebook, emotions, drama, tanning beds, modesty, and flirtation. Woven into each chapter is a powerful message of worth that transcends age, and will touch the souls of women, young and old alike: You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough. A former youth-worker, wife to a college minister, and a young mom in her twenties, Conner stands squarely in generational gap, the perfect place from which to bridge it. Conner offers herself as a translator, helping you to speak your teenager’s language and equipping you with a fresh perspective from which to engage your teenage girl-one that may enable her to truly hear your heart (and your wisdom) for the first time since puberty.

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5 Things You Should Tell Yourself Before You Go To Bed

Why is it when we always lie down for bed, we’re suddenly flooded with negative thoughts, worst-case scenarios and scads of mental to-do lists?

Getting the recommended amount of Zzz’s should be something we strive for, but our brains have a way of making those extra hours a little elusive. Ruminating over your worries as your head hits the pillow can put you on the fast track to a restless night. So, perhaps, the solution for drifting off to dreamland lies in what we tell ourselves before we crawl under the sheets.

If you’re looking for a little calm before shutting those eyes, try these five sleep mantras instead.

“I’m thankful for…”
watching sunset

What can’t gratitude do? Practicing thankfulness can increase our happiness levels, boost our immune systems and strengthen our relationships — and, yes, it can also help us sleep better. Before you go to bed, reflect on what you’re thankful for (or, better yet, write it down). You may sleep in the dark, but you’ll be looking at the bright side.

“Let it be.”
upset bed

Have you ever heard of the saying “never go to bed angry”? Research shows reflecting on negative emotions after we crawl into bed makes it less likely that we’ll get adequate rest, according to a 2012 study.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to resolve all conflicts before going to sleep (in fact, as Women’s Health reported earlier this year, it may work in your benefit to wait until the morning), you should clear your mind of anxieties when you shut those eyes. Whether the conflict requires an apology, a pause or just some time to talk it out, make sure you have peace of mind before you hit the pillow.

“I am strong.”
accomplishment

Or — if you prefer another adjective — kind, brave and loved all work, too. The point is to reflect on your accomplishments, strengths and characteristics. A 2014 study suggests that self-acceptance is crucial to a happier life, yet we rarely practice it. We could all use a little boost — and aren’t these positive thoughts infinitely nicer to think about than the mishap we had at work that day?

“How can I make this better?”
thinking creative

If you’re stuck in a creative rut, try asking yourself the specific question you’ve been trying to solve right as you go to bed. According to best-selling author Steven Kotler, your solution might lie in your sleeping brain through lucid dreaming. “It is pretty easy to ask the intrinsic system a question … Out loud or silently, doesn’t seem to matter,” he writes in a Psychology Today post on hacking creativity. You may just land on that “aha!” moment you’ve been consciously striving for.

“I will find calm.”
calm outside

If you have been tossing and turning for a while, you may find solace in focusing on one calming phrase, according to wellness expert Deepak Chopra, M.D. Repeat the mantra silently to yourself. If you find yourself becoming distracted, gently return your thoughts to just the repetition of that phrase. Check out these suggestions for more calming mantras to try.

This GPS Guide is part of a series of posts designed to bring you back to balance when you’re feeling off course.

GPS Guides are our way of showing you what has relieved others’ stress in the hopes that you will be able to identify solutions that work for you. We all have de-stressing “secret weapons” that we pull out in times of tension or anxiety, whether they be photos that relax us or make us smile, songs that bring us back to our heart, quotes or poems that create a feeling of harmony or meditative exercises that help us find a sense of silence and calm. We encourage you to visit our other GPS Guides here, and share with us your own personal tips for finding peace, balance and tranquility.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
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Print Magazine Covers Tell The Most Powerful Stories Of 2014

Though 2014 proved to be another troubling year for the print industry, Americans remained as transfixed by magazine covers as ever.

While today one can gather news from a plethora of high-speed, digital platforms, there is still something to be said for the way a bold headline, a striking photograph and a sheet of glossy paper can capture the day’s biggest stories and most iconic personalities.

From a man kneeling with his hands up amid the unrest in Ferguson, Missouri, to Lupita Nyong’o posing in a red and white floral dress to the Advocate naming Russian president Vladimir Putin its “Person of the Year,” magazines covers reflected the arc of politics, protests, culture and celebrity throughout 2014.

Check out some of the year’s most unforgettable covers:

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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Blue & Cream x Gianni “It Ain’t Hard To Tell” Sweatshirt

Blue & Cream x Gianni “It Ain’t Hard To Tell” Sweatshirt


Blue & cream X Gianni “It Ain’t Hard to Tell” Sweatshirt – L. “It Ain’t Hard to Tell”, Nas’s second single of his debut album “Illmatic”, was released January 18th, 1994 taking samples from Michael Jackson, Kool & the Gang and Stanley Clarke. This sweatshirt, inspired by Isabel Marant, pays homage to this iconic year in hip-hop history. Cut from the softest cotton, this pullover will add a cool athletic appeal to your look.

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How To Tell Which Emotions to Trust and Which are Lies | #OWNSHOW | Oprah Winfrey Network

Acclaimed pastor and spiritual leader Rob Bell tackles life’s big questions in an all-new primetime special “The Rob Bell Show” premiering Sunday, Dec. 21st on OWN. He shares ways you can identify your emotions and navigate the waters to a better you.

Find OWN on TV at http://www.oprah.com/FindOWN

SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1vqD1PN

#OWNSHOW is a digital exclusive web-show on Oprah.com. Packaged into stackable moments, the show brings together stories, life-tips, and personalities from Oprah.com, OWN, and O Magazine with interactive elements from YOU, the community. www.oprah.com/ownshow

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

Discover OWN TV:
Find OWN on your TV!: http://bit.ly/1wJ0ugI
Our Fantastic Lineup: http://bit.ly/1qMi2jE

Connect with OWN Online:
Visit the OWN WEBSITE: http://bit.ly/1qMi2jE
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How To Tell Which Emotions to Trust and Which are Lies | #OWNSHOW | Oprah Winfrey Network
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Christmas Came Early! Hear Ariana Grande’s New Song “Santa Tell Me”

Well played, Grande: After mesmerizing us with her insanely talented Problem/Break Free/Love Me Harder medley at last night's American Music Awards, Ariana Grande seized the moment to release her latest Christmas single, "Santa Tell Me"….




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Book Promoting 101: How to Tell the World about Your Book

Book Promoting 101: How to Tell the World about Your Book


The publishing industry is rapidly changing into an entirely new game, offering more ways to get published and many new avenues to promote books. Do you understand the new POD method of publishing and printing books, and what it means for you? Just as you develop an outline for writing your book, you should have a marketing plan to guide you in promoting it. Book Promoting 101 offers tips, guest articles, a sample book marketing plan and industry news. Tips discuss website design, good cover design, to how to write a sales sheet and how to promote your book online and in person. Written by a publisher, Book Promoting 101 will show you how to get started early, even while you are writing your book, and walk you through ways to continually promote you and your writing. Learn: How to build a marketing plan How to sell books online and in person How to set up a website and blog How to use Facebook, online social networking and marketing How to attract readers to your website How to use both professional reviews and reader reviews Tips for book signings, group signings, book fairs and other events Examples and advice from published authors and marketing experts How to track sales on Amazon, including where you sell books Over the years I ve seen many fine books written that failed to find their readership. Book Promoting 101 overflows with practical and contemporary information regarding how to get the finished book into the hands of readers — lots of readers. Want to create a sound strategy for selling your book? Book Promoting 101 provides a great road map. Karen Tolley, Bookseller Visit the blog at www.bookpromoting101.com
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The Struggle to Reach Out and Tell the Climate Story

2014-09-19-earthcrying.jpg
Photo Credit: Lightspring / Shutterstock.com

“Nope, no. No. Nuh-uh. These aren’t good.”

I’m sitting next to one of my instructors at the University of Southern California’s Annenberg School of Journalism where I’m taking a course in multimedia. We’re going through a series of photographs I’d taken for an assignment and he’s critiquing them.

“The photos don’t make me feel anything,” he says.

The day before, I had gone out to shoot photos with an agenda: to find a story about climate change and how it affects people — the same thing I do every day at work. I intended to find a science person to interview about the California drought and work in a climate change angle. But that was not going to happen. The instructors had given us an insanely tight deadline for a series of assignments — all due simultaneously — and restricted the location for our stories. On top of that, I was struggling with unfamiliar equipment.

The instructors also told us not to get blocked into our initial vision. But I was blocked and I was ticked off, too. It was obvious that I was not going to have my way. I felt like I was being pressed into an assignment that was impossible to complete within the allotted time frame. And frankly, I also thought the assignment was beyond my skill set and unrealistic for me.

But the assignment was due and there was no way I was going to quit. I was out in the field, walking around, and I absolutely had to find a stranger, interview him or her and make it work, period, end of story, done. Wandering through my assigned neighborhood, I stopped to admire a well-groomed garden in the front yard of one of the homes. When the homeowner, Migdalia Collazo, walked out onto her porch, I asked if she would allow me to photograph and interview her.

During that first photo shoot, I focused on composition, color, light and context, thinking that was the route to a compelling shot. But my photos were lacking the most important element: a compelling story, something to feel.

After the critique, my teacher’s words stayed with me, reverberating in my head:

The photos don’t make me feel anything.
The photos don’t make me feel anything.
The photos don’t make me feel anything.

As a climate and Earth science communicator, I find this is the biggest challenge. We’re in a constant fight to capture attention, to move people, to make them care about how their behavior is affecting Earth.

To feel something.

But we get caught up with logical analysis of facts and don’t understand why many people don’t hear our stories. This is incredibly frustrating because, for us, climate change is so important, so dire, such a big deal. We desperately want to reach out and let our stories be told, to find the right way for the meaning to get through.

So from now on, I’m committed. My goal is to find a way to inspire you to feel something.

I look forward to reading your comments,
Laura

This post originally appeared on NASA’s Earth Right Now blog.

This blog post is part of the #WhyICare blog series, curated by the editors of HuffPost Generation Change in recognition of the People’s Climate March in New York City on September 21, 2014. To see all the other posts in the series, click here.

Join the conversation on Twitter and tell us why you care about the climate crisis with the hashtags #WhyICare and #PCM. For more information about the People’s Climate March, click here.



Arts – The Huffington Post
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Book Promoting 101: How To Tell The World About Your Book

Book Promoting 101: How To Tell The World About Your Book


The publishing industry is rapidly changing into an entirely new game, offering more ways to get published and many new avenues to promote books. Do you understand the new POD method of publishing and printing books, and what it means for you?

Just as you develop an outline for writing your book, you should have a marketing plan to guide you in promoting it. Book Promoting 101 offers tips, guest articles, a sample book marketing plan and industry news. Tips discuss website design, good cover design, to how to write a sales sheet and how to promote your book online and in person.

Written by a publisher, Book Promoting 101 will show you how to get started early, even while you are writing your book, and walk you through ways to continually promote you and your writing.

Learn:
. How to build a marketing plan
. How to sell books online and in person
. How to set up a website and blog
. How to use Facebook, online social networking and marketing
. How to attract readers to your website
. How to use both professional reviews and reader reviews
. Tips for book signings, group signings, book fairs and other events
. Examples and advice from published authors and marketing experts
. How to track sales on Amazon, including where you sell books!

Over the years I''ve seen many fine books written that failed to find their readership. Book Promoting 101 overflows with practical and contemporary information regarding how to get the finished book into the hands of readers — lots of readers. Want to create a sound strategy for selling your book? Book Promoting 101 provides a great road map.
-Karen Tolley, Bookseller

Visit the blog at www.bookpromoting101.com
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The Little Lies You Tell Yourself Every Day, Gorgeously Illustrated

“I’ll get up early and go to the gym tomorrow.” “I’ll just have one cookie.” “Tonight I’m going to finish reading Infinite Jest instead of Netflixing ‘30 Rock’ again.” Sure you will! But don’t feel too bad if you don’t — we all, from time to time, make these optimistic promises to ourselves, knowing how likely we are to break them.

In her new book, Daily Dishonesty: The Beautiful Little Lies We Tell Ourselves Every Day (Abrams Image, September 2), Lauren Hom has brought this ubiquitous habit into the spotlight, crafting elegant, hand-lettered illustrations for common white lies we tell ourselves: “These heels don’t hurt”; “I’ll just have a salad”; “I’m over it.” It was her own tendency to embellish her future plans that inspired the project, she explains, saying that she and her roommate were describing what they intended to do with their free time when they realized they simply didn’t have any.

Hom’s illustrations play cleverly with our expectations of presentation versus message; as she notes, “When I first started Daily Dishonesty, I was just beginning to dabble in hand lettering and typography. I noticed that most of the work out there was beautiful, but the subject matter was kind of soft –­ mostly inspirational sayings and quotes from movies.“ By presenting an obviously tongue-in-cheek message in such traditionally Pinterest-quote packaging, the illustrations subtly satirize the pervasive inspirational-saying culture while nonetheless celebrating its aesthetics.

In a way, the book embodies this meeting place between snark and positivity, in spirit as well as in aesthetic. While it goodnaturedly punctures the widespread earnestness of Pinterest-y inspirational illustrating, suggesting that such beautiful, and beautifully delivered, messages are unlikely to be lived up to in reality, the illustrations themselves carry a note of (inspiring) comfort — after all, we may be lying to ourselves about the salad, but it’s okay; everyone is doing it. We’re all in this together. Hom herself points out, “These little lies have even become a part of our culture,” and not in a bad way. “They help us make light of life’s little quirks.”

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Photos courtesy of Lauren Hom; Abrams Image, 2014

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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How To Tell The Difference Between ‘In Like’ And ‘In Love,’ According To Science

We all know there’s a difference between being “in like” with someone and being “in love,” but it’s often hard to tell how the other person feels about you.

A new study about love and lust, recently published in Psychological Science, discovered how to tell if a person is feeling the romantic, long-term will-you-marry-me kind of love or the more common I-just-want-to-have-sex-with-you sexual lust.

It turns out, the answer lies in how they look at you.

Researchers from the University of Chicago conducted two studies on a group of heterosexual undergrads. In the first study, participants looked at a set of 120 photographs of couples and were asked if the photos elicited feelings of romantic love or sexual desire. Sexual desire was defined as an increase in sexual thoughts and fantasies toward a target, whereas love was defined as a sentimental and tender state that made participants long for a union.

Afterwards, the participants were shown the same photographs and asked simply to look at them and think about their feelings. While students were gazing at the photographs, their eye movements were tracked and recorded to determine where on the photo they fixated most and for how long.

In the second study, participants were given 80 photographs of individuals of the opposite sex and asked if they could possibly feel love toward or lust toward them. Again, their eye movements were tracked.

At the end of both studies, the results were pretty clear: “Subjects were more likely to fixate on the face when making decisions about romantic love,” the researchers wrote. “Judgments that involved lust elicited more eye fixations toward the body.”

Indeed, as the authors point out, “Mutual eye gaze is one of the most reliable markers of love between couples.”

So if your S.O. spends more time looking at your face than looking at your butt, odds are good that he or she is in it for the long haul.

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5 Ways To Tell If Your Husband Is Lying

Lie detector expert and former federal law enforcement investigator Janine Driver tells us the subtle ways to spot deception.

As told to Kate Rockwood

1. He Sounds a Little Funny

Liars are sometimes called “fast talkers,” but the speed of their speech varies as much as an honest person’s within a conversation. Yet liars will alter their speech rates within a single sentence. Typically a liar might begin to speak slowly, because he’s trying to figure out his lie—but once it comes into his head, he tries to spit it out as fast as possible.

Pace isn’t the only speech pattern that can trip up a deceiver. Research has shown that a person’s vocal tone will waiver from baseline in up to 95 percent of all deceptive statements. If your partner’s baritone is on the rise, you may be facing a fib.

2. He Slips a Verbal Clue

Remembering the truth about what happened Saturday and the story he wants you to believe is a big mental burden. Many liars will buckle under the strain and make a verbal faux pas, like start-stop sentences (“There are many that I didn’t—I hardly had any contact with her.”), using past and present tenses in the same story or repeating your question rather than answering it.

Even if he doesn’t stumble, his sentences could signal deception: Studies have shown that liars tend to drop pronouns from their speech, as a way to verbally distance themselves from the lie. “I got up this morning, I called my mother, went to work, grabbed a bite with Jim.” The person used two pronouns up front and then dropped them afterward—why? There may be more to his story than he’s letting on.

3. His Face Flashes Contempt

Nearly 50 years ago, a researcher discovered that all humans share seven microexpressions—universal ways that emotions are hard-wired to flash across our faces. Whether you’re male or female, black or white, young or old, if you’re surprised, you make the same fleeting expression. These microexpressions are impossible to fake—which makes spotting one the closest thing we have to mindreading.

Contempt—a feeling of moral superiority and disrespect—is one of the most dangerous microexpressions for a relationship: Contempt shows up as a half-smile smirk, with only one side of the mouth raised. It signals, “I’ve justified my lie. I’m getting away with it. You’re a fool.” Researchers can see contempt on chronic cheaters who think they’re too smart to get caught.

4. His Body Is Trying to Run and Hide

Unless someone is incredibly savvy in body language, you can tell where he wants to be in a conversation. People align their belly buttons with the objects of their interest. If he started the conversation with his navel pointed straight at you, and now his body is twisted toward the door, he is aching to leave—that could indicate a hot spot for deception.

When a liar is faced with questions he doesn’t want to answer, he may unwittingly cover his eyes, mouth or entire face with his hand, arm or a pair of sunglasses in a subconscious attempt to disappear. Pinocchios may start to squint, as if trying to block you from seeing the truth. Just be sure to put body-blocking behavior in perspective—your husband’s baseball cap pulled down low isn’t a red flag if he wears it every day.

5. He Makes You Feel Off-Balance

Practiced liars are uniquely able to distort reality and make us feel like the floor is shifting underneath us, that something odd is afoot, but we just can’t put our finger on it. He may spout false information with such conviction that it makes you start to question your own recollections. This particular type of manipulation is called “gaslighting.” Standard gaslighter lines include, “I never said that—stop making things up,” “How come you are always accusing me of horrible things?” and “What is wrong with you? You are so paranoid.” If you get to the end of a conversation and wonder, “Hey, wait a second, what just happened?”—remember that as a generally trusting person, you are a great gauge of dishonesty. Give yourself permission to follow those whiffs of suspicion and to investigate further.

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First Look: Will Marcus Tell Dominique the Truth? – For Better or Worse – Oprah Winfrey Network

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Keisha asks Marcus to spend some time with her daughter, Dominique, and he agrees to out of concern for her. Keisha doesn’t want Dominique to find out that Marcus is not her father, but will Marcus keep her secret?

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The Skinny: What Every Skinny Woman Knows (And Won't Tell You!)

The Skinny: What Every Skinny Woman Knows (And Won't Tell You!)


Ever wonder how skinny women stay skinny?  (Hint: it''s not their metabolism.)Forget diet books.  You''ve read them.  You''ve tried them.  You''ve lost five pounds . . . and gained back six.  It''s time you learned the truth about weight loss from those who know–the skinny women who have successfully (and secretly) dropped pounds and stayed slim.Do skinny women skip breakfast? Taint half their portions with salt, pepper–or Clorox–to make sure they don''t eat it? You bet they do.  You''ll get the inside story on the dieting tricks, shortcuts, and closely guarded secrets of women who stay a perfect size 6 . . . forever.  From using depression to lose weight (God makes you miserable for a reason) to the calories you unintentionally consume in cough syrup . . . or by licking a stamp, everything you really need to know about losing weight is right here in the first anti-diet diet book.  So put on a pair of tight jeans (you''ll find out why), say no to bagels, sprinkle sweetener and cinnamon on just about anything, and start reading.
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What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Fibromyalgia Fatigue: The Powerful Program That Helps You Boost Your Energy and Reclaim Yo

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Fibromyalgia Fatigue: The Powerful Program That Helps You Boost Your Energy and Reclaim Yo


– "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibromyalgia (Warner, 1999), also by Dr. St. Amand and Claudia Craig Marek, has netted over 120,000 copies and has a monthly reorder rate of 3,000 copies. This book will serve as a companion to the hundreds of thousands of readers currently following the protocol outlined in that book.- Other titles on this subject frequently appear on Ingram’s "A-list" for health books, including "Fibromyalgia (Walker & Co., 1996), which has over 350,000 copies in print, and "Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (New Harbinger Publications, 1996), which has over one million copies in print.- Dr. St. Amand discovered guaifenesin’s use as a treatment for fibromyalgia, and his work is often cited. he is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Medicine and is on the teaching staff at UCLA Harbor General Hospital. He has been in practice for over 40 years.
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The Parent Soup Baby Name Finder: Real Advice from Real Parents Who Have Named Their Babies and Lived to Tell about It…

The Parent Soup Baby Name Finder: Real Advice from Real Parents Who Have Named Their Babies and Lived to Tell about It…


When you need advice from other parents who have named their babies and lived to tell the tale Your husband wants a junior. Your mother keeps hinting at an archaic family name. Your best friend is pushing the name Jeremiah. And you haven’t even started thinking about what will happen if the baby is a girl Take a deep breath because help is at hand. Parent Soup–the ultimate on-line destination for parents–has collected more than 15,000 names from its popular "Baby Name Finder" and the best advice from real parents who have already played the name game. Read this book and get insight on everything you need to know when choosing a name, such as:

  • How to deal with flak from family and friends You’ll learn how to answer the question, "You’re going to name the baby what? "
  • Surefire ways to end the spouse wars Yes, there is hope when you say John and he says Gianni (and you’re wondering if you really want to have a child with this person).
  • How to know when you’ve found a keeper Learn to recognize when it’s time to put away the books and start getting used to the name you’ll be saying at least 37 times a day from now on.

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What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Fibromyalgia: The Revolutionary Treatment That Can Reverse the Disease

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Fibromyalgia: The Revolutionary Treatment That Can Reverse the Disease


– "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibromyalgia (Warner, 1999), also by Dr. St. Amand and Claudia Craig Marek, has netted over 120,000 copies and has a monthly reorder rate of 3,000 copies. This book will serve as a companion to the hundreds of thousands of readers currently following the protocol outlined in that book.- Other titles on this subject frequently appear on Ingram’s "A-list" for health books, including "Fibromyalgia (Walker & Co., 1996), which has over 350,000 copies in print, and "Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (New Harbinger Publications, 1996), which has over one million copies in print.- Dr. St. Amand discovered guaifenesin’s use as a treatment for fibromyalgia, and his work is often cited. he is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Medicine and is on the teaching staff at UCLA Harbor General Hospital. He has been in practice for over 40 years.
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What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibromyalgia

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibromyalgia


– “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibromyalgia (Warner, 1999), also by Dr. St. Amand and Claudia Craig Marek, has netted over 120,000 copies and has a monthly reorder rate of 3,000 copies. This book will serve as a companion to the hundreds of thousands of readers currently following the protocol outlined in that book.- Other titles on this subject frequently appear on Ingram’s “A-list” for health books, including “Fibromyalgia (Walker & Co., 1996), which has over 350,000 copies in print, and “Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (New Harbinger Publications, 1996), which has over one million copies in print.- Dr. St. Amand discovered guaifenesin’s use as a treatment for fibromyalgia, and his work is often cited. he is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Medicine and is on the teaching staff at UCLA Harbor General Hospital. He has been in practice for over 40 years.
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What Doctors Don’t Tell You: The Vaccination Guide: What Every Parent Needs to Know

What Doctors Don’t Tell You: The Vaccination Guide: What Every Parent Needs to Know


What Doctors Don’t Tell You is a monthly magazine that has been researching medicine – alternative and conventional – since 1989, and has discovered alternatives really can work (and much of conventional medicine doesn’t). Its research is thorough, extensive and persuasive, and it has given hope and inspiration to hundreds of thousands of people who just want to be well. Now, in association with What Doctors Don’t Tell You, Hay House is publishing an exciting new series of books, each focusing on a common health condition or concern, to help readers make informed decisions about their health, and the health of their families. The series launches with four titles. The Vaccine Bible: Are vaccines for our children really safe? Discover what every parent wants to know–and what no government will tell them.

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Time Will Tell (Unabridged)

Time Will Tell (Unabridged)


Set in the East End of London and in Surrey, Time Will Tell opens towards the end of World War II, during an air-raid. Joan gives birth to a son just as a bomb hits the hospital….
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