Anna Sorokin Found Guilty of Grand Larceny

Anna Sorokin has been found guilty of grand larceny.
Sorokin, who posed under the fake name of Anna Delvey and stole more than $ 200,000 from investors, banks and many of her friends, was convicted on Thursday on multiple charges, including one count of first-degree attempted grand larceny, second-degree grand larceny and theft of services, after a monthlong trial in State Supreme Court in Manhattan, according to the New York Times. She faces up to 15 years in prison.
The 28-year-old was charged in 2017 after posing as a fake German heiress and New York socialite, swindling bank loans and funds to pay for her lavish lifestyle, which included stays at luxury New York hotels, international getaways and her designer wardrobe.
She had also attempted — and failed — to raise a reported $ 22 million to open an exclusive arts club in Manhattan, which she received another charge of first-degree grand larceny. The jury found her not guilty for this charge.
Aside from the charges, Sorokin’s court appearances made headlines due to her sartorial choices. Per GQ, Sorokin’s lawyer, Todd Spodek, hired stylist Anastasia Walker to help dress Sorokin for her court appearances in designer labels such as Michael Kors, Saint Laurent and Victoria Beckham,

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Michael Cohen Pleads Guilty to Making False Statements About Russia Deal

WASHINGTON — The drumbeat of activity surrounding Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation continued on Thursday, as President Donald Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen plead guilty to making false statements to Congress about his attempts to secure a deal to build a Trump Tower in Moscow. Cohen entered the plea in a New York federal […]



Lana Del Rey and Jared Leto Are Faces of New Gucci Guilty Campaign

FRIGHT NIGHT: Gucci is getting ready to tell a new scent story with Jared Leto and Lana Del Rey. Channeling the same unconventional spirit as the soon-to-be launched campaign, the fashion house will host a party in Los Angeles’ Hollywood Forever Cemetery Friday night to formally announce Leto and Del Rey as the new faces of its Gucci Guilty fragrances.
Both are noted Los Angeles-based musicians; Leto is the lead vocalist and songwriter for the multiplatinum selling band Thirty Seconds to Mars and also an Academy Award-winning actor, while Del Rey is an Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter known for her stylized cinematic quality and glamour.

Jared Leto wearing Gucci to the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in March.</p>
Courtesy of Getty Images

Leto and Del Rey will attend the event, joining Gucci’s creative director Alessandro Michele. The enigmatic, eclectic and glamorous duo will show off these sides of their characters in the campaign’s video and images, which also reveal the new bottle design for Gucci Guilty Pour Femme.
Also in attendance will be Courtney Love, recording the night as it unfolds on the Stories of Gucci Beauty’s Instagram account. The singer-songwriter and actress has a guest appearance in the new campaign, which was directed by Glen Luchford with

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House of Horrors Dad Accused of Lewd Act on Child as Couple Plead Not Guilty to Abuse Charges

The California couple who allegedly abused and held captive their 13 children pleaded not guilty Thursday to torture, abuse, and false imprisonment charges.

David Allen Turpin, 57, and Louis Anna Turpin, 49, of Perris, were charged with 12 counts of torture, seven counts of abuse of a dependent adult, six counts of child abuse or neglect and 12 counts of false imprisonment, Riverside County District Attorney Michael Hestrin said in a press release.

David Turpin was also charged with one count of lewd act on a child under the age of 14 by force, fear, or duress.

Both of the Turpins — who wore dark suits and, according to CBS News, showed no emotion at their arraignment — are next due in court Feb. 23.

If convicted, each faces up to 94 years to life in prison.

RELATED: Prosecutor Details Alleged Abuse in House of Horrors: Beatings, Starvation, Showers Once a Year

The Turpins were arrested after their 17-year-old daughter, who had allegedly been planning her escape for two years, climbed through one of the windows of their home early on Sunday and called 911 using a disconnected cell phone she had found, authorities have said.

Police allege that the 13 Turpin children — ranging in ages from 2 to 29 — were found living in squalor, with some “shackled” to furniture.

At a news conference Thursday, authorities alleged that the children were allowed to shower no more than once a year and were regularly fed very little. They alleged the kids were restrained by ropes and later chains as a form of punishment.

• Want to keep up with the latest crime coverage? Click here to get breaking crime news, ongoing trial coverage and details of intriguing unsolved cases in the True Crime Newsletter.

Malnutrition apparently stunted their growth, Hestrin said. One of the victims, 12, has the weight of an average 7-year-old, police said. The 29-year-old victim weighed just 82 pounds when found.

Medical officials treating the siblings say they face a long recovery.

“In more than 20 years as a prosecutor in Riverside County, this is one of the most disturbing cases I’ve seen,” Hestrin said in his press release Thursday. “We are fully prepared to seek justice in this case and to do so in a way that protects all of these victims from further harm.”

RELATED: Parents Arrested After Their 12 Children—Ages 2 to 29—Allegedly Found Shackled and Malnourished

Meanwhile, authorities said two Maltese terriers found in the home are healthy and trained.

“The animals, one white and one black, appear healthy and friendly and are leash-trained, according to Christina Avila, a senior animal control officer,” a press release from the City of Perris said of the two female one-year-old dogs, who are siblings.

Authorities released images of the two seemingly well-fed dogs, who are being put up for adoption.

Expecting high interest in the pair – who must be adopted together – the City of Perris will hold a raffle to place the dogs in a new home, according to the release.

Prosecutor: ‘It is a Horrible Case’

Speaking to reporters after their court hearing on Thursday, attorneys for David and Louise declined to comment beyond broad reactions about the allegations against them.

“It doesn’t get much more serious in terms of severity of the conduct being alleged and also the exposure in prison,” said Jeff Moore, Louise’s attorney.

He tells PEOPLE, “The allegations carry life in state prison. In terms of possible sentences this is about as serious as it gets.”

Echoing that, David’s attorney, David Macher, says, “It is a very serious case. Anytime you are talking about a century of imprisonment is a very serious case.”

Prosecutor Kevin Beecham says, “It is a horrible case. It is unfortunate for everyone involved. Thank goodness they are out now.”

If you have any information about this family or these alleged crimes, please call Senior District Attorney Investigator Wade D. Walsvick  at 951-955-5400.

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Selena Gomez Opens Up About Battle with Lupus and Feeling ‘Guilty’ About Her Fame

Selena Gomez is looking at her battle with lupus and resulting kidney transplant as a “beautiful thing.”

In part two of her interview on Today with friend and kidney donor Francia Raisa, the 25-year-old singer said she doesn’t want anyone to feel bad for her.

“I don’t want people to think it’s a sad thing that I went through this with Francia or with anything in my life,” she told Savannah Guthrie. “Because at the end of the day, I think all the stuff that I went to made me and defined everything that I am right now. I think it’s a really beautiful thing, and I have to remind myself that it’s not a negative experience.”

Gomez said that she often pushed herself too hard despite her diagnosis in 2015.

“I don’t think I made the right decisions, because I didn’t accept it. It was extremely selfish and at the same time really, really just unnecessary,” she said. “I’m not really proud of that.”

When Guthrie suggested Gomez was being hard on herself, the former Disney Channel star replied, “That would be easier if I just accepted it, but I am definitely the hardest person on myself, for sure.”

Gomez took some time off last year to deal with anxiety, panic attacks and depression triggered by the autoimmune disease that affected her entire body from arthritis to low energy.

“I went away to a facility. I took some time off. I needed to get my mind right, be healthy,” she said. “I removed myself from everyone in my life.”

“We went six months without speaking,” Raisa, 29, said. “It was a huge lesson of friendship for me, and trust. Because it’s easy to feel offended or want to be there. It’s just, they need to go through their own thing.”

“I don’t think I ever accepted the position I had,” Gomez said. “It was me almost feeling guilty about fame, because people could see anyone in my position and say, ‘Wow, they’ve got it all figured out. They’ve got everything. They get to live this cool life.’”

However, the “Wolves” singer explained a lot of pressure comes with being in the spotlight.

“You’re isolated. You’re being looked at. You’re being judged. I’m always trying to be nice,” she said. “I want to be great. That’s genuinely who I am, deep down. But it just seemed pointless.”

RELATED VIDEO: Selena Gomez & Friend Francia Raisa Open Up About 2nd Emergency Surgery After Life-Saving Kidney Transplant

Last month PEOPLE spoke with a doctor who specializes in transplants for people with immune diseases including lupus, Robert Montgomery, MD, director of the Transplant Institute at NYU Langone Health. Dr. Montgomery told PEOPLE that it’s common for lupus to damage kidneys to the point where one or both need to be replaced. “Not every patient who gets lupus ends up with kidney failure, but some do,” he said.

When lupus patients need organ donations they are often added to a waiting list to be matched with a deceased donor, and they may have to go on dialysis for kidney failure while they wait months or even years. In Gomez’s case, she had Raisa to serve as her live donor, which Dr. Montgomery said is a “great advantage” because “live donor transplants last twice as long, on average, as deceased donor kidneys.”

Raisa said the experience brought them even closer. “I am beyond grateful that God would trust me with something that not only saved a life, but changed mine in the process,” she said.

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Slenderman Teen Found Not Guilty in Stabbing of Classmate by Reason of Mental Illness

One of two Wisconsin girls who stabbed a classmate in 2014 — in the name of a fictional Internet horror character known as Slenderman, they later claimed — will avoid prison after a jury determined Friday she was mentally ill at the time of the attack.

Anissa Weier, 15, was found not criminally responsible for her actions in the 2014 stabbing of classmate Payton Leutner, who was found by a passing cyclist on a bike path of a local park, fighting for her life and begging for help.

Leutner had been lured to the park on May 31, 2014, by Weier and fellow classmate Morgan Geyser. Geyser stabbed Leutner 19 times while Weier urged her on, investigators told the Associated Press. All three girls were 12 at the time.

Both Weier and Geyser told detectives they felt they had to kill Leutner, the AP reported, in an effort to become Slenderman’s servants — which they believed would protect their families from the demon’s wrath. They were both charged with attempted first-degree intentional homicide and initially pleaded not guilty by reason of mental illness or defect.

• Want to keep up with the latest crime coverage? Click here to get breaking crime news, ongoing trial coverage and details of intriguing unsolved cases in the True Crime Newsletter.

Weier made her first appearance in front of a jury of eight men and eight women on Tuesday in Waukesha County, Wisconsin, where her attorney, Joseph Smith, told jurors in court that her parent’s divorce caused a depressed that descended her into madness as she latched onto Geyser.

“Anissa’s broken mind caused her to lose touch with reality,” Smith said, according to the AP. “Anissa was under the command and control of a delusional disorder.”

That disorder, defense attorney Maura McMahon added in his closing arguments Friday according to the AP, left her believing Slenderman could teleport and read her mind. He would kill her or her family if she talked about him, she claimed.

Prosecutors argued differently, the AP reported, saying Anissa and friend Morgan Geyser “knew this was wrong, they understood what they were doing was wrong.”

On Friday, 10 of 12 jurors — the minimum required by law — voted Weier mentally ill, the AP reported. The same number (though not same jurors) voted she was not criminally responsible for her actions.

Prosecutors had recommend a 10-year prison sentence out of a maximum possible 25 years if Weier was not found mentally ill. Instead, she will go to a state mental hospital and not seek to be released for three years, according to local TV station WISN.

“We are disappointed in the jury’s decision,” the Leutner family said in a statement to PEOPLE. “The decision allows the assailant to petition the court every six months and request release into the community. Their decision also forces our family to relive this horrific crime every six months wondering if they will be released.”

“The potential release of an assailant that methodically planned and executed an attack in which our little girl was stabbed 19 times puts the community and our family at risk,” the statement continued. “It is deeply disappointing.”

Geyser’s trial is scheduled to begin on Oct. 16, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported. Her attorney told WISN they are hoping to negotiate a similar plea with prosecutors as was reached with Anissa.

A spokesman for Payton’s family previously told PEOPLE that she is “a strong young woman who is excelling in school and doing many things that a teenager would do with her family and friends.”

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Casey Anthony’s Former Bodyguard Says He Thinks She Is Guilty ‘Without a Doubt’

When Casey Anthony was initially bonded out of jail in 2008, she returned to her suburban Orlando home. The case was at its dramatic high point: protestors and media camped outside the house. Anthony’s 2-year-old daughter, Caylee, was still missing. Thousands of people were combing the area, looking for any sign of the girl.

But, according to a bodyguard who stayed in the home, Anthony was uninterested in the search.

Bodyguard Rob Dick spoke out for the first time on the podcast Allegedlyrecalling the “surreal” time when he was living inside the home with the Anthony family.

Almost immediately, Dick says he questioned Anthony’s behavior. “Here’s a mom in jail for the last 30 days, supposedly not knowing where her child is for 60 days now,” Dick recalled. “First question, what do you think it would be? ‘Have you heard anything?’ ”

Dick says that Anthony seemed uninterested in her daughter’s whereabouts. “She was just completely happy, excited to see her parents,” he said. “She asked, ‘What’s for dinner? Jail food sucks.’ ”

Eight years later, Dick says that he remains baffled at the attention given to the case. “There are lots of women out there that killed their kid. And I do say killed their kid,” Dick said. When one of the hosts asked Dick if he thought Anthony was guilty, he responded quickly: “Yes. Without a doubt. I think everybody knew she did it.”

• Want to keep up with the latest crime coverage? Click here to get breaking crime news, ongoing trial coverage and details of intriguing unsolved cases in the True Crime Newsletter.

But despite Dick’s belief in her guilt, a jury acquitted Anthony, who remains in seclusion in Florida. She is still described as one of the most hated women in America. Her attorney, Cheney Mason, said in September that his client had “gotten away with justice.”

The Backlash Continues

More than five years after Anthony walked out of jail, the public is still enraged at her acquittal — and at the fact that no one has been convicted of murdering Caylee. Dozens of Facebook groups still exist, dedicated to one goal: making sure that the woman who Nancy Grace once dubbed as “tot mom” doesn’t ever earn a penny off her crime by selling photos or interviews.

Anthony, now 30, is the subject of Scandal Made Me Famous, a show on the Reelz Channel that combines reenactments and exclusive interviews to tell the story of infamous crimes. An exclusive clip of the show is below.

In the show, insiders talk about Anthony’s bizarre behavior after her daughter vanished, including getting a tattoo and dancing on tables at nightclubs. The show explores possible scenarios of what may have happened to Caylee.

The Casey Anthony episode premieres on Saturday (9 p.m. ET) on the Reelz Channel.

Fashion Deals Update:

Gucci Guilty for Women 2.5oz

Gucci Guilty for Women 2.5oz

Gucci Guilty for Women by Gucci 2.5 oz 75 ml EDT Spray Guilty Made for the woman who shatters expectations, this fragrance imbues a feeling of power, a sense that she can attain whatever she wants-even the thrill of the forbidden. A sheer, floral-oriental fragrance, it opens with a bright burst of citrus and a dangerous hint of black pepper. This arresting introduction gives way to full-throttle femininity as its heart pulses with fruity and floral notes. The fragrance dries down to a rich, ambery base with notes of patchouli. The overall effect is young, stylish, and eminently wearable-a daring edge of sexiness and sensuality that captures the essence of Gucci. The stunning bottle fuses glass and metal, a feature revealed through Gucci’s signature interlocking “G” characters. At the center of the iconic logo’s letterforms, the bottle’s gleaming metallic surface is elegantly cut away to expose the bottle’s glass interior. Notes: Mandarin, Pink Pepper, Peach, Lilac, Geranium, Amber, Patchouli. Style: Daring. Rich. Sexy.

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Mom Guilty of Being a Baby Memory Book Slacker!

Can I get a fair trial before you throw the book at me? I’d like a plea bargain. I have six children, you know. Shouldn’t fathers also be persecuted for being an accomplice? They know where the ballpoint pens are kept, too!

Yesterday, my last (sixth!) child dragged out my firstborn’s “stuffed so full it’s tied shut with a ribbon” keepsake book to compare with her own minuscule 1/8 inch thin “baby pamphlet” as evidence of my crime. She’s lucky to have gotten any handwritten documentation out of me at all. I could’ve just shoved some loose teeth, a lock of hair and a stray bootie in an empty Lucky Charms cereal carton and called it Sentimental Creative License.

May I present Exhibit A below? The essential Family Tree found on the first page of all self-priding Memory Books, filled out in my prettiest cursive for Baby #1’s book.


And now, for my last child’s memory book, we have the version I’m most proud of. What an original family heirloom this will be!


As I further compare and contrast (to assert my innocence), my firstborn’s documentation would normally be written in blue font, whereas Sixth Child’s info (what little there is) should have been noted in pink font. This also reflects gender, so the Creative Memory Scrapbooking company would be so proud of me. But alas, here I must put First Child’s info inside a special box.

Just Like This Box!

I’m sure that will make my sixth child feel even more overlooked. We just won’t show this Huffington Post blog to her. Problem solved.

BABY’S NAME: Benjamin

SIGNIFICANCE OF NAME: Your Dad and I bonded over watching actor Benjamin Bratt in the television series “Law & Order.” On our honeymoon, we kissed in front of the Big Ben clock in London!

SIGNIFICANCE OF NAME: I wanted to remember my favorite vintage blouse, which got ruined when morning sickness made me vomit all over the Chantilly appliqué collar and sleeves. Tsk, Tsk!

HOW LABOR BEGAN: Shopping for nursery furniture, I felt a mild twinge, so we rushed to the hospital. The nurses thought we were so cute and sent us back home three different times until the pains came closer together.

HOW LABOR BEGAN: At Disneyland, my water broke on Splash Mountain. Nobody believed me. Your siblings insisted we stay for the Electrical Light Parade. Sitting curbside (writhing in pain), I was suddenly seized by a huge contraction, causing me to kick an extension cord out of an outlet. The entire park plunged into darkness.

THESE WONDERFUL INDIVIDUALS WERE PRESENT FOR YOUR BIRTH: Nana, Papa, Aunt Carol, Uncle Gary, Great Grandma Ethel, my wonderful obstetrician Dr. Pransky and of course, Daddy!


FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL: A darling lavender polka dotted poodle displayed in a doghouse on your dresser.

FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL: A cute dust bunny that hangs out under your crib.

And now in keeping with tradition, the classic page with my firstborn’s preserved hand and foot prints:


Though not depicted below, my sixth baby does possess a complete set of hands and feet. I thought leaving that part to the imagination added a nice touch of mystery!


Yes, Sixth Baby WAS nicknamed SpongeBob SquareToes for quite some time.

YOUR FIRST SOLID FOOD: Mashed banana, rice puree and strained spinach

YOUR FIRST SOLID FOOD: A piece of What’s His Name’s Big Mac, french fries, a diet coke.

FIRST WORDS: Mama, Dada, light, doggy, ball, cookie, more!

FIRST WORDS: Help! Valium, postpartum depression, Crème Brûlée, Weight Watchers!

YOU BEGAN TO USE YOUR HANDS AT: Six months THIS IS WHAT YOU DID: You reached out tentatively for a colorful rattle shaped like a butterfly!

THIS IS WHAT YOU DID: You shoved a Sharpie and this baby memory book into my arms and looked expectantly into my eyes.

Story time together is such a delight. Here are your favorite books and now they’re mine, too!
1. Pat the Bunny 2. Green Eggs & Ham 3. Where The Wild Things Are! 4. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie!

I’m so sick of your stupid books, I’ve changed up the titles for interest. Also, you’re getting more astute and have started wondering why every book consists of only two pages and then we chant triumphantly “The End!” Here’s your faves:

1. Splat The Bunny 2. Green Eggs & Spam 3. Where the Reviled Things Are! 4. If You Think Your Mom is Kooky!

FIRST LULLABYE: “Rockabye Baby”! I sing this to you in the beautiful oak rocking chair!

FIRST ALIBI: I couldn’t have sung to you because I became tone deaf. Plus, we used the rocking chair for kindling wood during a family camp out.

FIRST OUTING: We went to the park and you experienced your very first swing.

FIRST SHOUTING: You got to listen to your dad and I argue over how I parallel park and experienced my first mood swing.

And the last page of any baby book always ends with a poignant look at their independence — they aren’t infants anymore!

FIRST WALK: You took three steps and we all applauded for you!

FIRST WAVED: You’re off to preschool already — turned and waved to me “Bye-bye!” Good job! Where did all the time go??

(OK, so there were some “small time gaps” in Sixth Child’s book, but I DID finish her last page recently.)

FIRST JOCK: You’re a cheerleader now dating the high school quarterback!

FIRST SHAVED: Your legs look so smooth and silky! You’re off to college already? “Bye-bye!” Good job! Where did all the time go??

Now I admit there may be some substantiated claims of my lazy ways. So sue me! But don’t be surprised if I throw myself on the mercy of the court, claiming self-defense and get off with just a light warning.

You can find more parenting humor on Author’s Blog Right Here.
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Drug Dealer Pleads Not Guilty To Hollywood Executive’s Murder

By Dan Whitcomb

LOS ANGELES, Feb 26 (Reuters) – A convicted drug dealer pleaded not guilty on Thursday to murdering a Hollywood studio executive whose remains were found buried in the California desert last year, and a defense lawyer said he would prove the case was “mutual combat,” not homicide.

John Lenzie Creech, who is already serving an eight-year prison term for sale of a controlled substance, was ordered back to court on March 26 for further proceedings in the high-profile case surrounding the murder of Gavin Smith.

“Ultimately the defense will show that this was not a murder, that it was mutual combat between two men,” attorney Alex Kessel told reporters outside court following the brief hearing.

“It did not arrive at any type of intent to kill, any premeditation,” Kessel said.

Prosecutors, who have publicly revealed little of their evidence against Creech, 42, declined to respond to Kessel’s assertions following the hearing.

But family members of the murdered man released a statement saying Smith’s death had caused them “incomprehensible” pain, adding: “And have no doubt, the evidence will clearly show this was a cold-blooded, premeditated act of murder.”

Smith, a film distribution executive at 20th Century Fox, was 57 years old when he was last seen on the night of May 1, 2012, driving his black Mercedes away from a friend’s house in suburban Oak Park, north of Los Angeles.

Law-enforcement officials issued a missing person bulletin for Smith, also known for playing on UCLA’s 1975 national championship basketball team. His family posted a $ 20,000 reward, saying the 6-foot, 6-inch (1.98-meter) ex-athlete with “movie star” looks should be easy to spot.

Detectives got a break in February 2013 when Smith’s car was found in a storage facility in the Los Angeles suburb of Simi Valley, but his disappearance remained unsolved.

In November, police said a skull and other bones found by hikers in a shallow grave in the desert east of Los Angeles had been identified as belonging to the missing studio executive.

Prosecutors have not said how Smith was killed or what they believe could have motivated the crime. Smith had met Creech’s wife, Chandrika Creech, in rehab in 2009, according to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. (Reporting by Dan Whitcomb; Editing by Mohammad Zargham)

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Dog Found Guilty Of Playing In Garbage Adorably Sentences Herself To A Kennel Timeout

Autumn, the pup in the video above, finds herself in trouble and realizes she has two options:

A. Avoid confrontation and run away from the authorities (her human).
B. Turn herself in. The jig is up.

Autumn decides to do both. In this video uploaded to YouTube, the pooch’s owner calls out to her pet after discovering that Autumn has had some fun in the garbage pile.

The guilty dog starts out running away from her problems, but soon realizes her efforts are futile. She’s been spotted.

So, at the 0:46 mark, she trots on into her kennel. Gotta do the time.

H/T: Right This Minute

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As a Wife, I’m Guilty of These 5 Mistakes (And You Probably Are, Too)

After writing “I’m Guilty of These 5 Parenting Mistakes (And You Probably Are, Too),” I knew that I needed to write a post that pays homage to the major muck-ups that I make as a wife. Maybe I’ll also blog about the mistakes that I make as a rainbow loom maker, Turbo Tax user and fitted sheet folder. Seriously, when it comes to mistakes, I’m experienced on how to make them in all areas.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. It’s sometimes hard to believe that if our relationship were a person it would be in the seventh grade, donning shiny braces and saying asinine things like “cray cray” and “totes.”

Like all relationships, we’ve had our ups and downs. We’ve had arguments that ended with slamming doors and Michelin tires screeching down the driveway. We’ve declared our love and apologies over the phone once our tempers and transmissions cooled down. We’ve talked out our problems until the sun came up or one of husband’s farts lightened the mood. We’ve prayed together, cried together, laughed together and gotten food poisoning together after eating disgusting undercooked burgers doused in Heinz 57.

Most importantly, we have prevailed. We have persevered. We are raising two unbelievable children (despite our parenting mistakes), and we both have the same vision of someday pointing our rocking chairs towards the west, watching our grandchildren score major grass stains on the lawn and sharing Glucosamine and Chondroitin supplements.

However, as a wife, I make mistakes. And I make them often. I don’t need other wives telling me what mistakes I make, because I’m aware of them. You don’t need me telling you what mistakes you make, either, but you probably make these.

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I sometimes forget that my husband is my husband. He’s been around for so long that it seems like he’s just some dude leaving crumbs of Wavy Lays on the couch and dirty boxers on the floor right next to the hamper. I forget that he’s a hard worker, a wonderful provider and a loving father. I forget that sometimes my sarcasm and jokes hit below the belt. I forget that my job as his wife is to encourage him, compliment him, value him and support him. I often forget that he deserves my utmost respect.

2. Let’s Get It On

I’m tired. I’m tired a lot. By 9 p.m., the only things on my mind are folding the laundry, putting the kids’ snacks in their backpacks, locking the doors, feeding the malnourished fish, setting the clocks, brushing my teeth, lotioning my ashy elbows and getting into the bed to watch a show that does NOT involve animated pirates, sappy music while Danny Tanner resolves an issue, restoring cars or selling rare finds at a Las Vegas pawn shop. I want to relax and heave a collected sigh of relief that the day is done. I have no desire to play birds and bees. But, by God, men need it. They might just implode if they don’t get it. My husband is just as in need as the hungry Beta Fish. I often forget that I’m the one that must meet the need, whether or not I’m in the need-meeting mood.

3. Nothing Compares 2 U

Since the day my first child was born in 2006, she has been my reason for living. When her brother came along in 2010, he ranked right next to her on my priorities list. My children’s happiness and well-being far trumps anything in my life. Sometimes their needs trump my husband’s happiness and well-being. Date night shouldn’t solely be about my SAHM batteries recharging and how many margaritas I can consume before it’s time to go home. It should be about refreshing our relationship. I often forget that my husband needs my attention, my encouragement and my admiration as much as, if not more than, my children.

4. Control

I may make a ton of mistakes, but I know how to properly load a dishwasher. I also know how to hang a picture where it will be the most aesthetically pleasing in our home. I can discipline a kid and cook a meatloaf and I can pick out window treatments. I don’t need help in any of these areas, but my husband sometimes thinks that he should deposit two pennies into those accounts. Before I even hear his suggestion on how to cram more dishes into the dishwasher or where to hang the portrait or how to spice up dinner, I shoot him down (see no. 1, R-E-S-P-E-C-T). Sometimes I make him think that his idea is the worst idea since Miley Cyrus squatted on a wrecking ball. I often forget that my husband has pretty good ideas and although I’ll never admit it to him, that picture would look better over the mantle.

5. Pretty Woman

I once sent my husband the most brutally honest text message: “Let me know what time you’ll be home so I can get out of my pajamas and appear to have been productive today.” Some days the extent of my beauty regimen is brushing my teeth and popping the zit on my chin. If it’s a particularly cold day, I refuse to wear anything that didn’t come from the Gap Athletic Wear Collection. (FYI — you don’t have to actually be athletic to wear athletic wear). But, I know my husband appreciates it when I look nice. He never fails to tell me that I look beautiful when I’ve cleaned up and accessorized with scarves and dangly earrings. Some women like to believe that “inner beauty” is all a man needs. Newsflash — it’s not. Inner beauty is a wonderful, pure, lovely, noble thing. But a man also appreciates a nice-looking woman. I’m not saying that all women should morph into June Cleaver and mop Kool-Aid from the floor while wearing stilettos, but I often forget that removing eye boogers, washing the Crisco from my hair and trading the yoga pants for regular clothes once in a while is a step in the right direction.

Some days I feel as if I’ve really mucked up the whole wife-y thing. I rudely rolled my eyes at my husband, I didn’t pat him on the back when he really needed it, I put my own needs and my children’s needs before his. And the guilt sets in because I’ve got a really good man — he’s faithful, he’s hard-working, he’s kind, he’s easy-going. Watching him interact with our children still melts my heart and makes me smile.

I often forget to do the right thing in our marriage, but I’ll never forget how much I love my husband. That love is what fuels my desire to be better. That love is what makes me better today than yesterday. That love is the same love that will be in my heart when we rock on our back porch and watch our children and grandchildren. That love will be there when I forget to buy him Miralax or put tennis balls on his walker. I’ll always make mistakes, but that love will always remain.

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